[AMS] [UY] "Urusei Megamisama!" (1/?) Chapter One: "Obnoxious Wish." By Henry J. Cobb $Id: urusei_megamisama1.txt,v 1.2 1997/11/29 22:29:10 hcobb Exp $ The Ah! Megamisama! characters and situations are the creation of Kosuke Fujishima. The Urusei Yatsura characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. No infringement of their copyrights is intended. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sixteen year-old Ataru Moroboshi stormed into his house. "I'm home!" Nobody answered. "I guess mom's out shopping. That deranged monk! He pushes me into the river and then says ``This day you will encounter death, may Buddha have mercy on your soul''. He outta be deflocked or something. As if I'd kill myself just because Shinobu dumped me. She hasn't dumped me, she's just upset. She'll get over it. I know what I need to get over this rotten day, a girl." Ataru pulled a small black book from his pocket and flipped to a random page and then lifted the receiver of the phone and dialed a number. Unfortunately, he was careless and got one of the digits wrong. Perhaps it was the way the book had dried after his dunking. Perhaps it was fate. "Hello..." A girl's voice answered the line. "Hello, uh," Ataru squinted at his own handwriting. "Michiru?" "...You have reached the Goddess Relief Helpdesk. I'll be right over to consult on your problem." That was a new one on Ataru. He stared at the dead handset. The single, wilted flower in the vase on the phone table began to turn around. Ataru hung up the phone and bent over to get a closer look into the vase. The flower spun around faster and faster. Ataru couldn't see what was causing it, but somehow some sort of vortex was opening up in the middle of the vase. Suddenly Ataru was forced onto his back on the floor. A sixteen year-old girl was standing over him, in a white robe with red trim. Her skirt was cut short in front, above her knees and Ataru stared up it at her pink panties as a trickle of blood dripped from his nose across his face. "What are you?" She asked, then unslung her hammer and knocked him on the forehead as she stepped back. "You Hentai!" "Ouch! What did you do that for?" Ataru stood up while rubbing the knot. "Here." The girl handed him a card, then took out a pocket computer. "My, you are a naughty boy Ataru Moroboshi! It looks like it's coal in your stocking again this year. I wonder how you qualify for a wish?" She tossed her long black hair back and looked at him critically with her dark brown eyes. She had strange blue markings on her forehead and cheeks. Ataru read the card. "You're a goddess?" "Yes, I'm Skuld. My sister normally handles this but she's off on maternity leave. So what's your wish?" "Wish?" "Yes, I'm from the Goddess Relief Helpdesk. We grant wishes to worthy mortals, but somehow you slipped through. You get one wish. Looking at your record here, I'd say it's for a girl. Please forgive me if I forgo the usual mind reading, as I just had lunch." This was obviously a plot by Megane to get Ataru in more trouble with Shinobu. Not that Megane wanted Shinobu himself, he just loved causing Ataru trouble. "Come on, I haven't got all day." Ataru looked at the girl again. She was slender, but very lovely. What he'd seen of her legs was perfection. He wanted to see more of her. OK, he'd play along. "I wish that you'd be my girlfriend forever!" "Ha! I closed that loophole years ago!" "No good eh, OK, let me think..." Ataru bowed his head in concentration as he thought of all the girls he knew. Somehow none of them really measured up to Shinobu. "But your wording is a little different from what I was expecting... Wah!!!" Skuld began to spin around and glow in midair. "Skuld?" Ataru stood there transfixed. A beam of light shot to the hallway ceiling from Skuld's forehead and she collapsed into Ataru's arms. She recovered and shoved away from him. "I have to make a call now!" Skuld rushed to the phone and dialed a twenty digit number. "Hello, about that wish that was just made... What do you mean it's been entered into the system already? Well cancel it! DADDY!" Skuld slammed the phone down. "If you'll excuse me, I've got to go do something!" She dived at the vase as a vortex formed, but she was expelled and landed on Ataru. "I can't teleport away!" She dialed the phone again and waited then hung up. "He's not answering! Wait, I know who to call!" She dialed another number. "Hello sis, I'm in an awful fix here at..." She read the street address from her computer, then gave Ataru's phone number. "...could you call or come by as soon as you get in? I know this is a difficult time for you, but this is real important." "Uh, could I get you something miss? Tea or something?" "It's the least you could do!" Ataru brought the tea as Skuld waited by the phone in the hall. Skuld sniffed suspiciously at