"Jail to the Chief" stamp
in addition to regular postage, of course.
To: cjburke@io.com
From: Mtngeezers@......... (Jim & Barb)
Date: 05/23/2000 11:18:16 PM GMT
Subject: President Clinton
I think this site stinks. You surely do not have anything to do. This is what is wrong with our Country. You should be writing about things to help our children, our politicians who make laws that no one keeps especially themselves, abuse of children, abuse of older people by their families and nursing homes, murder on the streets, drugs every where, guns that you can get anywhere, registering guns would be a plus, Heston does not want and the ERA does not want registeration because probably the guns they have are not purchase like they should be. There is alot of good you could do on you site rather than make fun of Bill Clinton.
What would you have said and done if you had been in his shoes and as for the women, well, they went and received and should have stayed where they were.
I am out of here. Thanks for reading.
Actually, I'm doing "alot of good"[sic] for this country by making fun of Bill Clinton. And, hey, let's hear it for Charlton Heston and the "ERA"[sic].
Maine Gov. Angus King has signed a bill that demands that all Maine communities and natural landmarks containing the word "squaw" must be renamed. This is because it has been recently discovered that American Indian misogynists have for centuries been reducing the females of their tribes to a certain portion of their anatomy, and that the word they taught the "white man" for "Indian female" was, in fact, a vulgar expression.
Ironically, this news comes just as the U. S. Mint is trying to distribute the new One Dollar Coin, that features a "portrait" (though no real images actually exist) of Lewis & Clark guide, Sacajewea.
Taking a cue from the nickname for a tenspot (and not the coffee shop), I've decided to christen these new coins with a nickname to honor Gov. Angus King (whose very name offends me because we fought a war with England to get rid of "Kings"). The new name, here and forevermore, of the Sacajewea dollar shall be
Thank you.
If you're planning on submitting a St. Patrick's Day themed joke, please do so before Friday. They do me little good when they are received on Friday, and they're practically useless after the fact. "You know what would have been a good joke to have used last week . . . " is not a good way to start a submission.
Arkansas code 1-5-107:
1-5-107. Confederate Flag Day.
(a) The Saturday immediately preceding Easter Sunday of each year
is designated as "Confederate Flag Day" in this state.
(b) No person, firm, or corporation shall display any Confederate
flag or replica thereof in connection with any advertisement of any
commercial enterprise, or in any manner for any purpose except to honor
the Confederate States of America.
(c) Any person, firm, or corporation violating the provisions of
this section shall be guilty of a misdemeanor and upon conviction shall
be fined not less than one hundred dollars ($100) nor more than one
thousand dollars ($1,000).
And Tennessee code 15-2-107 on Holidays, Special observance:
15-2-101. Additional special observance days.
Each year it is the duty of the governor of this state to proclaim the following as days of special observance; January 19, "Robert E. Lee Day"; February 12, "Abraham Lincoln Day"; March 15, "Andrew Jackson Day"; June 3, "Memorial or Confederate Decoration Day"; July 13, "Nathan Bedford Forrest Day"; and November 11, "Veterans' Day"; the governor shall invite the people of this state to observe the days in schools, churches, and other suitable places with appropriate ceremonies expressive of the public sentiment befitting the anniversary of such dates.
[Acts 1931, ch. 2, 1; C. Supp. 1950, 7520.1; Acts 1953, ch. 91, 1; impl. am. Act of Congress, June 1, 1954, ch. 250; Acts 1969, ch. 166, 3; 1973, ch. 23, 2; T.C.A. (orig. ed.), 55-204.]
Nathan Bedford Forrest was the first Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.
The fine folks over Free Republic have taken to sticking dollar bills in envelopes and sending them off to:
Trish (Hillary's Waitress)
Village House Restaurant
16 East Ave
Albion, NY 14411-1613
Some of them have even used the
"Jail to the Chief" stamp
in addition to regular postage, of course.
Be sure to tell Trish where you heard about her.
For some reason, I've received multiple copies of the same two jokes in the past week. Now, it's not unusual for me to get the same jokes submitted over and over again, but these two were well above the norm.
