[AMS] [UY] "Urusei Megamisamaa!" (8/12) "Urusei Megamisamaa!", Chapter Eight: "Dates and Events" By Henry J. Cobb $Id: urusei_megamisama8.txt,v 1.9 1998/01/31 17:22:13 hcobb Exp $ The Ah! Megamisama! characters and situations are the creation of Kosuke Fujishima. The Urusei Yatsura characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. No infringement of their copyrights is intended. Special thanks to Paul Corrigan for prereading this chapter. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunday afternoon. "Koku!" Skuld, goddess of the future, brushed her long dark hair away from her face and looked up from her history textbook as she sprawled on the floor of Ataru Moroboshi's room. "Huh, what is it Scarlet?" Ataru asked the eight inch tall blonde angel who sat on his shoulder. Noble Scarlet pointed to the equation he had just written. "Huh, there's something wrong there? Hmmm.... I forgot to carry over that factor, didn't I?" Ataru erased his work and redid it. "OK, all done." "Koku!" Scarlet leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek. "Enough!" Skuld rose to her feet and clenched her hands into fists. "Yeah, I'm all done with my homework. Time to go out on that date." Ataru closed his notebook and stood up. "And who would be foolish enough to date the infamous Ataru Moroboshi?" Skuld poked an accusing finger at him. "Scarlet asked me out." "What?" "Koku!" The angel nodded. "If you think you're walking out of here with my angel, you you..." Ataru turned to the angel. "What do you think Scarlet, should we ask Skuld to tag along?" The angel shrugged. Downstairs, Skuld glared at Ataru as they put on their coats. Noble Scarlet kept to her simple outfit of a white cross top and matching wrap that faded away to nowhere. Apparently she was as oblivious to the cold as she was to everything else. Outside, Skuld walked by Ataru's left side, while Scarlet floated over his right shoulder. "Say, what is that thing?" A woman pointed at the angel. "Don't worry about it." Her friend replied. "It's just Ataru Moroboshi being weird again." Skuld looked down at the ground. This was exactly why she hated Earth. She'd never fit in with these people. And why should she have to stand for their judgement? She was a princess of heaven,after all. It would be best if they never heard anything about her and she simply kept to her job of keeping the universe running smoothly. Skuld looked up to study Ataru's face. What was it with this jerk? Sure, he was mostly behaving himself for the moment, but she was sure that he'd summon up a bunch of harmful spirits as soon as she turned her back. Why did he have to go and mess everything up? Didn't he understand the gravity of the situation? Ataru turned to face Skuld. "Is something the matter?" "No, nothing." Skuld turned back to watching the ground under her feet. At the Burger Joint, Skuld sat across the table from Ataru. Scarlet sat on his shoulder. Ataru looked up from the menu. "Can I get you anything Skuld?" "No thanks." "Oh come on, I still owe you for that beef bowl." "Just pretend I'm not here." "OK, now Scarlet, what do you want?" Ataru held the menu up and she pointed to an item. "Large ice cream? OK, what flavor? Strawberry?" "Koku!" "OK, got it." Ataru put the menu down. "C-can I help you?" The waitress stared openly at Noble Scarlet. "Neat isn't she? She's my angel." Ataru grinned. "Your angel?" Skuld put her hands down on the table as she stood. "I thought you said you weren't here?" Ataru asked. "Humph!" Skuld sat and crossed her arms. "We'll have a cheeseburger, fries, large coke and a large strawberry ice cream please." "Sure, it'll be right out." Ataru watched the waitress walk away, but then Scarlet yawned and covered his eyes with one of her wings. "Heh, sorry about that. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings Scarlet, after all you're way more lovely than she is." "Koku!" The angel threw her arms around Ataru's neck and hugged him while Skuld quietly fumed. When the order arrived, Ataru asked, "Scarlet, are you sure you can handle a spoon that big? I can ask her to bring a smaller one if you'd like." "Koku." Scarlet shook her head and then pushed the bowl across the table towards Skuld. "Ha!" Skuld lunged forwards but Scarlet fluttered away from her hand, so Skuld simply grabbed at the bowl and began to dig in. "You are not forgiven, you know." Scarlet landed back on Ataru's shoulder. After Ataru finished his meal, Scarlet handed him a napkin. "Are you sure you don't want anything Scarlet?" He asked her. "What do you eat anyway?" "Isn't it obvious?" Skuld glared at the angel. "She's a little parasite, a tapeworm of the soul." "Kokuhaku!"