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Thursday, December 23, 1999

Did you hear that Bill Clinton is planning on abolishing his "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy for Christmas?
He wants to "make the Yuletide gay."
[C. J. Burke]

Wednesday, December 22, 1999

Tuesday, December 21, 1999

'Twas the night before Christmas
And in the White House,
Bill Clinton was sleeping
But not with his spouse.

The stockings were draped
On his executive chair
And not on their interns --
Their legs were all bare.

And Monica in her kneepads
And I dropped my pants
The rest laid down ready
For their chance to dance.

When out in the hall
There arose such a noise.
Someone was scuffling
With the Secret Service boys!

I pushed off the intern
And pulled up the trousers,
But Capt. Hook got caught
And I screamed, "Ouch! Yowzers!"

Then what throw a vase
In my general direction
But Hillary, my wife
Screaming, "You'll ruin my election!"

She kicked at an intern
As she picked up two lamps
"Everyone out!
Leave here, you tramps!"

She slowly approached
With death in eyes.
With no escape route
I fell back on lies.

"Why, you're looking great
And I've been so bad
Let's me love, then forgive me
Oh, please don't be mad.

"Rudy's a wuss
We should poke with a fork
'Cause his campaign is over.
You're the Queen of New York.

"But you've been away
And I've been so lonely
So stand my your man,
Be my one and only."

She stopped her attack
Lest someone report it
Then turned to leave
"Thank goodness! She bought it!"

But I heard her reply
When she walked out the door
"This Christmas is yours,
But I want six more!"
[C. J. Burke]

Monday, December 20, 1999

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