THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Loans, Golfing in the Rain, Reform, Libaries and Bullfrogs
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, October 22, 1999
Gore the Bullfrog?
Hot on the heels of that popular party game
"Al Gore or the Unabomber" comes the latest craze:
"If I were the king of the world, I tell you what I'd do
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the wars . . . "
Yes, it's that new game, "Al Gore or the Bullfrog".
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Thursday, October 21, 1999
Clinton Library Moving
The Clinton Presidential Memorial Library is plagued by cost
overruns and underfunding. In an effort to cut costs, the library
may move to Nevada, where the land is cheap and the Lewinkskis are
legal.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, October 20, 1999
Clinton, Trump, Beatty??
Warren Beatty has jokingly referred to as a possible presidential
candidate, and now Donald Trump is seriously considering a presidential
campaign of his own.
Really, after 8 years of Bill Clinton, aren't we entitled to
a Commander-in-Chief to whom "Tripoli" isn't just a bra size??
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Tuesday, October 19, 1999
Someone Left Bill Clinton in the Rain
The Drudge Report has reported that Bill Clinton
played 18 holes of golf Sunday night, on short notice, by himself, in
the dark, in the rain. Clinton insiders described the behavior as
"odd", "strange", and "complete out of character". Perhaps he was
working off stress, or perhaps there is another reason . . .
The Top Ten Reasons Bill Clinton Golfed in the Rain
10. No more missiles left to wag any dogs.
9. Dropped a bundle on the Boston Red Sox.
8. Just got a million-dollar adjustable rate mortgage and now Greenspan wants to adjust interest rates.
7. He just learned that he's falling below the poverty line.
6. Hillary put saltpeter in his dinner.
5. When Buddy's horny, at least he can hump Clinton's leg.
4. No one see you make inaudible curses in the dark.
3. Was PO'ed that "Third Watch" was pre-empted for the extra-long Atlanta-New York game.
2. He's so far in debt, he had no money to get into the World Wrestling Federation
or the Martha Stewart Living IPOs this week.
1. Another shoe is about to drop!
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
" . . . and I don't think that he can make it,
because I'm sure that he can't take it
that he'll never be the president again!
Oh, no ! . . . "
Monday, October 18, 1999
The Loan Arranger
The Clintons changed course and cancelled their questionable
million-dollar mortgage (the questions being "how could they get
away with this?" and "what are they giving in return?") and get
a conventional adjustable-rate mortgage.
It almost makes me hope for serious interest rate hikes.
[C. J. Burke]
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