(1) Scarlet objected. "Another ice cream here please!" Skuld asked the waitress who was standing there watching the exchange. "Skuld..." "Don't worry about my figure, I'm eating for two. I have to make up for all her fluttering around!" When they got back to the Moroboshi's, Skuld turned to Ataru after she took off her coat. "Can you give me a hand with my futon?" "You're moving?" Ataru asked. "Yes. Up to your room. I need to keep a constant watch on this little pest." Skuld noticed that the angel seemed extremely pleased with herself. Just she wait, she'd get hers. Ataru's mother came out of the kitchen. "What's up?" Ataru looked up from where he was struggling to carry Skuld's futon up the stairs. "Skuld's moving into my room mom." "Oh, that's nice." The lady of the house turned away, then stopped and turned back. "Skuld, could I talk to you for a moment?" "Sure." Skuld put down the box she was holding and followed Mrs Moroboshi into the kitchen. "Now, I don't mean to pry dear, but are sure that you're using the right sort of protection?" "I am not having any kind of relationship with Ataru!" Ataru looked into the kitchen. "Yeah mom, we're just sleeping together, that's all." Skuld tried to think of one reason why not to kill him. It's part of my goddess training, she concluded. If I can't handle one little twit, how am I supposed to look after major sections of the Universe? That evening, as Skuld placed her futon next to Ataru's, she wondered at the scale of the risk she was taking. "Just one friendly warning Ataru..." "Yeah?" He placed a spare pillow on the other side of his futon for Scarlet. "If you try anything, you die and then we can go explain everything to Daddy." "Uh, sure. No problem." Monday morning, Skuld was awakened by an arm lying across her midsection. Fortunately for the boy it was attached to, it was on top of her blanket. Ataru seemed to be unnaturally sprawled out of his futon on top of her. A quick scan revealed that he was just waking up. On his other side, Scarlet seemed to be sleeping peacefully on her pillow, but Skuld could sense that she was awake. "You're not fooling anybody!" She thought to the angel. Noble Scarlet opened one eye then sat up and stretched her wings as she yawned hugely. "Huuh?" Ataru began to wake up and froze when he noticed his position. "Uh Skuld, I'm..." "I don't want to hear it." Skuld slid out from under his arm and walked downstairs to the bathroom. Later, Skuld wondered how Noble Scarlet kept her seat on Ataru's shoulder while he attacked breakfast. Skuld herself sat a few feet away, outside the range of most of the flying rice. Ataru's mother sat and muttered something about her son, while his father remained hidden behind the morning paper. As Skuld packed away her books for the day, she noticed that Scarlet remained with Ataru. "And where are you going?" She asked her angel. "To School?" "Koku!" The angel nodded. "Well, I'm sorry, but they have a very strict dress code." Skuld explained. "And that outfit doesn't qualify." "Koku!" The miniature blonde angel began to spin around as her wrap and top tore into ribbons that failed to conceal her naked form. "Don't look!" Skuld covered Ataru's eyes with her hands. The streams of material converged on the body of the angel to form underwear, socks, white blouse, blue skirt and collar, black shoes and red cravat. "You even copied Shinobu's underwear!" Skuld accused her angel. "Where?" Ataru grabbed Skuld's hands away from his face. "Show's over creep!" Skuld pulled her hands back. "Koku!" Scarlet showed her eyelid to Skuld. Except for her wings the angel wore the exact outfit for a girl of Tomobiki High School. She even carried a tiny black leather briefcase. At the front door, Skuld paused to see if anybody was looking, but Ataru simply walked out, with Scarlet floating behind him. On the street Kumiko shouted "Ataru!" Skuld turned as Ataru and Scarlet did. They had gotten to within a few blocks of school without incident. Kumiko ran up to them. "What is this thing Ataru, another sort of tengu?" "Nope, she's an angel." Ataru grinned. "Noble Scarlet, this is Kumiko." "Koku." The angel bowed. "Uh, pleased to meet you." Kumiko bowed back. "An angel, really?" "Yes," Skuld replied, "she's my angel." "Can she grant wishes