THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

The Week of June 28, 1999

I'll be away on business (totally unrelated to this page) for most of the week. Rather than leave this page blank, I've turned over the reins (sort of) to Bill Feeney, who has been a frequent supporter and contributer from way-back-when around the time this page was just starting. Here are some of Bill's latest. Enjoy.

Clinton winning the right to keep U.S. troops between implacable foes in Kosovo in perpetuity is his greatest foreign policy accomplishment since he "restored democracy" to Haiti.
Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

There are serious problems with the plan to have British, Italian, French, German, and U.S. sectors of Kosovo. The Russians want a sector and are holding the Pristina Airport for leverage. The KLA are refusing to disarm. They are killing Serbs and have shot at the Russians. The Germans killed a few Serbs who refused to disarm. The British have exchanged gunfire with the KLA. Clinton has a good idea to stabilize the situation. Give the Bloods and the Crypts adjacent sectors of Kosovo.
Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

Clinton is trying to get the Russians to give up the Pristina Airport in Kosovo by sending Boris Yeltsin a case of vodka. If that doesn't work, he plans on getting the Russians to flee the airport in terror. He'll send Al Gore to lecture the Pristina Airport Russians about ozone.
Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

Al Gore promised an all-consuming ``fight for America's families'' in his presidential campaign. That means that he won't introduce Clinton to the wives and daughters of his campaign supporters.
Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

If Boris Yeltsin guarded his vodka the way Bill Clinton guarded the crown jewels of America's nuclear secrets, China would now be the world's biggest exporter of vodka.
bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

The bombing of the Chinese Embassy may be due to faulty intelligence, but isn't that the kind of intelligence that Clinton used in getting us in this war?
bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

For someone who promised to build a bridge to the 21st century, Clinton sure likes to blow up bridges.
bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

Right before Boris Yeltsin's impeachment vote Boris was thinking that he would attack Iraq. "It worked for Clinton in December, why not me?" Yeltsin told his aides.
bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

I always thought that Clinton was a Marxist. I just didn't realize that it was Groucho Marx and brothers that he follows, not Karl.
bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

U.S. Ambassador Sasser in China, trapped in the U.S. Embassy in Beijing, has started shredding documents. Fortunate that he learned from the best. Hillary taught him how to shred.
bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings.com (delete NOT to email)

Check out Bill's website: Bill Feeney's Floodlight Findings at http://www.floodlight-findings.com/

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