her cup before taking a sip. The doorbell rang. Skuld rushed to the door and yanked it open. "Hello?" A sixteen year old girl stood there, she had shoulder length auburn hair and her brown eyes were expanded even larger than usual. She wore dark shorts and a t-shirt with a stripe around it. "Shinobu!" Ataru walked past Skuld. "You've come back to me." "Yeah, uh who's she?" Shinobu pointed at Skuld. "Uh, this is my cousin Skuld." "Skuld, that's an unusual name?" "Yes, she's uh Korean. She just dropped by here on her way to a religious festival, that's why she's dressed the way she is. Come in, come in!" Ataru guestured for Shinobu to enter. "Nice to meet you Skuld." "Pleased to meet you." Skuld took out her pocket computer and started typing away. "Shinobu Miyake?" "Yes?" "I'd stay away from this guy, he's nothing but trouble." "Hey! Hey! Hey!" Ataru interrupted. "Say, you're not Ataru's cousin, are you?" "No relation at all." Skuld slipped her computer into a pocket. Shinobu turned back to Ataru. "You've been seeing this other girl behind my back, haven't you!" Heat waves shimmered over her head. "You're jealous over him?" Skuld could hardly believe that anybody could be so desperate. "Don't be, there's nothing there to be jealous about!" "You told her our relationship was over?" Shinobu started chasing Ataru around the living room. "It's a trick!" He shouted back. Why is Shinobu misinterpreting everything I say? Skuld wondered. It must be the ultimate force, it's trying to break them up so that he will be free... "Miss Miyake please stop! You're under an external influence!" "What?!?" "Please everybody, just calm down and hear me out!" "How do I know this isn't another trick?" Shinobu paused to catch her breath. "Look you can beat Ataru up anytime, but I've got something important to say. Isn't it better to know than not know?" "OK." Skuld sat down at the table with Ataru across from her and Shinobu next to him. "First of all, I'm not Ataru's girl or cousin. I'm not a girl really, I'm a goddess." "A goddess?" "Yes, here let me show you." Skuld thought about the contents of her hyperspace pocket. Mostly weapons, that won't help here. Ah I know! "OK, watch my hands carefully." Skuld gestured and a tiny helicopter appeared in her hands, then took flight and buzzed around the room. "What's that?" Shinobu asked as it buzzed past her. "It's a sensor-copter." Skuld turned her pocket computer around so that they could see the real time display. "And it can scan other frequencies than the visual. See, here's what the room looks like on the spiritual level." Skuld hit a button and the display went to muddled shades of gray. "Here's what your soul looks like." The display rotated to show the colors of Shinobu's spirit. It was a complex mix that pulsed with her heartbeat, mostly red. "And here's mine." The screen showed a white light that flickered like a candle flame radiating from Skuld. "And here's Ataru's." The screen showed a dark vortex centered on Ataru's outline. "Imposter!" Skuld leapt to her feet, with her hammer at the ready. "What is it?" Shinobu asked. "That is the soul of a demon, not a human being!" Skuld tossed a handful of Setsubun beans at Ataru, but they just bounced off. "Ow! What you do that for?" "Here, catch this!" Ataru caught the good luck tag and looked at it. "What's this?" "What are you doing?" Shinobu asked. "OK, just stand there for a moment, OK?" Skuld put on her sensor goggles and scanned Ataru for a moment. "My apologies Mr Moroboshi. You are neither a demon nor possessed. That is somehow your natural aura." Skuld picked up her pocket computer, landed the copter in her other hand and then folded it back into hyperspace. "Y-your hand, it bent sideways to everything!" Shinobu stared. "Neat huh? I get to keep all sorts of stuff at arm's length but in other dimensions so I don't have to carry them around." The doorbell rang. Skuld rushed to the door. "Keiichi! Please take me away from here, it's weird and I can't teleport!" She sobbed into his chest. "That's your boyfriend?" Ataru asked. "No!" Skuld blushed. "He's my brother in law!" "Uh, what's up?" Keiichi asked. "Nevermind that, let's just get out of here!" Skuld towed Keiichi back to his motorcycle. "Uh, be seeing you." Ataru said from the doorway. "I hope not." Skuld sat in the sidecar with crossed arms and waited for Keiichi to start the engine. As they turned the block she sighed in relief. "What was that all about Skuld?" Keiichi asked. "He asked me to stay with him forever!" "You're moving out then?" "No!" Skuld hunched down in the sidecar. "I stopped by the temple to pick up a few things. I'm going back to the hospital to see Belldandy now, is that OK?" "Yes, just please drive." Henry J. Cobb hcobb@slip.net http://www.io.com/~hcobb Next time: An appeal denied and an infinity of devils.