C. J. Burke's Bill Clinton Joke of the Day -- Other Great Quotes <title></HEAD> <BODY> <H1><EM>Clinton Joke of the Day -- Great Quotes Page</EM></H1> <CENTER> <h2>Capital Gang host Mark Shields: "Kate, why does the President of the United States sit down with a lawbreaker like Bill Gates?" <BR>National Review Washington Editor Kate O'Beirne: "Maybe he feels there's some common ground there, Mark."</h2> <EM>CNN's Capital Gang</EM>, April 8, 2000 <h2>"Don't you news people ever learn? It isn't the mistake that kills you. It's the cover-up."</h2> <BR>Impeached President Bill Clinton, <EM>Radio & Television Correspondents' Dinner</EM>, April 6, 2000 <h2>"Yeah, like covering up ever hurt him.</h2> C. J. Burke, April 7, 2000 <h2>"[T]he vice president declared he would make campaign reform, McCain's cause, his main theme. It is a pledge that carries all the credibility of O.J. Simpson's vow to hunt down his wife's killers."</h2> Mary McGrory, <EM>Washington Post</EM>, March 16, 2000 <h2>"I'm not at all sure that even a callous, irresponsible drug dealer with a 6-year-old in the house wouldn't leave a child trigger lock on a gun."</h2> Impeached President Bill Clinton, <EM>CNN's "Burden of Proof"</EM>, March 7, 2000. <h2> "Please remember that rape is a hate crime when you're pushing for legislation."</h2> Kathrine Prudhomme to Al Gore after a "town hall" meeting where she asked the vice president his opinions of Clinton's rape of Juanita Broaddrick <h2>"I think the Chinese will in fact be bending over backwards to make sure that they run it in a competent and able and fair manner."</h2> Impeached President Bill Clinton, 11/30/99 <BR>finally admitting in public that the Chinese are, in fact, taking over the Panama Canal <BR>which he has previously denied on several occassions <h2>"You know, if he's that delusional maybe he did inhale."</h2> Wayne R. LaPierre Jr., executive vice president of the NRA, <EM>responding to Bill Clinton's claim that he used to be a lifetime member of the NRA</EM> <h2>"I've never seen a president as hysterical, cheaply partisan, and dishonest as Bill Clinton was at his October 14 press conference."</h2> Fred Barnes, column in <a href="http://www.jewishworldreview.com/weekly/standard.html"> <EM>Jewish World Review</EM></a>, 10/20/99 <h2>"[H]e wants to (1) "pay down the debt", (2)extend Social Security, (3)increase funds for after-school free babysitting for working parents, computers, smaller class sizes; (4)put more cops on the beat, (5) expand Medicare to more people (6) expand environmentalism. This all requires money. Lots of money. Where, do you suppose, its going to come from when Clinton also blasted the Republicans for "spending the Social Security surplus?"</h2> Mary Mostert, <EM>Original Sources</EM>, 10/19/99 <h2>"The President said that this was a surprise, the scheduling and the timing of the vote. That's not true. The fact is the vote could not have come to the Senate floor without the unanimous consent of the Democrats in the Senate. They approved the timetable."</h2> Tim Russert, <EM>MSNBC</EM>, 10/14/99 <P> <h2> "The president is a man after my own heart. He knows what that desk in the Oval office is for."</h2> pornographer Larry Flynt, 10/14/99 <P> <h2>" . . . like a couple of drunks who won't leave the bar."</h2> the ever-metaphoric Bill Clinton on the situation in Ireland, 10/08/99 <h2>"This gratuitous insult is a bit rich coming from such a discredited man. At least the couple of drunks he is talking about would be able to keep their trousers up instead of dropping them at every opportunity." </h2> Ian Paisley, Jr., Democratic Unionist Party (Great Britain) <BR><EM>Electronic Telegraph (UK)</EM> and <EM>The Irish Times</EM>, 10/08/99 <P><h2>Fred Barnes: "One of the things I wondered about is, she said there were 10 years in which he was faithful. Now I don't know whether she meant 10 consecutive years or 10 cumulative years. You know, a year here and a year there."</h2> <h2>Brit Hume: "It could be an hour here, an hour there."</H2> <BR><EM>Fox News Channel, "Fox Report"</EM> <STRONG><h2> "The biggest loophole for criminals is the lack of enforcement of our criminal laws that currently exist by our Attorney General and this administration."