and stuff?" Scarlet rested her chin on her left hand and held her left elbow in her right hand as she crossed her blue eyes in concentration. "No, that's for goddesses only. Can you imagine the confusion if we let angels go around granting wishes?" "Koku!" Scarlet stuck her tongue out at Skuld. "Just look at the time!" Skuld grabbed Ataru's arm. "We'd best hurry in or we'll be late for class." "We've got lots of time..." Ataru complained, but allowed Skuld to drag him along. "What is?" Shutaro stood stunned at the gate, with Shinobu at his side. "No time!" Skuld pushed past him. Sensei Onsen-Mark called out the roll and then looked up at the classroom and stopped when his eyes met Scarlet's. "What is this?" "She's Noble Scarlet." Ataru gestured at the angel on his shoulder. "She's an angel." "Well, tell her to go away." "Sensei, where in the school rulebook is it written that angels are not permitted in class?" Ataru asked. "Humph!" Onsen-Mark replied. "OK, we'll play it your way until I get to the bottom of this. But every student is required to have their own desk." "Do you have one in her size?" "One size fits all." Onsen-Mark indicated an empty desk on the other side of the room. "There is your desk, Miss Scarlet." "Koku!" "It's OK Scarlet." Ataru turned to the angel on his shoulder. "I'll see you after class, OK?" "Koku." Scarlet jumped into the air and flew over to her desk. She sat lotus-style on the desktop and got her school materials out of her briefcase. "She even has miniature versions of all the books?" Onsen-Mark picked up one of the books and flipped through it. "She's very resourceful, but Sensei, can we begin class now?" Ataru asked. "Alright already." Onsen-Mark returned to his desk and began another boring lecture on the English language. Sensei Sakura was shuffling through her papers as the students of Class 2-4 entered the science lab. When she looked up, she spotted Scarlet seated on Ataru's shoulder. "Please recall your spirit Skuld." She looked back down at her materials. "I'm sorry Sensei." Skuld replied. "But, I can't." "What do you mean, can't?" Sakura slammed her book closed. "I just can't, I'm sorry." "Very well. I'll take care of this." Sakura tossed her lab coat onto her desk, revealing the garments of a Shinto priestess. She pulled an exorcism stick out of her shirt and advanced on the angel. "No!" Ataru stood in front of his teacher. "I won't let you hurt this angel." "Stand aside Ataru. We can't allow dangerous spirits to wander around the school." "But Sensei, she's way too cute to be a menace!" "Ataru, you should know very well that looks can be deceiving." "And Sensei, you told Tsubame to look closer, so look." Ataru held his arm out and Scarlet flew up and sat on it, just like a trained hawk. How dare he, Skuld thought, how dare he put my angel on display for show and tell like that. Sakura closed her eyes as she passed her right hand over Scarlet. Sakura blinked, then passed her hands over Scarlet's and Skuld's heads simultaneously. "Very well, Skuld." Sakura turned and put her lab coat back on. "I have no complaint." "Sensei, what is it?" Shinobu asked. "The spirit is also Skuld." Sakura got some boxes out of the lab refrigerator. "How could I object to one form and not the other?" "She's another Skuld?" Shinobu looked at the angel and the goddess. Skuld slouched down behind her lab counter. "No, they are one and the same." Sakura opened one of the boxes in front of Shinobu, Skuld, Scarlet and Ataru. "But enough of that, we need to get started on our lab for this week, frog dissection." "Koku!" Scarlet fluttered back from the dead frog. "Do you have a problem Skuld?" Sakura asked the angel. Scarlet looked from Sakura's face to the frog's and back. "Kokuji."(2) "What did you say?" Sakura slammed her hand down on the counter. "Koku." Scarlet flew behind Ataru. By lunchtime, most of the school had been introduced to the angel, but Shinobu still had some questions. "Isn't it confusing, looking out of two pairs of eyes all the time?" "I'm not." Skuld pretended to be interested in her lunch. "Then Scarlet is flying blind?" "No. OK, we've only got one brain between the two of us. I mean just look at her lack of cranial capacity, right?" Skuld pointed with her chopsticks towards Scarlet's head. "Koku!" Scarlet stuck her tongue out at Skuld. "So, Scarlet here is running off my brain," Skuld continued, "but she's got a mind of her own. It's like a protected process in any real operating system. Actually I'm one of the best at this form of multitasking. My sisters can split up six-fold, but they always quickly recombine before they get too confused, but I can maintain Scarlet here for days without the slightest effort. If only she was actually good for something." Skuld went back to picking at her lunchbox. "Kokuguu."