THE KETNOM CHRONICLES, Part 2

When last we heard from KETNOM (he of the ALLCAPS), he said

So this is my last effort to straighten you out (a dead issue) I don't want to play any more
F[expletive deleted] YOU ALL AND GOOD BYE!!!!

Well, I would say "KETNOM'S BACK!" -- except he's never gone away. Within an hour of his signoff, he sent a couple of missives containing slights against Dan Quayle. I ignored these little potshots -- after all, it could have been the fault of my mail program that they arrived after he said he wouldn't write to me any more.

I mean, KETNOM couldn't be so shallow and weak-willed that he would start writing to me again right after he said that he was done? Of course not. He waited a week.

I, on the other hand, have honored his wishes. I haven't responded because, by his own admisssion, he's done with me and anything I might have to say would probably just annoy him. For that reason, this collection of e-mail, unlike the original is totally one-way.

But that's okay. Because his words speak better against him than mine could. As before, his letters are presented as received and have not been doctored in any way -- except, of course, for the elimination of some naughty words. So let's begin:

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: WOW, MY OWN SECTION!!!
PostedDate: 04/10/99 12:05:02 AM

If you weren't such a bunch of sc[expletive deleted]s, I'd be honored. How cum you closed it down???
One of your fellow a[expletive deleted]s has sent me some hate-mail.. What a moron!!!!!

Actually, I never closed anything down. I did set up the original Ketnom page because it was too large to leave on the main Joke of the Day page. And I removed Ketnom's domain from his email address shortly after receiving and reading his letter. Shows you that I care.
-- CJB

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: MY CHRONICLES
Date: 04/10/99 11:35:01 PM

Yeah... I have to admit you did turn out looking pretty sad on your own turf, but what the hell, you'll get over it. Moral degenerates always do. Should you wish to continue this losing proposition, for you of course... make it worth my while and I'll think about it. I didn't get rich by doing anything for nothing.

"Note: As hard as it is to believe, the following correspondence is real. Nothing has been fictionalized for your reading enjoyment. It only makes the situation sadder."

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: BURKE THE BUSHWHACKER
Date: 04/13/99 12:24:05 AM
CC: frankda@msn.com

This is to all readers of C.J. Burke's web site. You may never see this, but I will write it anyway.
C.J. Burke is a coward. He is a spineless coward because he goads people by printing garbage, filled with venom, to get similar reactions from the great majority of fair-minded Americans. He takes those reactions and twists them to fit his own made-up scenarios of what is right and what is wrong. I fell for it, and not aware he was assembling my e-mails for publication, I spewed forth with venom of my own. We never look good when we speak from anger and I failed to get my message across. I apologize for my language, but not for the content. I offered to continue with our verbal sparring, but, so far Burke is silent.
Like all unhappy political bigots, he sings a one note tune that comes out... "Bill Clinton is evil", no matter what other words are substituted. His joke of the day is nothing but a mask to hide his self induced delusional hatred of the American peoples choice for the man to lead this great nation. Burke and his cronies blather on about the laws broken by Clinton's actions, while completely ignoring the will and wants of the people. Burke himself commits no crime in doing this, free speech is his right, but the elected bigots in the House and Senate committed their own high crimes by their single-minded purpose of illegally trying to unseat the President of the United States. We all know the end result... a red-faced Senate had no choice but to dismiss charges that could not stand up even in traffic court.
But their crime of not doing the job they were elected to do bothered them not one bit. "Screw the public.. we want to get Clinton", was all that seemed to consume their every waking thought.
Did Bill Clinton break the law?? Sure he did; his most ardent supporters admit this. Did Bill Clinton lie?? Sure he did. Is Bill Clinton devoid of moral scruples?? Probably so.
But the questions every one of us asked him, or herself, is.... Did these sins hurt the nation? Have I never lied, especially about something I am ashamed of?? Is Bill Clinton not a very nice person, but still trying his best to be a good president?? Has Ken Starr spent forty million dollars and four years investigating the Clintons and come with nothing but this??? And is what he has found suspect because it reeks of a group of "Clinton Haters" conspiring to remove him from office??? Is this web linking Starr, Goldberg, Tripp, Jones, and several other influential right-wing bigots starting to come together??? Am I fed up with this whole sordid mess that really is none of anybodys business??? Am I also unwilling to believe what might be true additional charges, because of their lies as well as Clintons???
These and maybe a dozen other questions were answered by 75% of the country... "drop this witch hunt and get back to work", came out loud and clear!!!
Did they listen?? No. Instead, they made us angry. Suddenly we find out the men leading the charge are guilty of many of the same things they charge the President with!!! Larry Flynt, not exactly a model citizen, puts a bounty up for dirt, and it starts a stampede. The "Old Penguin" has a youthful indiscretion at 43??!! Another right to life backer bigot has an abortion in his past and lied about it...
God only knows what else was brushed under the rug in the mad scramble to hide the truth and a rash of resignations. Nothing proved the old addage about glass houses better.

