THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Election Day, Clinfinitions(tm), "zeppa" males and the new New Yorker
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, November 5, 1999
A Resident New Yorker
Hillary Clinton has closed on her house and announced that she will
use this house as her primary residence. Asked whether she will share
that primary residence with the impeached president, she replied, "Do I
really have to?"
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Hillary's only beginning to realize the things one must do and the
levels one may sink herself just to get elected. Yes, that might even
mean sleeping with Bill Clinton, like so many have done before her.
And
after her.
And in between.
Thursday, November 4, 1999
The "zeppa" male
When asked a question about Al Gore becoming the "alpha male" at the
White House and Bill Clinton becoming the "beta male", Joe Lockhart
acknowledged that "the [impeached] president's going to do whatever he
can to help the vice president get elected as the next president."
When asked if that makes him the "beta" male, Lockhart asked "What
comes after 'beta'? He's the 'zappa male.' "
There you have it -- Bill Clinton: Dancin' Fool!
(Or should we just call him "Dweezil"?)
Actually, he's more of a Zeppo, the least funny and the one we'll
hope will go away and be forgotten.
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Wednesday, November 3, 1999
Clinfinition(tm) #32: Shebang
Clinfinition(tm): Shebang -- 1. Proof that
Bill Clinton isn't gay; 2. Proof that Hillary is?
[C. J. Burke, cjburke@io.com]
Some Previous Clinfinitions(tm)
Tuesday, November 2, 1999
Election Day
Halloween isn't over yet for the Clintons. Hillary's still
pretending to be a possible senatorial candidate, Bill's still
pretending to be a man of unimpeachable character, and all the
Democrats are still pretending that if you treat them to votes
today, you won't get tricked.
[C. J. Burke]
Monday, November 1, 1999
Clinton's Up "Early"
Impeached President Clinton was up early today to be the centerpiece
attraction on the first edition of the new Bryant Gumbel morning news
program, The Early Show.
Clinton arrived early and the first question asked was, "So, where's
Mariah?"
An aide then informed him that Mariah Carey had chosen to
perform on the Today show.
"But", the impeached president protested, "you told me she was booked."
"Well," the aide replied, "it all depends on what the definition
of 'was' was."
[C. J. Burke]
Anyone else catch Mariah on Today this morning.
I know Bill's wishing he did.
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