(3) Scarlet complained. After the last class for the day, Nurse Sakura came to door of Class 2-4. "Skuld, can I see you for a moment in the infirmary?" Ataru took opportunity of the distraction and ran out of the class, with Scarlet flying after him. Skuld turned towards them. "Wait!" Sakura grabbed Skuld's arm. "Now please." "OK." Skuld followed her teacher. She had taken on the responsibility to be a proper student and surely Scarlet would at least keep Ataru's skirt chasing in check. What did she see in him anyway? Just another way to torment me that's all, Skuld concluded. Skuld sat and waited in the office in the infirmary as Sakura sipped at her tea. There's something very wrong here, she's very disturbed about something. Skuld began to gently to gently pry, but was thrown back by a wave of mental force. "Stay out of my mind!" Sakura slammed her teacup down, causing a few drops to splatter. "Skuld, all of this reckless magic around the school has to stop now!" "But Sensei!" "No buts about it young lady. That last little trick of yours almost leveled the school, not to mention endangering the student body and staff!" "But Sensei, I didn't cast any spells." "Then what was that with Ataru?" Ah, that was the problem, Skuld realised. Sakura didn't like being manipulated. "I called in my sister when Kurama said she couldn't fix things up and she didn't bring in the specialist that I had asked for but simply hacked some spells around." "So, it's OK to simply invite any sort of spirit that you like to school?" "No, I guess not. I promise Sensei that I'll consult with you before working any more magic at school." Swoosh! A vortex formed in the teacup on Sakura's desk and Noble Scarlet arose from it. "Koku!" Skuld turned towards her angel. "What is it Scarlet? Did Ataru do something?" The angel in the schooldress shook her head. "Kokubo!"(4) "Empress?" Skuld asked. "The princess Kurama? She has Ataru?" The angel nodded. "Please excuse me Sensei, but I have to check this out." Skuld flipped her briefcase into hyperspace. Noble Scarlet reformed her vortex in the teacup and slid down into it with Skuld closely following. Scarlet and Skuld emerged from a cup of sake held by a very surprised tengu. Skuld picked up the tengu. "Where is Ataru?" "The groom? How should I know?" The tengu took another sip of sake and belched. Skuld turned her head away then back as her grip tightened. "Surely you have some idea?" "Sorry, I can't tell you that. Hic. Need to know and all that." "Oh, but I think that Noble Scarlet here needs to know..." The tengu stared into Scarlet's eyes, above her flaming sword for several seconds then flinched back. "The princess took him to see her father." "And who might that be?" "No idea." Skuld gently probed at the tengu's mind. "She's your sister! The man is your father too. How can you not even know his name?" "Hey, he never did anything for me." Skuld could tell that he was telling the truth. "Thanks, you've been most kind." She placed him back down in his tiny chair. The tengu held up his cup. "No thanks, I'll leave by the kitchen." Skuld hated the smell of sake. It reminded her of her oldest sister and how Urd had simply given up in so many ways. Megane was working on his homework in his room when a goddess and an angel popped out of his tea. "Megane, what do you know about Kurama's father?" Skuld asked him. "You really haven't been paying attention goddess." Megane adjusted his glasses. "He was Minamoto Yoshitsune." "Oh, and were does he live now?" "He doesn't, he's been dead for centuries." "She's using time travel. Damn! Her very existence may be at stake." Skuld turned back to Megane. "This Yoshitsune, he's famous isn't he?" "Very." "Kokuban-fuki."