THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

A Perfect Game, Apollo 11, and Clinton Avenue

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Friday, July 23, 1999


The Highlights of the New Clinton Avenue

Now that Little Rock's Markham Street is being renamed to honor impeached President Clinton, the city fathers are now busy planning what should be on that avenue:

The Top Six Planned Attractions for Clinton Avenue
6. A Chinese restaurant with egg rolls and nuclear secrets on the menu.
5. A massage parlor.
4. A park with Leaves of Grass.
3. A cigar shop.
2. An adult book store named "The Clinton Library".
1. Someplace where a guy can get a "Lewinsky".
[Number 6 from an Arkansas Gazette editorial,
others by C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Thursday, July 22, 1999


Strolling Down Clinton Avenue

The city of Little Rock, Ark., is renaming a 21-block section of one street to Clinton Avenue. It's unofficially being called the new "Red Light District".
[Harry & Cindy, harrycindy@sprintmail.com]

Clinton Avenue will also be the site of the future Clinton Library, which will have an extensive adult book section, with lots of picture magazines for those who haven't learned to read yet.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Tuesday, July 20, 1999


Clinton Celebrates Apollo 11

The Top Five Ways Bill Clinton Celebrated the Anniversary of Apollo 11

5. Snorted until he had a great "Buzz".
4. Got his Chinese food and campaign contributions today from Mr. Tang.
3. "Strong-armed" an intern, mounted her on the desk and announced "My eagle has landed!"
2. "That's one small step for a man and one giant leap for her butt."
1. Mooned the Secret Service.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Monday, July 19, 1999


David Cone Pitches Perfect Game!

New York Yankee pitcher David Cone pitched only the 16th perfect game in Major League history. It was the third pitched in Yankee Stadium.
Reached for a comment, the Yankees' Number One Fan, Hillary Clinton said, "I'm thrilled. This is one of the football's greatest achievements."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

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