Folks, I've heard the one about Hillary and Kentucky Fried Chicken, and I have to assume, considering that I've received copies of this joke for nearly four years now, that everyone else has heard it by now.
And Bill Clinton's taste in musical instruments was covered on this page nearly two years ago, right after the Monica situation first erupted. (And, thanks to Matt Drudge for breaking the story -- he didn't link to me, but I got a major traffic bump that weekend!)
Just a little reminder, that one way or another, there's only a year to go 'til the nation is freed from its 8-year sentence of Clinton. Pity we didn't get time off for good behavior, but we didn't earn it last January when we had the chance.
"I believe that to have a friend, a man must be one.
That all men are created equal and that everyone has within himself the power to make this a better world.
That God put the firewood there but that every man must gather and light it himself.
In being prepared physically, mentally, and morally to fight when necessary for that which is right.
That a man should make the most of what equipment he has.
That 'This government, of the people, by the people and for the people' shall live always.
That men should live by the rule of what is best for the greatest number.
That sooner or later...
somewhere...somehow... we must settle with the world and make payment for what we have taken.
That all things change but truth, and that truth alone, lives on forever. In my Creator, my country, my fellow man."
Sharlene Wilson soon will be free! Wilson, who was a victim of Arkansas' corrupt criminal justice system, which existed during the tenure of Governor Bill Clinton, is about to be released from prison. In fact, it was Wilson who once told an Arkansas grand jury that she saw the man, who is now our president, get so high on cocaine that he fell into a garbage can. Last Thursday, the state's parole board voted to release Wilson who, eight years ago was arrested and prosecuted by her former boyfriend, Dan Harmo
In 1993, Sharlene was sentenced to 31 years on this relatively minor first-time drug offense, which was extremely harsh when compared to the 11 year sentence Harmon later received for running his Seventh Judicial District prosecuting attorney's office as a criminal enterprise. In 1997, a jury found him guilty on five counts of racketeering, extortion and drug dealing.
For those going to vote tomorrow and still haven't made up their minds, here are two important votes from around the country:
First in Philadelphia: Everyone that is anyone in the Democrat Party -- including the impeached president and his wife -- have taped ads and messages in an effort to keep a Democrat mayor in office. Yet as this is written, the contest is still close and may come down to the wire.
Bill Clinton believes that if Philly goes Republican, it could affect the way the state goes in the next election and those electoral votes could sway the entire nation. Dramatic, perhaps, but it's reason enough to encourage Philly Republicans to turn out in record numbers.
Second, in New York City: there's a City Charter amendment being proposed. What's wrong with this one? It's hard to find a place to begin. First, it creates the need for a special election should the mayor leave office (such as to be a Senator), except that it won't take effect until 2002, so it doesn't do what Rudy Guiliani wanted it to do in the first place -- keep Public Advocate Mark Green out of the Mayor's office.
Next, it removes the portion of the City Charter that states that the Public Advocate presides over the City Council. This clause is there because, once upon a time, the "public advocate" was actually the City Council President, which once wielded major budgetary powers but is now little more than a figurehead. The public advocate has two duties: succeed the mayor and break any ties in the City Council (which currently holds 3 Republicans and over 3 dozen Democrats). This change would effective remove what little power the office holds while leaving the office in existence!
Finally, there's the gun-free zone provision. Sounds good, who can argue against gun-free zones around schools? But there's a catch -- this provision also requires gun locks, not just in the commercial sale of guns, but in the personal storage of guns in one's own home!
Remember, these changes, which were written in a span of weeks with little review, are all-or-nothing. There may be something that sounds good in the package, but you have to take everything else along with it. It is always easier to get a new good law than it is to get rid of an existing bad one. Don't make any of these into law.
Thanks to all my readers. (Oh, boy, now my bandwidth charges are going up again!)
Do you remember the Chinese gymnast that was paralyzed during last year's Goodwill Games, organized by CNN's founder Ted Turner? Turner promised to help Sang Lan and secure her future. Well, that was before Turner's people asked Lan to repay the money they gave her to have her parents fly to New York from China. Turner has turned his backed on Sang Lan and hasn't paid her a penny. He got his free publicity and milked her for what she was worth and then tossed her aside when she was no longer of any use.