I could go on and if "Burke the Bigot" lets me debate him on a fair footing, I will be back. But don't count on it. Cowards don't fight fair.
Ketnom

Oh, where to begin? With his factual errors? With his admission of guilt and pardon of punishment? No, let's start with my previous note. Did you notice where I said "after receiving and reading"? That's because the messages above as well as the next couple below arrived while my bug was going through my family and my email went unread and my webpage (you can go back and check the archives) was updated sparsely. Trust me, I was far from silent -- I was wretching, but not because I had just read Ketnom's letters.

So even had I wished to respond -- I never had the chance! I didn't even know he had started writing again. But after reading his total change of tone and attitude in just a few messages, I found it much more enlightening to continue with his previous wishes (and my own) and just leave it alone.

I would like to add that I printed several of the original Ketnom Chronicle letters before he signed off the first time while he was still writing. And a check of my Old News would show many readers' letters published.

This letter did pick up my post-virus feelings when I read things like the will and wants of the people are more important than the law of the land. Or that the GOP "illegally" followed constitutional procedures to impeach Bill Clinton and that this was a "high crime".

From: KETNOM@.......
To: shenry@mediaresearch.org
Subject: BURKE THE BUSHWHACKER
Date: 04/13/99 10:36:40 PM
CC: cjburke@io.com

Subj: BURKE THE BUSHWHACKER
Date: 99-04-13 00:24:05 EDT
From: KETNOM
To: cjburke@io.com
CC: frankda@msn.com

Note: A copy of the previous letter in its entirety had been deleted for space reasons. I don't know who frankda@msn.com is. I haven't written to him to find out why he's being cc'ed on this letter. Ketnom never elaborated. I never asked.

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: THE VILLAGE IDIOT OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY
Date: 04/14/99 12:12:30 AM

Hi New Age Commie;
You support this moron, and you wonder why I call you an a[expletive deleted]e???!!!! I'm being too kind.

[Note: More shots at Dan Quayle, including many quotes attributed to but never actually said by Mr. Quayle, deleted. My friends love that "Commie" stuff -- they couldn't believe it was applied to me of all people.]

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: MORE ON THE VILLAGE IDIOT
PostedDate: 04/14/99 12:31:21 AM

The Quayle Quote File Hall of Fame

[Note: More shots at Dan Quayle, including many quotes attributed to, but never actually said by, Mr. Quayle, deleted. He is fixated on the subject, isn't he?]

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: C.owardly J.erk B.lowhard
Date: 04/16/99 12:38:58 PM

Well burke, you spineless a[expletive deleted]e, you have proved me right. You don't have the b[expletive deleted]s to go one on one in a fair fight. Sooooo, I will have to take the next step and crush you and your ignorant drivel by finding another venue.
Further consideration made me realize you probably don't have much of a following; having had only only one [1] e-mail from one of your demented supporters.
Why should I give you any credibility by taking you on??
See you in the funny papers, j[expletive deleted]f.

