THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE

Hillary, the Senate, FALN, Guns, and the Weather

Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the current President.

Note: Friday was a Floyd washout.

Thursday, September 16, 1999

Chappaqua Braces for Floyd!
Residents of Chappaqua, NY are preparing for the coming of Hurricane Floyd and the accompanying rain and wind.
Said one resident, "Boy, two disasters in one month!"
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Some residents may believe that these are just the first two signs of the approaching apocalypse: Clintons, hurricanes, locust, plague, Y2K . . . .
Note on yesterday's joke: As you may have realized if you watch Nick at Nite (or not), the most famous Floyd (the one the comes most readily to mind) before the hurricane was Floyd the barber. So maybe Bill made an obvious mistake.

Wednesday, September 15, 1999

It's a Closed World, After All
For the first time in its history, Orlando's Disneyworld theme parks are closed.
The reason for the closure? The president was getting a haircut from the Fantasyland barber and the rides were shut down for security reasons.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]

Tuesday, September 14, 1999

FALN Freedom
After the release of the 12 FALN terrorists, Congress voted 311-41 for a resolution that said the president "should not have granted clemency to the FALN terrorists."
Democrats supporting early release of the terrorists reasoned that the armed robberies committed by these terrorists to raise funds for their fellow terrorists' deadly bombings only involved pointing guns at people they were robbing. They never did anything as malicious as buying the guns at a gun show.
[Bill Feeney, bfeeney@NOTfloodlight-findings (delete NOT to email) (edited)]
Averting Tragedy
"Every gun turned in through a buyback program means potentially one less tragedy."
Impeached President Bill Clinton.
Interesting that he doesn't feel that letting a dozen terrorists out of jail could lead to another potential tragedy.
[anonymous submission]

Monday, September 13, 1999

Hillary Clinton Strategy Meeting
Now that Hillary's dismal Senate campaign is losing what little ground it had, I am proud to present . . .
The Top Five Things Overheard at a Recent Hillary Strategy Meeting

5. "Heads it's New Jersey. Tails it's Nevada."
4. "Can we still get the money back on the house?"
3. "Here Mrs. Clinton. Take this dart and aim it at that map of the United States."
2. "Maybe we release some Jewish terrorists? Or some Irish terrorists? How about John Gotti?"
1. "The Texas governorship is opening up in 2001."
[C. J. Burke]

Click here for an important note.

Prev Joke | Next Joke

Joke-of-the-Day Main Page | Joke Archive | C. J. Burke's home page | Mail

This page, and all the pages it has links to, are Copyright 1996-1999 Christopher J. Burke. All rights reserved.
Clinfinition and Hillaryous are trademarks of C. J. Burke's Bill Clinton Joke-of-the-Day Page.
Some of the images seen in these pages originated at the White House home page. Visit them at http://www.whitehouse.gov.