(Remind you of anyone?)
Here's the whole story.
TOTAL VICTIMS: 56 MILLION!
Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership
http://www.jpfo.org
Editor's Note: In the United States, the first Gun Control laws were passed in the Civil-War-era South. The laws were put in place to keep guns out of the hands of slaves who might rise up against their owners, and to keep guns out of the hands of blacks in general to keep them in their place.
Gun Control: a racial issue.
Has anyone gone to Harlem yet and polled the residents: "Do you
believe that only the police should have guns?"
The letters that I've received from the gentleman known only as "Ketnom" have been expanded as the correspondence has grown. They've been collected as the Ketnom Chronicles. Enjoy.
UPDATE! Now, now, gentle readers. I've heard that some of you have been bugging Mr. "Ketnom" like pranksters poking sticks through the bars at the caged monkeys. That isn't funny -- just as you should appreciate the monkeys for their own innate silliness, appreciate the opposing viewpoint of "Ketnom" without disturbing him. He's disturbed enough.
If you visited this page over the last weekend, you may have noticed that the usual background was replaced with a grayish color with a white-font message: "Clinton's a rapist."
That message is succinct and to the point. But I'm wondering, could we do better? What message would you like to see there? (Keep it clean!) Send me your suggestions at cjburke@io.com. Thanks.
The Democrats haven't just set their sights on the White House and the House of Representatives in 2000, they're looking to take back the Senate.
They're going to have to look a little harder.
Conventional wisdom was that they had a chance to make inroads because the GOP has more seats up for re-election that the donkeys do. That will happy to a majority party that occupies more seats to begin with.
But something happened on the road to victory: three flat tires. As of this writing, there are now three Democrat Senators who have announced that they would retire in 2000 rather than stand on their records. Open seats are much harder to defend that occupied ones.
Making matters worse, the three seats are by no means safe. In New Jersey, there is speculation that Governor Christie Todd Whitman will take a shot at the seat, a virtual shoo-in. In Nevada, Republican John Ensign lost a 1998 senatorial bid by only 400 votes statewide; he's now the frontrunner for Sen. Bryan's slot. And in New York, the venerable Daniel Patrick Moynihan is stepping down (or being pushed out) to make way for the next wave of liberals in New York. The only problem is that the number one man with the Liberal Party is Republican Rudy Guiliani, who could kick Hillary's butt from Nassau to Niagra and all over Clinton County.
So the longshot of a Senate takeover just got longer. For what it's worth, I read it as three down, 42 to go.
Style guides and grammar books all state that the word "president" should only be capitalized when refering to the president of the United States and only when using it as a title preceding his name. That's why in the newspapers you'll often see Bill Clinton referred to as "the president" or "President Clinton". Note the difference in case.
For the past two-and-one-half years, this page has, out of courtesy and respect for the office of the presidency itself, always capitalized the word, whether or not that office's occupant's name appeared after it or not.
I can no longer continue to do so. After weeks of trial coming on the heels of the House hearings, I have concluded that I have respect that could be measured in orders of magnitude higher than the current officeholder and I can no longer continue to honor such a man who has no honor. So he will be referred to hereafter as simply "president".
Well, no, not that simply. Actually, he's really our "impeached president".
Thank you for understanding.
To: cjburke@io.com
From: nathaniel walters
Date: 01/26/99 05:38:07 PM GMT
Subject: (no subject)
You wouldn't know a joke if it bit you in the *ss. You DC saturated
idiots. The rest of the country enjoys actual Humor! Hunter Thompson
is right- you're all a bunch of whores. And so no respect forthcoming,
Someone who is better than you,
for
sure
Yeow! Something just bit me in the *ss and I think it was nathaniel walters.
Of course, "the rest of the country" (taking a break from the overused "the American people"?) enjoys Humor -- look who they re-elected! It's the only explanation.
And thanks for the warning -- if I'm ever in DC, I'll be sure to stick to polyunsaturated idiots, recommended by 4 out of 5 nutritionists.
