[Ranma] "No Need for Ranma!" (1/?)
By Henry J. Cobb
$Id: no_need_for_ranma1.txt,v 1.12 1997/04/26 04:24:16 hcobb Exp $

The Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko
Takahashi.  No infringement of her copyrights is intended.

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Prologue.

---------- Eleven years ago.

They were running away with daddy's cart, I chased after.

Ranchan made a funny face at me, "Nyaaiii!, you can't catch us!"

"Come back here, you jackass!"  I raised my arm to shake at him,
stumbled and fell, hurting my knee.  I cried, just like a little girl,
in frustration and pain.

Suddenly, I felt small arms around me.  It was Ranchan, he had hopped
off the cart.  Suddenly, it didn't feel so bad.

"Please don't cry Ut'chan, please be OK."

His father tried to pry us apart, but Ranchan wouldn't let go.

"OK Ranma, you win.  I'll try to raise you both."  He lifted us together
and placed us both on the cart.

Ranchan taught me so much that day, about commitment.

---------- Six years ago.

The old man just lay there, like a lump, gently sobbing.  He probably
blamed himself for all this.  If so, he was right, it was all his fault,
but we had no time for this.

I stepped over some housecats.  They seemed to be physically OK, just
frightened more than half to death.  I didn't blame them, that had been
quite a shock.

I wiped the blood out of my eyes, my scratches weren't that bad, and
stepped up to the old man.

"Nodoka's gonna kill me.  Nodoka's gonna kill me." He repeated over and
over.

"Shut up!" I shouted at him.  "Now, did you ever tell her about me?"

I repeated the question a few times, gently kicking the old goat and
finally he answered.

"No, she knows about Ranma's other engagement, to one of the Tendo
daughters", He sniveled, "I never found the right words to tell her
about you."

"Good, then she'll never notice if I disappear."

"What?"

"I'll be your son.  But, promise me one thing."

"What?"

"Please, let's never have fish again."

For you Ranchan, I did it all for you.  I did all the things you
couldn't do.

---------- Four weeks ago.

Jusenkyou at last.  Just a bunch of springs with bamboo poles.  Fairly
desolate, it matched my heart, broken twice by kind hearted boys.

Shut up, I thought to myself, it wasn't Ranchan's fault or Ryouga's
either.  Neither one could help it.

"So, this is it, the Nanniichuan?"  I asked our guide.

"Yes, is very tragic story of boy who fall in spring..."

"Yes, I've heard it.  What kind of boy does it turn you into?"

"This generic template type spring being.  It turn whoever get dunked
into male human like they would be born as if they born woman or animal
was.  To the young master, his father or myself no effect there would be
being."

"Perfect, this will do."  I looked down into the spring.  You won't heal
my broken heart will you?  But you're just what I need, for Ranchan.

"Are you sure that you want to do this?"  The old man asked.

"Yes Pop, as sure as anything.  This is the only way to keep my promises
and yours."

"Surely the young master will not be changed by this spring.  Unless,
the young master already has a curse?"

"No, this is my first."  With that I grabbed a double handful of the
water and splashed my face.  And I was changed.

Pulling out a mirror, I studied my new face.  It was almost exactly the
same as my old face.

I was finding it difficult to breathe, so I unfastened my shirt and
removed the binding cloth.  I didn't need it anymore.

"Why young master wear cloth so tightly around his chest?"

"I uh, had some bruised ribs.  They're OK now."  I turned away from the
two of them to adjust my clothes and check myself out.  "Yes, it's all
here.  Come'on Pop, it's time to see mother."

---------- Now.

Thursday morning, The Saotome residence.  This is where I had wanted to
come, the woman I had wanted to meet, as my new mother-in-law.

My own mother died before I met Ranchan.  That was why my father was so
willing to foist me off on Genma.

Now I had a new mother, and I'd best watch myself around her.  One slip
might not mean my life, but it would cost hers and Genma's.  I'm not
going to let that happen Ranchan.  I'll play the part and make her proud
of you.

"Come'on pop, be brave."  I pulled him along to the door and I knocked
and waited.

"Hello?"  She looked so much like Ranchan.

