THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Clinton, Pokemon, Drew Barrymore, Human Rights, Evil Men and
Millionares
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, November 19, 1999
Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?
Questions considered for the show . . .
Now, the $100 question:
Which of the following has the greatest chance at
a future politial career?
A. Bill Clinton
B. Al Gore
C. Hillary Clinton
D. Just about everyone else in the United States.
Obviously, this could only be worth $100.
The $200 question:
Which of the following women has Bill Clinton NOT slept with,
fondled, or otherwise exposed himself to?
A. Gennifer Flowers
B. Juanita Broaddrick
C. Elizabeth Ward Gracen
D. Hillary Clinton
For $300:
Which of the following is NOT a term describing someone involved
with the current administration?
A. Harmless little fuzzball
B. The Rapist-in-Chief
C. James Car-Vile
D. Hitlary
For $500:
Which costs the most money?
A. Five years of Ken Starr's investigation
B. One week of Clinton in China
C. One afternoon of bombing aspirin factories
D. An hour and a half at McDonald's
[C. J. Burke]
Thursday, November 18, 1999
Most Evil Men of the Millenium
Though there's still a year to go, the New York Post
has released the results of its online poll of the
Top 25 Most Evil People of the Millenium. Adolf Hitler came in first.
Impeached President Bill Clinton finished second, a scant 39 write-in
votes behind in over 19,000 votes cast.
In a related story, a psychic in tune with the Underworld has reported
that Hitler is demanding a recount!
[C. J. Burke]
You have to wonder when someone gets over 1600 write-in votes . . .
Wenesday, November 17, 1999
Clinton, Pokemon and Drew Barrymore
Top movie in the United States this past weekend was Warner Bros.'
"Pokemon", the Japanese import, which translates as
"pocket monsters" and which earned over fifty million dollars.
Rival studios are looking for a way to cash in. The creators of
the Larry Flynt story are calling Bill Clinton about doing a movie
called "Zippemon".
[C. J. Burke]
Meanwhile, impeached President Bill Clinton is still
overseas, but he's doing everything he can to keep in touch with the
goings-on in the United States.
For instance, the other day he sent an aide scrambling to scrounge
up copies of the London tabloids covering the story of Drew Barrymore
changing her pants in the parking lot behind the Four Seasons in L.A.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, November 16, 1999
Clinton and Human Rights
Bill Clinton is praising the Turks for their human rights as the
Turkish police are beating demonstrators protesting him. Next he will
be endorsing the KKK as human rights advocates.
[anonymous submission]
Monday, November 15, 1999
Clinton and the NRA
Bill Clinton reportedly said at a recent fundraiser that he was
once a lifetime member of the NRA and that he still
has his jacket somewhere.
"Of course," the impeached president added, "in this case,
the 'R' stands for
'Rapists'."
[C. J. Burke]
Talk about a change of pace: Clinton can't find that old jacket.
Usually, it's his pants that he can't find.
[C. J. Burke]
Click here for an important note.
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