To: cjburke@io.com
From: "DEXTER & NIKKI HARMON"
Date: 01/13/99 01:10:02 AM GMT
Subject:
WHO ARE YOU TO WRITE SUCH STUPID REDNECK UNEDUCATED FORM OF LITERATURE. YOU
NEED TO BE EDUCATED ON A BACK STREET BO. YOU DON'T HAVE SENSE ENOUGH TO COME
OUT OF A HARD RAIN. WHY DON'T YOU GET A REAL EDUCATION LIKE I WORKED HARD FOR.
IF YOU NEED LESSON I WILL TEACH YOU LITTLE BOY. YOU ARE AS STUPID AS AN
ASS--------- DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS
COMMUNIST SYMPATHIZER
The first thing you need a lesson in, Dexter & Nikki, is how to ease off the "Caps Lock" key. Second, from the poor punctuation and formatting of your message, I couldn't tell if you signed it "Communist Sympathizer" or if that's what you were calling me. If you were calling me one, let's just say there's someone who needs an education . . . and it isn't me.
Wow! Two great letters in one week! I must be catching on.
To: cjburke@io.com
You will count my hit to your site, but there won't be another.
It's bad
enough that after 3 or possibly 4 attempts to kill this man,
Care to clue me in on these attempts on Bill's life? Or are you
refering to Hillary's lamp throwing? You realize that everything you have
to say is incredibly suspect ruining
everyone who ever spoke to this man, ruining his life and family and then
finally after millions and millions of dollars they finally
entraped[sic] him,
people like you cash in on, not only his misfortune, but the nations as
well.
His only crime was caring more about the people of the U.S.A. than
following orders of the powers that be.
I am not the only person that
feels this way or Clinton would not have been voted the most admired man
in the country.
The European, and most probably the world, community are not only laughing
at us, but loseing[sic] a lot of respect for
our government not Bill Clinton
Yes, the world has been laughing -- at the American people. They wonder
why we allow a criminal to remain in power. Kathryan Barber
Too bad -- now you won't see your name in lights
From: "farmersdaughter"
Date: 01/08/99 02:42:05 PM GMT
Subject: reply
Whoop! Whoop! Wacko Alert! Wacko Alert!
And just how was he "entraped"? Did Monica knock him down
on his desk, rip his pants off and force herself on him just as the Secret
Service ran in to discover them in a mad tongue tango?
You may find this hard to believe, but I haven't made a dime
from my distaste for our President. Not that I wouldn't mind making a dime
for all the hardship he's caused, but, frankly, I haven't tried, and that's
not why I run this page.
Hold the phone, Ms. Barber! The only person Bill Clinton
cares about is Bill Clinton and the legacy of Bill Clinton. And, excuse me,
but I always thought that the President was supposed to be the "powers that
be". I won't even dignify the phrase "his only
crime"
Gee, and nobody told me about the election.
The rest of the world doesn't laugh at us because of the
President's sex life. They laugh at us becuase of all the crap he's pulled
off and that no one seems to care about. Read the London papers sometime.
You want to know about Filegate? They covered it years ago. Vince Foster?
They covered him, too. They've covered scandal after scandal with in-depth
investigative reporting that you just won't find in the New York Times or
Washington Post. Maybe because they don't get invited to state dinners so
they don't feel they have to regurgitate the White House spin.
Very angry in South Texas
I will never vote republican again
Somehow, I doubt you've ever voted Republican before, either. Probably
not even for your popular governor, Mr. George W. Bush.
And this may come as a shock to you, but taking your revenge upon me out
against the GOP is silly. I'm not a registered Republican. I'm an independent.
Quite frequently, I get brief notes from spell-checking-challenged
fans stating simply, "Ur page suckz, u luser." But
occassionally, a letter rises to a such a level of intelligence-challengedness
that I feel it my duty to share it with the rest of my readers. Ladies and
gentlemen, I give you the tragic styles of Matt Stiles:
To: cjburke@io.com
The phrase I quoted from your site is false.
"The obstruction of justice charge passed with 221 votes including
five Democrat votes, without whom the article of impeachment would
have failed."
The House Republicans could have impeached Clinton without a single
Democratic vote. I may not agree with the crap that you publish on
your site, but at least I know the facts. Thats the problem with you
right-wing nuts, your passionate about rhetoric and slander and low on
substance. You should think about the responsibility that comes with
being an editor before you upload a site.