Why indeed? And yet he still does.
Ketnom never noticed that I removed the domain from his email address to prevent readers from writing to him. I, on the other hand, have gotten enough email to justify creating this page.

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: Ketnom strikes again
Date: 06/14/99 11:06:31 PM

Hey Burke, my site will be opening soon, and guess what, I'm not going to even mention you. But I see your tired old crap is still unchanged and the free advertising from you will help. Look for Ketnom's PoliticsPage comming soon. Oh by the way, on my site I sell useful stuff, not the worn out garbage you pawn off. See you in the funny papers.. you creep

If this is "free advertising", he can have it. I don't see how anyone will jump from here to his page when I don't have a link here to his page -- which at the time of this letter didn't even exist.
And I'm not running this page to sell things, but it would be foolish not to take advantage of this large audience while I'm taking advantage of the booming auction situation.

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: New Joke
Date: 06/14/99 11:12:38 PM

Guess who Bill Clinton called up to replace Monica and do her special favors to him.?? The new Pipe Cleaner is none other than CJ Burke!! According to Clinton, Burke does a better Job... No spills...!

I guess this was the open, fair debate he was looking for? But if we have to broach this subject, tell me, dear readers, which of the two of us seems to long for this position?

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: Burkepuke
Date: 06/22/99 11:33:24 PM
HEY....
Contantly J[expletive deleted]f Bill; Thanks for keeping up my Chronicle section.. many who visit my new site congratulate me for taking on rectum-doughnuts like you. Have you found it yet?? There's a tribute to you.... negative of course.
Funny thing about your answers to me everyone mentions... proves you don't predict the future too well.
Keep looking.. you are so stupid you just might stumble over it some day because your limited brain will search in all the wrong places
Ketnom

There's a reason for me to search for it? And you have to wonder at the scope and popularity of a site that you can't find. I guess you changed your mind from when you said you weren't going to mention me on your new age...
... like when you said you'd play along and then called me a "bushwhacker" ...
... or when you said you'd had it and done debating ...

And the only prediction I made was that ground troops were on the way and that body bags would come after that. Thankfully, the nonsense ended before major casualities, but I was right on the ground troops being on the way.
Of course, with "your limited brain", you might not have realized that the helicopters that were sent over there were operated by the Army, not the Air Force, and that the Army is composed of "ground troops". Even your hero, Bill Clinton, tried to float a trial balloon lie that he never said that ground troops were off the table. Now there was a good one. Proof positive that you can't believe anything the man says.

From: KETNOM@.......
Subject: Credit???????
PostedDate: 06/27/99 09:50:14 PM If I had your credits I'd be too ashamed to list them. Oh thanks for removing my chronicles it helped my site traffic by 22%.. See, I predicted you would... what a s[expletive deleted]k!!

My family went out to eat recently and the food was late. So the waitress told us that our meal was free. My wife was delighted and said, "well, she'll get a bigger tip." Yeah, so what's 22% of nothing.

"Removing"? Sorry, never happened. The Chronicle has been continuously posted. It's curious how I've helped your traffic when I'm not linked to your site. If you're linked to me, you're increasing my traffic, not the other way around.

From: KETNOM@.......
Date: Sat, 3 Jul 1999 00:06:11 EDT
Subject: Ketnom 2?

What are you going to do... make it up??

What's to make up? I'm just collating.

From: KETNOM@.......
Date: 07/08/99 12:19:32 AM GMT
Subject: K2

Dear Chris;
I know we've been friends a long time now, but I just can't do this any longer. When you said your site needed a boost, I ageed to send these letters to help out; but this fraud has to stop. It's not fair to fool people like this. I'm sorry, even if it ends our friendship I can't do it any longer
Regards
Howard

Nice try, Ken.
Of course, you can't substantiate this silly little claim.
And I for some reason don't believe that you'll keep this promise to stop writing.
You could pull a Clinton and say that you only promised to stop some mystical "fraud" that you're alluding to but not to stop what you're doing now.
Time will tell.
By the way, why is it that I doubt highly that your name is "Howard". Should I expect email now saying "Bababooey"?