THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Nudestock, Flag Flap, Raising a River and Yankees & Indians
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, July 30, 1999
Arkansas Flag Over NYC
While NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani visited Little Rock, Ark, earlier this
week, a New York City flag flew outside his accommodations. Rudy returned
the favor in kind by flying the Arkansas flag over City Hall.
A ruckus ensued as the Democrat-dominated City Council demanded an
end to a blatant political stunt. And the Manhattan Borough President
(an African-American woman) called the flag a symbol of racism.
Apparantly,
anything that comes out of the South or having to do with Arkansas in
general is "racist".
No comment from the former governor of that state, who never tried to
change that flag, or his wife.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, July 28, 1999
Nudestock '99
Front pages of New York newspapers this morning are covered with
stories of uncovered females at Woodstock 99. More specifically, the
news items relate how NY state troopers allegedly posed and were
photographed with partially disrobed women. Further, these troopers
encouraged women to go topless, or at the very least, didn't discourage
the group sex going on around them.
One newspaper features a front page photo of a young woman, topless,
arms outstretched, whose breasts are covered by a pair of hands that are
obviously not her own. In fact, upon further analysis, it has been
discovered that those hands belong to . . .
. . . New York Gov. George Pataki.
A spokesman for the Pataki office said, "Using state troopers
to get babes got Bill Clinton into the White House, the governor thought
it might improve his chances."
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
This Just In: After viewing this morning's newspaper, and the goings-on
in Rome, N.Y., impeached President Clinton announced that he would join
Hillary's listening tour of New York State.
What would he do there? As the saying goes, "When in Rome . . . "
Tuesday, July 27, 1999
Gore's Environmental Ads
Last week, environmentally-minded V.P. Al Gore posed for some ads
in a canoe on the Connecticut River. The problem of the low water
level, which might signify his campaign's scraping bottom, was resolved
when some four billion gallons of water were released
from an up-river dam.
Hey, what's a few drops on water during a drought for the
environmental candidate.
May I suggest that his next symbolic, environmental ad should depict
Al as a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming Bush.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Monday, July 26, 1999
Yankees Slaughter Indians
The Cleveland Indians went to New York hoping to improve their
record as the best team in baseball. Instead, they were pummelled
so badly in the Bronx, losing by an astounding twenty
runs. The headlines blares, "Yankees Slaughter Indians".
V.P. Al Gore, on the campaign trail, got wind of this and went
into a long-winded diatribe on the plight of Native Americans.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
I wonder if he told that personal story about the plight of
his best friend, Chases After Squaws.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Click here for an important note.
Prev Joke | Next Joke
This page, and all the pages it has links to, are Copyright
1996-1999 Christopher J. Burke. All rights reserved.
Clinfinition and Hillaryous are
trademarks of C. J. Burke's Bill Clinton Joke-of-the-Day Page.
Some of the images seen in these pages originated at the White House home
page. Visit them at http://www.whitehouse.gov.