THE BILL CLINTON JOKE-OF-THE-DAY ARCHIVE
Thanksgiving Week: Scandals, Pardons, Slogans and more
Warning: this page is currently for mature audiences. So is the
current President.
Friday, November 26, 1999
The Cat and Mouse of the Beltway
Now that Hillary has announced her intentions to announce her
possible Senate run, she's heading for New York, leaving hubby Bill
to hold down the bunker in D.C. Hillary's not worried at the moment,
but maybe she should be.
You know the old saying, "When Hil's away, Bill will play!"
[C. J. Burke]
HILLARY'S CAMPAIGN SLOGAN!
(as it appeared on Free Republic)
SCRAPE THE BOTTOM,
VOTE FOR RODHAM
Thursday, November 25, 1999
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Wednesday, November 24, 1999
Presidential Pardons
Yesterday, impeached President Clinton continued the long
Thanksgiving tradition of pardoning a turkey. This year, he expanded
upon the tradition and pardoned two turkeys.
This leaves his wife and vice president free to pursue higher office.
[C. J. Burke]
Tuesday, November 23, 1999
Holiday Menu
The Chef at the White House has been busily preparing the menu
for Thursday Thanksgiving dinner but he has yet to get the final OK
from the Clintons for the main course. Finally, out of frustration,
he sent a message overseas that read simply "Turkey for Thanksgiving?"
The impeached president sent back a reply: "No, we'll be back in
the U.S. by then."
[C. J. Burke]
Oversubmitted Bonus Joke
Q: Did you hear there are two fewer holidays at the White
House this year?
A: The witch is out of town and she took the turkey with her.
[Submitted by more people than I care to
count; please stop]
Monday, November 22, 1999
Clinton Scandals to Come?
News Item:
Established in 1994 to fight government corruption, Judicial Watch,
Inc., the non-partisan public interest watchdog, has moved steadily to
trial in a number of cases, along the way exposing what Representative
Bob Barr has credited as a successful effort to uncover about 90% of the
corruption in the Clinton Administration.
What could possibly make up the other 10%? Here are some guesses:
5. Regularly sneaks a ninth item through the
eight-item express line.
4. He once acted on a request from the Human Rights
Commission because they signed it "HRC" and he thought
it was an order from his wife.
3. He's denied paternity of all but one child . . .
but he won't say what child.
2. He's been counterfeiting holographic Pokemon
Charizard cards.
1. His blind trust owns Microsoft.
[C. J. Burke]
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