[Ranma] "Onna-Phobia" (2/?) By Henry J. Cobb $Id: onnaphobia2.txt,v 1.4 1997/04/20 16:55:41 hcobb Exp $ The Ranma 1/2 characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. No infringement of her copyrights is intended. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- My name is Akane Tendo and my father and sisters have forced what must be the world's stupidest engagement on me. First of all, Ranma Saotome is afraid of girls. And yet, he turns into a girl and to top it all off, I let her sleep with me. That last but is the stupidest part of all, because while fear of girls turns Ranma into one, sleep restores his original gender. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "I'm really very sorry about Saturday night Akane." I pretended not to hear Ranma, walking on the fence beside me, on the way to school, Monday morning. "S-She doesn't know about me. S-She's just an ordinary g-g-girl. My other side's a lot happier. Don't worry, my other part didn't mean anything about it. It only likes boys." "And what do you like? Do you like boys too?" Ranma backed up a step on the fence. "No, I don't, not that way." "Life must be hell for you. Serves you right pervert!" "I'm not a pervert. I just can't help what I am." "I didn't say it was your fault that you're a pervert." He followed in silence after that. My best friend was waiting for us at the schoolgate, in the proper uniform for a boy at Furinkan Koukou. She's not quite as strange as Ranma, but it'll be fun to see how they interact. "Ut'chan!" Ranma leapt down from the fence and ran to hug Ukyou. "Ran-chan!" Her face lit up as she heartily returned the embrace. "You know each other?" I asked. "Yes Akane, we met in Junior High. It's so good to see you again Ran-chan." "You don't seem to have any problem relating to Ukyou, Ranma." "No, of course not. Ut'chan's my best pal." "Ukyou is a girl." I announced. Ranma looked nervously at Ukyou for a second then turned to me. "D-don't be silly Akane." "You seem to know about Ran-chan's little problem. What has he done to you, that you'd try to hurt him so?" "Ranma is my fiancee." I thought Ukyou would see the humor in that, but instead she looked like she'd just taken a kick to the gut. "Fiancee?" "What's the matter Ut'chan? Were you and Akane planning to... Don't worry we didn't agree to the engagement, it's just something our fathers came up with. If you and Akane want to get married, I'll support you all the way!" Ranma, why do you keep doing this to me? Well, at least things can't get any worse. "NEVER!" On second thought.... "Never! Underclassman Kuonji, I will never accept your engagement to the fair Akane!" Tatewaki approached with his bokutou. "It's their choice!" Ranma stepped up to the taller boy. "And who might you be?" "I am Ranma Saotome, master of the school of anything goes martial arts." "Stand aside. This matter only concerns the underclassman and myself." "I will never let you hurt Ut'chan!" "So be it. I Tatewaki Kuno, the blue thunder of Furinkan High have done all that honor will allow to spare your life." Ranma took Tatewaki faster than I could see. Apparently he was very talented, when facing a male opponent. "Ran-chan, could you excuse us for a moment?" Ukyou turned and whispered to me. "Akane, I thought you said you hated boys?" "I do." "Then why are you going along with this engagement?" "Because my father insists." "But, he can't force you, if you have another engagement, right?" "I guess not. But, how would another engagement keep me from having to put up with a boy?" "Use Ranma's idea. Let's announce our engagement." "WHAT!" "Think about it. Ranma is assured that I'm not a girl and the pressure from Kuno and your father is removed." "Yeah, I guess I've been a bit of a jerk about Ranma. If he's happier thinking of you as a boy that's OK. I'll do it. My father can't blame me for ignoring my duty." Ukyou held out her hand to me and I took it. "Yes Ran-chan, we're engaged, but we're trying to keep it quiet." "I understand Ut'chan. I'm sorry I came between you two. I'm so happy for both of you." Then I noticed that a crowd of schoolgirls were watching us. "Engagement? Akane, we thought you hated boys! And now you've snatched Ukyou, the cutest boy in school!" In class, Ranma got the seat behind Ukyou, who sat to my left. At lunch, Nabiki joined the three of us at the cafeteria. "What's this about your engagement sis?" "Yes, it's true. Ukyou and I are much more than friends. I'm sorry, but Kasumi or you will have to take Ranma." Nabiki made a poking gesture at Ranma, and he scooted his chair back. "I really don't think so." After school Ukyou walked with Ranma and me. "I think we'd best tell my father first. Ran-chan, you've never met him, have you? Why don't you tag along?" As we started out, she asked him. "Ran-chan, why did you disappear from that boy's school we were at?" "I couldn't stand the way you and Ryouga would fight over my g-, other side. I ran off to China." "To China? That must have been interesting." "Yeah, I guess." Ranma shuddered. Ukyou was interested in Ranma's girl side? Did this mean she was really serious about our engagement? The hell her father had put her through, making her always act like a boy. Did she think she was a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'd never heard her talk about girls that way, but not about boys either. As we stepped into her father's okonomiyaki shop, Ukyou said. "Father, there's somebody I'd like you to meet." There weren't any customers in the shop at the moment and so Mr Kuonji wiped his hands and turned to us. "This is my old friend Ranma Saotome from junior high, he's moved back here recently." "Pleased to meet you." "And you know my friend Akane? Well, we've decided to get engaged." "Engaged?" Pure joy spread across the ogre's face. "At last you're acting like a real man. Is this really true?" "Yes, Mr Kuonji, you see we--" He cut me off. "No, from now on you must call me father, Akane. You're so sweet and kind and pretty, just like the daughter I never had." As he hugged me to him, I looked over at Ukyou. She had such misery on her face. Now, I saw that I was trapped. If I backed down, her father would simply drag in other girls to engage to his "son". For her sake, I had to keep with it. "Come, let me fix something for you. Please tell me all about it." "Well father, we had to act now because Akane and Ranma's fathers are trying to get them engaged." "And what's your opinion about this Ranma?" "If Ukyou and Akane are happy together, I'm happy for them." "I guess that's OK then." "Yes, but now we need to go explain it to their fathers." "Do you need my help?" "No father, I think we can handle it." Ukyou stopped to pick up a rose and some cakes on the way back. "We'd best make this look good." "What!" Father screamed. "Yes daddy, it's true. I'm sorry I haven't told you before." He collapsed sobbing on to the table. "Now Soun, you should be happy for Akane." Genma placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "And you have two other lovely daughters." Kasumi just sat there, pale as the mist. Nabiki looked at her older sister, gave me a look that promised vengeance at a later date and said. "OK." Father continued to cry. "OK, OK, I'll do it father. I'll marry Ranma." Soun leapt up and hugged Nabiki. "You'd do this for your father? You make me so happy Nabiki!" Tuesday morning, Ukyou came by to pick me up for class. "You'd best wait for your fiancee Nabiki." I said on the way out the door. On the way Ukyou said. "We'd best take this slow. Father will insist that I get you an engagement ring. It's what we have to do to be proper fiancees. Uhmp!" Ukyou had walked into a boy turning the corner. The boy was dressed in rough clothes and had a yellow and black bandana tied around his head. "Ukyou Kuonji, and your fiancee?" He turned towards me and suddenly the joy drained from his face. He turned back to Ukyou. "Ukyou, what have you done with the red-haired girl?" "I don't know what you're talking about Ryouga." Ukyou replied. Henry J. Cobb hcobb@slip.net http://www.io.com/~hcobb