I am not worried, as long as people associate the Republican Party
with fanatic EXPLETIVE DELETED like you, us
tax-and-spend liberals will be fine.
Wake up,
From: "Matt Stiles"
Date: 01/05/99 10:46:55 PM GMT
Subject: error on your site
Matt Stiles
It is such a shame that our educational system has sunk to a point so
low that simple mathematics isn't practiced any more. At least, it isn't
practiced -- and certainly isn't perfected -- by Mr. Stiles. Let me
state this on a level that he might be able to deal with it:
Question 1: There were 221 votes to impeach. Five Democrats voted to
impeach. All the other votes were Republican. How many Republicans
voted to impeach?
Question 2: If 218 votes are needed to impeach a President, could the
Republicans by themselves have convicted the President on the
obstruction of justice charge?
216 Republicans voted for the article of impeachment. 218 was the required vote. The obstruction of justice article would have failed to pass had not at least two Democrats and/or Independents voted along with the GOP for impeachment.
As to the contention that the GOP had enough votes to impeach regardless of what the Democrats did, Mr. Stiles only went on to prove the point of my little essay (Ah, Reading! Another lost art.). Yes, the Republicans might have had to votes to do it all by themselves, if they voted lockstep in a partisan fashion. The very fact that only two of the four articles passed belies Mr. Stiles assertions to the contrary. In fact, the Democrats, who later held a pep rally for the newly-impeached president, proved to be more partisan in their voting than the majority party.
Missives like the one above are the product of years of taxing and spending by liberals. Perhaps, this shall stand as a shining beacon of what has gone wrong and what has to be done.
December 30, 1998:
New Year's Resolutions Needed: Send in what you think Bill Clinton's Resolution for 1999 is or should be. Or send in one for Hillary, Al, Tipper or anyone else in the administration. I'll use some of the better ones next week (and only next week, so don't keep sending them).
There are just three rules: keep them funny, keep them short, and keep them clean. You can send in a list of them if you want, but I'll be quick on the delete key, if necessary.
On Saturday, December 19, 1998, the House of Representatives passed two articles of impeachment against President Bill Clinton. The obstruction of justice charge passed with 221 votes including five Democrat votes, without whom the article of impeachment would have failed. Clinton was also impeached for perjury before the grand jury.
Republican bipartisanship was further in evidence when approximately 50 Republicans voted No on the Abuse of Power charge, while only 2 nonpartisan Democrats voted for the measure. Democrat partisanship was evidenced by their bloc voting and their walking out of the House chamber.
December 18, 1998:
There is something about these impeachment procedings and the bombing of Iraq that has brought out the poet in many of my readers. I will print some of these over the next few days, but I will not print all of them, so please don't feel hurt if yours isn't picked and published.
Poetry is very subjective, making it hit or miss. Also, except for the occassional limerick, poetry tends to take up a lot of space! With the number of readers I have, bandwidth is also a problem. I even hesitated before posting the picture of Ann Coulter on the top of this page. (But, come one, I had to post that!)
I hope you enjoy what gets posted or linked to this page in the coming days.
December 9, 1998:
360 Degree About Face: Rep. Maxine Waters yesterday accused the House Judiciary Committee Chairman Henry Hyde of making a "360 degree about face" on a stand that he took during Iran-Contra. I'm not sure if this leaves us coming or going, but maybe we should get the chairman a skateboard so he can make a 720.
December 3, 1998:
Hillary Clinton says that the problem with teen pregnancy is older men. Hmmmm. Has she had a talk with her husband lately? Or was she talking to him when she made the statement?
Insight Magazine suggests that Clinton's Defense Fund letters to potential donors stated that the allegations against the President were false and that he had had no relationship with Ms. Lewinsky. This could amount to mail fraud.
Rep. John Conyers, the minority head of the Judiciary Committee, had the gall to state that Republicans don't have respect for the rule of law. Mr. Conyers, look in the mirror and repeat: "Perjury" is a violation of the "rule of law", "Censure" is a violation of the "rule of law", . . .