(5) Scarlet made a sweeping motion with her hand. "Yes, all of history could be erased. This is bad." Skuld formed a vortex in Megane's teacup. "Don't you ever use the door?" He asked. "No time!" Skuld vanished, followed by her angel. "Well, if you ever need help with history..." Megane offered, but the goddess was already gone. Skuld stood in front of Yggdrasil, by the Well of Knowledge and talked to her angel. "Father's too busy and I can't risk Belldandy in time travel, right? Not while she's got a newborn." "Koku." Scarlet nodded. "And that leaves Urd and Peorth. Anybody else?" The angel shrugged. "It looks like I'm back on my own again." Skuld stared down into the well and then looked back at her angel. "You know I can't merge into Yggdrasil while we're separated like this." "Koku." Scarlet's expression was unreadable. "You want to help Ataru, don't you?" The angel nodded. "So you're going to have to merge back in. Go ahead." Skuld held her right hand up. "Koku." The angel nodded, then spun around as she transformed her schooldress back into the cross-top and spiral wrap. Then she spun down and vanished into Skuld's palm. Skuld spun around and transformed back into her goddess outfit then formed a vortex in the Well of Knowledge and vanished into it. When Skuld reopened her eyes, she was standing on a branch that went a few feet in either direction before connecting to other branches and so on in a three dimensional maze that extended as far as she could see through the mist. "And now to track down that idiot." Skuld plucked a white thread from a nearby branch and tied it around her left pinky. Then she closed her eyes and stood still while she remembered everything about Ataru, his unkempt hair, goofy grin, bad character, his very essence. When she opened her eyes again the thread had turned red. "I had expected black." Skuld walked to the nearest branching and held out the indicator thread. It twitched to the right, so she went that way and consulted it again at the next branch. Skuld stepped out of a tree on a mountainside. "Very few people know the true power of trees. Pity I can't take the same route back, especially while dragging Ataru along." Skuld stood still and reached out with her mind. She felt tengu, Kurama, Ataru and another man. "Yes!" She ran towards them. Skuld saw a small building in a clearing and felt Ataru inside, she ran up. Kurama grabbed Skuld's arm. "What are you doing here pervert?" She whispered. "What am I doing here?" Skuld whispered back. "What are you doing here? Do you realise the dangers of time travel? One false move and you're in the history books!" "I brought Ataru to learn from my father, but he's teaching father strange ideas." Kurama pointed inside the building where Ataru had spread a magazine on the floor in front of a young man. "That's Minamoto Yoshitsune?" Skuld asked. "That's what he'll be called later. Isn't he wonderful?" "I guess, but why does he have bits of tissue stuck up his nose?" "It's because Ataru is teaching him weird things." Kurama hushed the goddess. "And you must carefully praise those parts of a woman that she is most insecure about." Ataru pointed at the magazine. "Now, you couldn't say, ``Miss, your nose is a little on the wide side.''" "How can you look at her nose?" The man who would be known as Yoshitsune asked. "Pay attention." Ataru continued. And so it went. Skuld sat in a tree, where she could listen in on the conversation. She pulled her briefcase out of hyperspace and read her history book by the light of a mini-flashlight. When it started to rain, Skuld put away her books and pulled out a poncho. She sat there shivering in the cold until she finally fell asleep. "Ouch!" Skuld sat up and rubbed at her head. She looked up at the tree she had been sleeping in. She must have fallen out of it. For a moment she tried to remember her dream. It was something about a crowd of young aliens from several different worlds staring in shock. Skuld stood up and looked around. It was morning. She couldn't feel Ataru, Kurama or Yoshitsune anywhere in range. She looked around and found a trail of footsteps leading to the south, Yoshitsune's sandals, Ataru's tennis shoes and Kurama's high heels. Skuld followed the trail, but lost it as it came to a road leading into a town. Skuld could feel around ten thousand human minds in the town. As she approached the town, Skuld realised that her school outfit was very clearly out of place here and transformed in into a copy of a townsgirl's. She wandered around the town for a few hours before she sensed Ataru's mind and walked towards him. "I can see why you have no interest in women." Ataru was now in period costume. "All the girls around here are such dogs." "Wait, this one is pretty." Yoshitsune pulled Skuld's chin up so that he could look at her face. "Skuld!" Ataru stared at the goddess. "Urk!" Skuld ran away and by the time she doubled back, she had lost the trail. That evening, Skuld found Kurama hiding in some bushes next to a bridge over a stream. Kurama glared at Skuld as the goddess sat down next to her, but said nothing. Ataru was delivering a loud essay on philosophy to Yoshitsune as they walked toward the bridge. "If I can have pleasure in this life, then what matter if in the next I am an insect or a bird?"