</H2></STRONG> <BR>Senator Orrin Hatch <STRONG><h2> "I know Ronald Reagan is responsible for the balanced budget. But the American people don't." </h2></STRONG> <BR>Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY), CNN's Crossfire 5/19/99 <P><strong><H2>"There simply is no escaping the fact that the president deliberately violated this court's discovery orders and thereby undermined the judicial system."</H2></STRONG> <br>Judge Susan Webber Wright, citing impeached President Clinton for contempt. <P><STRONG><h2> He is a lecher. I believe that he raped this woman, but after 21 years she couldn't possibly prove it, and that's over and out... He is amoral. So it wouldn't make any difference what you did. I mean, my view was that he should be caned, like in Singapore. And on weekends, put in stocks, and only allowed out Mondays through Fridays. </h2></STRONG><BR> <EM>Former NYC Mayor Edward I. Koch, Wall Street Journal, 3/03/99</EM> <P><STRONG><h2> " I guess the key thing is that over the course of a month, everything we found, although it was limited, did tend to support her version of events. There was nothing that we were able to provide and nothing that the White House provided which blew a hole in the story."</h2></STRONG><BR> <EM>Lisa Myers, MSNBC, 2/24/99, refering to the Juanita Broderick rape story.</EM> <P><STRONG><h2> It would appear we have two paths to success, ladies. Shut up and take it. Or lay back and like it.</h2></STRONG><BR> <EM>Margery Eagan, The Boston Herald, February 23, 1999</EM> <p><STRONG><h2>Some say: "Everybody lies about sex." Everybody urinates every day but, if you do it in a court of law, you will go to jail. </h2></STRONG><BR><EM>Dr. Thomas Sowell</EM>, <a href="http://www.jewishworldreview.com/cols/sowell1.asp"> Jewish World Review</A>, January 20, 1999. <p><STRONG><h3>This does not rise to the level of an impeachment defense. Let's convict and move on. Al Gore needs to get busy doing the work of the country. </h3></STRONG><BR><EM>poster of <a href="http://www.freerepublic.com">Free Republic</a></EM>, January 20, 1999. <p><STRONG><h2>He's a certified liar, a card-carrying liar, and lying is the cancer at the base of the spine of every crime every committed.</h2></STRONG><BR><EM>James Woods</EM> <P><STRONG><h3>"If he had the honor to resign, he would not be in the position to need to." </H3></STRONG><BR><EM>George F. Will</EM> <P><STRONG><h3>"If you have always believed that everyone should play by the same rules and be judged by the same standards, that would have gotten you labeled a radical 50 years ago, a liberal 25 years ago and a racist today." </h3></STRONG><EM>Dr. Thomas Sowell</EM> <STRONG><h2>``Al Gore says that he doesn't want to be a Democrat Dan Quayle, but he is.''</h2></STRONG> <BR><EM>Paul Harvey, Paul Harvey News & Comment, ABC Radio network, 10/6/98</EM> </center> <CENTER> <STRONG><h2>``You do not overturn the results of an American election on a whim.''</h2></STRONG> <BR><EM>Rep. Dick Gephardt</EM> <STRONG><h2>``It's more of a <EM>WHAM!</EM>''</H2></STRONG> <BR><em>C. J. Burke</EM> </center> <P> <center> <STRONG><h3> "It is obviously foolish to expect candor from the man who early in his presidency elevated "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to the status of official policy. "</h3> </STRONG> <BR> W. Russell G. Byers, Philadelphia Daily News, 8/6/98</CENTER> <P> <center> <STRONG><h3> "It Takes a Village to keep a man faithful."</h3> </STRONG> <BR>MSNBC analyst Laura Ingraham, National Review</CENTER> <P> <center> <STRONG><h3> "Clinton has brought us to the brink of nuclear war." </STRONG> </h3><br> <EM>Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan (D-NY), Fox News, 6/7/98</em> </center> <P> <center> <STRONG><h3>"I have no doubt in my mind that the President of the United States is a criminal"</h3><br> </STRONG> <EM>Rep. Charles Rangel (D-NY), Associated Press *</em> </center> <P><font=2>* - The quote is acutally from 1974, but that in no way reflected a biased partisan attack while considering the impeachment case before him.</font> <P> <center> <STRONG><h3>"How is Clinton's second term <BR>like an episode of "Seinfeld"?<BR> It's about nothing."</h3><br> Paul A. Gigot</STRONG>, <EM>Wall Street Journal</EM>, 5/1/98 </center> <P> <center> <STRONG><h3>"Sex is not the one string on the guitar. There are nine more Commandments."</h3><br> Rev. Jesse Jackson</STRONG>, in a column by Maureen Dowd <STRONG><h3>"Don't give me the law. Don't give me facts."