Some time ago, either on this page or my BurkeWords page, I expressed my fear that Clinton would take the rest of us down with him. I wasn't referring to anything in FBI files that he illegally obtained and never fully explained away. I worried that he would start a war. He may have done that today.
If his objectives are truly what he said they were, then he is to be applauded for his actions, however late they are in coming. But the timing suggests to everyone that he's trying to save his own ass.
You can't fight the enemy when you're still thinking with your pants.
You may have wondered why it was that Bill Clinton and his attorneys settled on Monday, August 17th as the date of their deposition. Well, the truth can now be told:
Because they knew that this page would be down next week!
Yes, they have their operatives everywhere and they knew that the way to minimize damage was to testify during the Joke-of-the-Day annual vacation, which is coming next week. Curses! Foiled again.
The link below was incorrect. Here is the correct one: http://www.knfo.com/audio/jc980720.ram
And here is a link to an interview with Sharlene Wilson (referred to below), where she recounts Bill Clinton being so high on cocaine that he fell into a garbage can: http://www.knfo.com/audio/sw980708.ram
We've joked about it here on this page that Clinton has used drugs in his past -- and that the "past" includes everything before today. But the Secret Service men talking about it now to Ken Starr aren't joking!
Follow this link for five minutes of explosive radio dialogue on the George Putnam Radio Show - L.A: http://www.knfo.usa/audio/jc980720.ram
Note: George refers several times to Kathy Wilson, by whom I believe he means Sharlene Wilson, who is currently serving a ridiculous amount of time in prison for a ridiculous charge because she was going to come forward with information against then-Gov. Clinton. (She's one of the lucky ones -- most people who cross Clinton end up dead.)
The endgame is here. It looks like this page may be closing down very soon.
"The Secret Service has failed to establish the need for its
protective function of privilege for Secret Service agents protecting
the President.
This issue should be left up to Congress, to decide whether or not
such a privilege is necessary."
-- from the decision
According to a news update I heard on the radio earlier today, the Senate has passed the marriage-penalty tax cut as an amendment to the humungous tobacco bill. However, they have decided to cap the benefit at $50,000 family income.
Without the benefits of matrimony, one suspects that it wouldn't be considered a "family" limit. But then, unmarried couples "living in sin" get the benefit of lower tax rates.
Do Republicans in the Senate believe that they are kidding anyone by passing this amendment? Two college graduates getting entry-level positions can easily put themselves close to the $50,000. If not, they'll find themselves there soon enough if they apply themselves.
In other words, it won't help anyone except the poor. This is the lowest cap of any tax break ever offered. Maybe the GOP is trying to send out the message, "See, this is sooooo stupid, we should just scrap the tax code altogether."
If that's not what they're planning, then they better not pass this nonsense. Married couples making over $50,000 will see that they are still being penalized when they try to figure out their taxes. And many of them will know that they won't get any relief when the elections come around in November.
I haven't found out Sen. Al D'Amato's position yet, but I will. He's got a battle to keep his seat in New York. It would be a shame if something like this came back to haunt him.
Earlier today, Air Force One disappeared from radar screens over New Jersey, twice!
The bad news is that it reappeared.
One of the last planes to disappear near that vicinity was Flight 800, which suffered a catastrophic engine failure (which will happen when the engines are struck by missiles . . . )
The Supreme Court announced today that Clinton's delaying tactic will go ahead as planned. The next stop for Starr will be the appeals court, a process which will take months. After that, whoever loses will likely appeal to the Supreme Court. The high court leaves for vacation sometime this month and reconvenes the first Monday in October.
Congressional elections are the first Tuesday in November. That could be either very good or very bad for Bill Clinton and Congressional Democrats.
For the record, while some in the liberal media talk up the chances that the Democrats might take back the house, I will say right now in June that when the dust settles in November the GOP will pick up between 20 and 35 seats in the House. Look for the magic number of 60 Senates seats -- it'll be a squeaker that they get there, but they'll get there.
By now, I'm sure everyone has heard of the death of actor/comedian Phil Hartman, victim of a murder-suicide. Hartman was known for many roles and voices, but in the opinion of this page, he'll be long remembered for his skewering portrayal of President Bill Clinton on Saturday Night Live.