(6) "That's it, I'm going to kill him." Kurama quietly resolved. "Need help?" Skuld asked. "Not from you pervert!" Kurama moved a half-step away from the goddess. Skuld looked away from the alien princess and back towards the bridge. A shadowy figure in a monk's robes was approaching Ataru and Yoshitsune, but they were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn't notice. Skuld spotted the glint of metal. "No!" Skuld fast drew a pistol from hyperspace as she stood and squeezed off a single aimed shot with a bang. "What are you doing!" Kurama wrestled the goddess to the ground and Skuld did not resist. She knew that her aim had been true. "You, you..." Kurama looked up at the bridge and froze. The three figures on the bridge stood still in shock. Between Yoshitsune's feet the blade of a Naginata was embedded harmlessly into the planks of the bridge. "You saved my father." Kurama whispered. "Master!" The monk threw aside the shot-off haft of his weapon and bowed on his knees before Yoshitsune. "Such a masterful blow, like thunder! I never even saw your sword leave it's sheath! I am your humble servant." "What is your name monk?" Yoshitsune asked. "I am Benkei. I have collected nine hundred and ninety nine swords in the search for the man worthy enough to pledge myself to and now I have found him! Whatever your quest is my quest too." "Yes." Yoshitsune helped the monk to his feet. "We must go see to the destruction of the Heike Clan!" The two walked away for a few steps and then Yoshitsune turned back to Ataru. "I am sorry my friend, but your lessons must wait for another day." "Yeah well, see you." Ataru waved as the warrior and monk walked off into the sunset. Skuld crawled out from under the shocked princess, tucked her pistol back into hyperspace and walked up behind Ataru. "Had enough fun yet?" "Yeah, I guess." "Will you take us all back when we belong?" Skuld asked Kurama. The princess walked up, deep in thought. "Yes, stand close you two." She held up her control leaf and it glowed as the world vanished around them in a whirlwind. When the air cleared they where standing in front of Ataru's house. "Hey, Kurama, when's our next date?" Ataru pulled out his black book. "I'm sorry Ataru, but it's over. It was wrong of me to resist fate. I see that clearly now." Kurama turned to Skuld and grabbed her hands. "We've got a new version almost finished. I'll bring it as soon as I can. Be seeing you soon." The alien princess pulled out her control leaf and flew off in a whirlwind. "What was that all about?" Ataru asked. "I have no idea." Skuld walked into the house. "Where were you two yesterday?" Ataru's mother asked from the kitchen. "Studying history." Skuld walked up to Ataru's room. Ataru got an earful from his mother about his inconsideration before joining Skuld in his room. "Why couldn't Kurama have brought us back yesterday?" "Because we were in the past yesterday." Skuld was folding up her futon. "Could you give me a hand with this?" "You're moving out again?" Ataru knelt down to help. "Yes, with Scarlet under control, I can go back to my own room. What did you think of our trip to the past?" "It was very inspiring. I resolve to make love to a thousand women." "Urk!" Skuld fell down as Scarlet erupted from her. "Kokusho!"(7) Scarlet held her flaming sword millimeters from Ataru's nose. "Ah, come on Scarlet, you know I was just kidding." Ataru hastily replied. "You're the only girl for me." "Kokumei."(8) Scarlet banished her sword and snuggled up against Ataru's neck. "It looks like I'm staying here again tonight." Skuld straightened out her futon. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Notes: (1) Kokuhaku: Brutality. (2) Kokuji: Close resemblance. (3) Kokuguu: Maltreatment. (4) Kokubo: Empress. (5) Kokuban-fuki: Blackboard eraser. (6) From the Manyoushuu, from George Sansom's "A History of Japan to 1334", page 94. (7) Kokusho: Extreme heat. (8) Kokumei: Faithfulness. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Henry J. Cobb hcobb@slip.net http://www.io.com/~hcobb Next: "Judgments and Deliberations."