"Mother!" I hugged her.

"Ranma?!?"  She replied with her own hug.

"Yes mother, I'm back."

"Ranma, let me get a good look at you."  Nodoka held me at arms length
and studied me.  A flicker of doubt crossed her face, then she accepted.
It had been more than a decade since she'd seen her son.  And the photos
we'd sent recently had of course been mine.

"Dear, I was a fool to doubt you."  She addressed Genma.  "You've raised
our son so fine and manly.  Please come in, both of you."

Nodoka brought the tea and cakes from the kitchen.  "It's been so long.
Surely you could have found some time to visit.  It feels like you two
have been avoiding me."

"We have mother."  Genma gave a quick start at my reply.  "We had to.
We couldn't let anything distract us from the art.  But now, I'm ready.
I'm ready to see to the second part of the promise."

"The combining of the two schools?  The Tendo daughters?"  She asked,
"We could go over right now and meet them."

"No mother, please give me a few days to rest and gather my courage."

"My brave son is afraid?"

"Yes I am mother.  I've never been around girls.  I don't know anything
about them."  Genma made a soft choking sound at that.  "I need your
help now, to teach me what to do.  Perhaps we could start by talking
about them?"

"Well, as you know, Soun has three daughters..."

"Did you get the photographs of them mother?"

"Why yes, just a second", she returned with a few photos, "Now the
oldest one, Kasumi, well the son of my close friend is interested in
her, so we'll skip her by.  And the youngest one, Akane, is something of
a tomboy, practicing martial arts and always getting into fights.  But,
the middle daughter, Nabiki, she's exactly the very model of a proper
young lady."

"What sort of things is she interested in?"

"Well, she's always reading and she's very good with math."

"She sounds like a bookworm."

"She's just studious.  She's also interested in fashion and she's always
got friends coming by to get her advice."

"What sort of martial arts does she study?"

"She doesn't.  I told you, she's a proper young lady."

"But mother, the whole point of this engagement is to combine the two
schools.  How can I do that, if I don't marry another martial artist?"

"Akane can pass on what she knows to her nephews.  You came to me son,
for my advice on girls and my suggestion is Nabiki.  After all, what
sort of mother would a martial artist be?"

Friday morning, I set out early for "jogging".  I went to the Tendo
residence and waited.

A few minutes later Nabiki and Akane set out in their school uniforms,
I followed discretely.

A few blocks later, Akane spun around suddenly and I had to duck behind
a corner.

"What is it Akane?"  Her sister asked.

"Oh, it's nothing Nabiki"

The pair continued on their way.

When they reached Furinkan High, Akane waited just inside the gate,
while Nabiki passed unnoticed through the mob of gathered boys.

The schoolboys rushed Akane and I was about to leap in and cover her
retreat, but she just stood there until they reached her, then
counterattacked.

With her attackers scattered at her feet, Akane snapped around and I had
to drop out of sight again, then she turned to face a tall boy with a
bokutou.

"Be ye prepared, Akane Tendo?"

"I am, Upperclassman Kuno."

As they fought, this Kuno seemed to have a slight advantage over Akane,
especially with his greater reach magnified by his weapon against her
bare hands.  He did not press the attack on several occasions when he
had the better of her, and she finally managed to land a knockout blow.

She ran inside the school doors, just before the bell.

That afternoon I registered at Furinkan, then went shopping with Mrs
Saotome.

Saturday afternoon, the Saotomes and I arrived at the Tendo residence.
I wore Genma's old Kimono.  He and and his wife were dressed somewhat
less formally.

A slightly younger man than Genma met us at the door.  He wore a black
gi.  For a moment I feared that we had come to the wrong house, despite
the sign, but it turned out that Soun seldom wore anything else.

"Genma!  My old friend, it has been too long.  And Mrs Saotome, it is
good to see you again today.  And you must be Ranma.  This way please,
my boy, there's somebody I'm sure you're dying to meet."

Three girls waited in the living room, in Kimonos.  Kasumi seemed
relaxed and at ease.  Akane looked miserably uncomfortable in what must
have been a very unfamiliar garment.  Nabiki studied me with
a calculating gaze.