</h3> William Ginsburg,</STRONG> attorney for Monica Lewinsky </CENTER> <center> <P><h2>"'Honey, you're not going to believe this...'"</h2> <BR><STRONG>Hillary Clinton,</STRONG> quoting her husband <BR>on the <STRONG>Today</STRONG> show.</EM> <P><h2>If we go to war with <EM><STRONG>Iran</STRONG></EM>, can we have that one?</h2> <br><em><STRONG>Sam Donaldson</STRONG>, trying to get ABC an exclusive war conference, like CNN got in Ohio.</em> <P> <h2>Clinton is a man who thinks international affairs means dating a girl from out of town.</h2> <br><em><STRONG>Tom Clancy</STRONG> on Larry King CNN</EM> <P><h3>Bill Clinton and Al Gore advocating campaign finance reform is like Bonnie and Clyde advocating banking reform.</h3> <BR><EM><STRONG> Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky)</STRONG>, Republican radio address, October 1997.</EM> <h2>"I'll stop smoking when they stop fibbing."</H2> <BR><EM><STRONG>Mel Gibson</STRONG>, when asked about the First Lady's harsh criticism of his smoking in his movie</EM> Conspiracy Theory<em>.</EM> <P> <h2>"[Clinton] interfered with our system of providing health care to the poor."</H2> <BR><EM><STRONG>Rep. Charles Rangel (D-Harlem)</STRONG>, New York Daily News, 8/12/97</EM> <P> <h2>"This is a heavy blow to the poor and uninsured of New York delivered straight from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. It's incomprehensible and shameful."</H2> <BR><EM><STRONG>Rep. Jerrold Nadler (D-Manhattan)</STRONG>, New York Daily News, 8/13/97</EM> </CENTER> <CENTER> <h2>"Congressional Democrats have lost their minds."</H2> <BR><EM><STRONG>Richard Cohen</STRONG>, New York Post, 1/15/97</EM> <BR>Read excerpts for Cohen's column<BR> <EM><a href="cohen.html">Are They Kidding?</A></EM> </CENTER> <P> <CENTER> <h2>"The problem is finding someone<BR> simple enough to believe it."</H2> <BR><EM><STRONG>Lars-Erik Nelson</STRONG>, New York Daily News, 1/17/97</EM> <BR>Read excerpts for Nelson's column<BR> <EM><a href="larserik.html">Tape of Tape sticks Dems</A></EM> </CENTER> <CENTER> <H2>"...an admitted liar ... and the President of the United States ..."</h2> <P><STRONG>James Carville, "Politically Incorrect", 1/7/97</STRONG> <P><font-2><EM>I suppose the first half might refer to Newt, but since Newt never admitting to lying about anything, I wonder just who he could be referring to.</EM> <H2>Mario Cuomo says "You're Out"</h2> <P><STRONG><EM>"The man lied. He got caught. He says, 'I accept the responsibility, but I don't want to pay any price.' You accept the responsibility, you pay the price."</EM></STRONG> <P> <strong>Mario Cuomo, "Meet the Press", 12/22/96</strong> <font=2>He was talking about Newt, of course, but I'm sure that he believes the same rules should apply to all.</font> <P> <H2>David Bonior: "Step Down"</h2> <P> <STRONG><em>"I think [he] ought to step down. We don't need people . . . who lie to Congress."</em></STRONG> <P> <STRONG>David Bonoir, "Late Edition" (CNN), 12/22/96</strong> <font=2>He was talking about Newt, of course, but I'm sure that he believes the same rules should apply to all.</font> </CENTER> <CENTER><STRONG> <P>"We all look forward with great pleasure<BR> to four years of wonderful, inspiring speeches, full of wit,<BR> poetry, music, love and affection --<BR> plus more goddamn nonsense."</STRONG> <P><EM>David Brinkley, November 6, 1996</EM> <P><STRONG>"David, we're still on the air . . ."</STRONG> <P><EM>Peter Jennings, a moment later</EM> <P><STRONG>"So what's wrong with saying the President's <EM> 'full of wit'?"</EM></STRONG> <P><EM>C. J. Burke</EM> <P><STRONG>"What? You didn't know that President Clinton is a murderer?"</STRONG> <P><EM>Norm McDonald, "Saturday Night Live", 11/16/96</EM> </CENTER> <HR> <CENTER> <P><STRONG>"The Glory of the nation rests in the character of her men."</STRONG> <BR> <em>-- Herbert Hoover</EM> <P><STRONG>"Character doesn't matter."</STRONG> <BR><EM>-- Bill Clinton</EM> </CENTER> <P> <HR> <P> <STRONG>Return to <A HREF = "../clinton.html">The Bill Clinton Joke of the Day</A> page.</STRONG> <P> <STRONG>Return to <A HREF = "../index.html">Christopher J. Burke's </A> home page.</STRONG> <P> <HR><ADDRESS>This page is Copyright 1996-8, Christopher J. Burke. All rights reserved.<BR> <EM>Clinfinition</EM> is a trademark of C. J. Burke's Bill Clinton Joke-of-the-Day Page.<BR> </ADDRESS> </BODY> </HTML>