Hartman becomes the sixth SNL featured player to pass away. The others were John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Michael O'Donoghue (Mr. Mike), Danitra Vance (the first black female cast member from 85-86), and Chris Farley.
Rest in Peace.
Is it coincidence or not that they same day that Drudge is reporting that the Chinese stole the encryption card from that failed satellite launch some time back, on this same day a communications satellite is spinning into space!
Is this a wonton violation of treaties?
Will more communications dim some?
Is it a laughing matter?
As fans who have been reading this page for a long time know, I will not use jokes that belittle the President's intelligence. Belittle his policies, sure. His honestly, absolutely. His integrity, what integrity?
But I won't call him stupid. Why? Because the chief occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue didn't get there by being a moron. He's called Slick Willie for a reason. You can't have it both ways: either he's slick, clever and devious or a stupid, moronic imbecile. I believe he's the former of the two.
What brings this up? Glad you asked. Right now the President is under attack for the Big One: selling weapons technology to China for donations to the Democratic National Committee. New York Times columnist William Safire has labeled Clinton, the Proliferation President and credits him with starting a new arms race.
The President denies any quid pro quo. He, and others around him, claim that they didn't know anything about what was going on, and that the decisions Clinton made, the ones where he overrode the advice of his own advisors, were purely co-incidental. He portrays himself as just a bumbling country bumpkin from Arkansas who was hoodwinked.
We all know better. He isn't stupid -- he's the most informed man on the planet. I refuse to paint this corrupt President as a moron. Ironically, he has no problem doing it to himself.
Matt Drudge is reporting on his Drudge Report that Betty Currie was on vacation during some of the Monica Lewinsky's visits. Lewinsky, had visited the White House after being released, allegedly to see Ms. Currie and not the President.
It has been reported in today's editions of the Washington Post that Ken Starr has started writing large portions of the report that will go to Congress. Typically, a report would only go to Congress in the event that there is evidence that an impeachable offense has been committed. Stay tuned. Things are looking good.
The First Lady of Country Music, Tammy Wynette, died of a blood clot. Wynette was notably defamed by 1992 by Hillary Clinton who said on 60 Minutes that she wasn't some little woman standing by her man "like Tammy Wynette". Mrs. Clinton later apologized for the remark.
Wynette's other hits included: "Two-Story House", which is a hundred stories shy of the number of tales they tell in the White House, and "D-I-V-O-R-C-E", which can be expected as soon as the Clintons leave office.
Hillary Clinton, the other First Lady, is still in reasonably good health. But you were hoping, weren't you.
They spin and spin so much, you'd think they'd be dizzy by now. Actually, they think that we're so dizzy, we'll believe everything they're saying.
Another woman comes forward and says she was harassed. She "obviously" only did it for the money and it's not true. Her friends recall that she told them about it, but she wasn't traumatized, in fact, she enjoyed it. There, you see, she lying about it. But the Presidential spin doctors said it didn't happen. And even if it did happen, that's okay, because everyone does it. Except Bill Clinton. He doesn't do that. He never does that. Except with Gennifer Flowers. But only once.
Then there's Kathleen Willey. Six months ago, Clinton didn't know who she was, had no recollection of ever meeting her. Willey accuses Clinton of groping her, and, suddenly, he remembers the meeting clearly and nothing improper happened. Apparantly, he remembers all instances of groping females and this wasn't one of them. How else to explain remembering meeting with Willey, but not remmebering her. Then the letters from Willey came out showing Willey to be a "wacko". Too bad that the Clinton team said that no such letters exist when they subpoenaed them months ago. Not that that would be obstruction of justice. Would it?
And the biggest blow to Clinton. A poll of New York City women published in the New York Daily News this past weekend found that 80 per cent of these women believed that oral sex constitutes adultery. This finding dovetailed nicely with the gospel read in Catholic churches across the land: the story of Jesus telling an adultress's accusers that "he who is without sin" should cast the first stone. This is what the Clinton team will tell you when they say it isn't anyone's business but the President's. But they never mention the passage where Jesus tells the woman: "Go, but sin no more."
Of course, according to Bull Clinton, he never sinned in the first place. Except, maybe once, with Gennifer.
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