"Daughters."  Soun gestured for them to sit on one side of the dinning
room table.  "This is my old friend Genma Saotome, his wife Nodoka and
his son Ranma.  And these are my three daughters, Kasumi, Nabiki and
Akane."

I presented the cakes I had brought and handed each of the girls a rose.

"As you can see Ranma, I have three lovely daughters, but you must pick
only one."

"It must be Nabiki."  Nodoka stated.

"No, Akane is the better choice!"  Genma interrupted.  "Soun, the school
requires that the two martial artists combine their skills!"

"That is true Genma."

"No, I..."  Akane looked even more uncomfortable.

"Yes."  Nabiki spoke only loud enough to draw all eyes to her, as she
looked modestly down at the table.  "Yes, I'm the only available choice.
Akane is shy about it, but she already has a suitor."

"WHAT?"  The rest of her family asked in unison.

"Yes, the handsomest boy at Furinkan High, Tatewaki Kuno."

"Nabiki, how could you!"  Akane screamed, tears in her eyes, she rose
and faced her sister with clenched fists.  Then Akane ran upstairs and
slammed a door after her.

"I knew she didn't want to say anything about it yet, but it was best to
bring it up now, before a mistake was made."

What was Nabiki playing at, that hadn't seemed a loving couple to me
yesterday.  Best to get back to the tattered remains of the plan.  "But
Nabiki, I hardly know you, how can we formalize our engagement now?"

"True, we can afford to wait a while."

"Soun, would it be too much of a burden, if my son was to stay here for
a while, while he got to know your daughters?"  Genma asked.

"No Genma old friend, it would be no problem at all."

I allowed myself to relax a tiny fraction.  Staying over at the Tendo's,
slight mistakes were less likely to prove fatal.

Sunday morning, I practiced in the Tendo Dojo.  Soun and Genma played
Shogi on the porch, while Kasumi and Nodoka prepared lunch.  Nabiki was
in her room, reading manga.  She didn't seem to show much interest in
her fiancee, but at least the Saotomes seemed to be happy.

Akane entered the Dojo, in her gi.  "So Ranma, you know Kempo?"

"A little", I replied.

"Would you like to have a practice match, for fun?"

"I would be delighted Akane."

We bowed then went at it.

"I take it you're not pleased about this Kuno guy your sister
mentioned."  I threw a quick punch and studied Akane's dodge.

"Yeah, well, he's a bit of a jerk."

I parried Akane's kick, to get some idea of the force behind it.

"Why did she say that, then?"  She threw three punches at me, which I
sidestepped.

"Nabiki's just that way.  Don't worry, I'll get her back.  Urk!"

I had reached past Akane's defenses to grab her by the arm and throw her
at a pile of mats.  She seemed to fall badly.  "Are you OK, Akane?"

"Don't worry about me.  Worry about yourself!"  She charged in and began
a flurry of combination moves.

I considered a footsweep, but given how clumsily she fell I decided
against it and settled on a series of punches, each narrowly missing her
face.

Suddenly Akane stopped and looked at me angrily.  "Why are you holding
back?"  She accused me.

"I wouldn't want to hurt you in a practice match."

"Don't patronise me!"  She stormed out of the Dojo.

At lunch, Nabiki sat next to me, Genma and his wife to my other side,
then the other two sisters, Soun completing the circle.

"Nabiki", Nodoka addressed her, "living here with Kasumi has spoiled
you.  You'll need to learn to cook, in order to become a proper wife."

"Why yes, auntie Saotome, and Akane too."  Nabiki smiled at her younger
sister.  "Not that she'll be cooking much herself, but she'll need to
oversee the servants at the Kuno mansion."

Akane fumed, then thought of something.  "Oh, auntie Saotome, could you
please teach me how to oversee Nabiki?"

"I could teach both girls how to make okonomiyaki",  I offered.

"What do you know about okonomiyaki, Ranma?"  Nodoka asked.

"It's just something I picked up in the field."  I hastily replied.

	Henry J. Cobb	hcobb@slip.net          http://www.io.com/~hcobb