[AMS] [UY] "Urusei Megamisama!" (9/12) "Urusei Megamisama!", Chapter Nine: "Judgments and Deliberations" By Henry J. Cobb $Id: urusei_megamisama9.txt,v 1.17 1998/04/14 15:13:49 hcobb Exp hcobb $ The Ah! Megamisama! characters and situations are the creation of Kosuke Fujishima. The Urusei Yatsura characters and situations are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. No infringement of their copyrights is intended. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- It was quiet, too quiet. Skuld looked up from the ditch. The crowd of young aliens, from many different planets, stood and stared at something. Skuld turned to see and felt a sharp pain to her cheek. Skuld flinched and she felt the pain on her other cheek. Her eyes flashed open and she swatted Noble Scarlet away from her face. "Why are you attacking me?" "Kokuun!"(1) The angel hovered just out of reach with a concerned look on her face. "Dark clouds?" Skuld glanced out the window. It's dark because it's nighttime you twit! That's when people are supposed to sleep." Skuld jumped off of her futon, swung her hammer out of hyperspace and chased the angel around the room. "Huh?" Ataru sat up on his futon. "What's matter?" "This little monster attacked me!" Skuld swung at Scarlet, but the angel ducked behind Ataru. "Can't be, can it Scarlet?" Ataru asked the angel. "Kokuun!" Scarlet repeated. "See, she must have been frightened by a storm or something." "Look out your window Ataru. It's a clear night. Lots of stars and no clouds." Skuld tucked the hammer away and crossed her arms. "But how can she attack you? She is you, right?" "She's a part of me that's gone bad." Skuld glared at the angel as she made her way back to the futon. Skuld was troubled for the rest of the night. How could her angel be so out of control? She was too tense to sleep and so was somewhat bleary eyed when they got to school the next morning. Shutaro was waiting at the gate. At least he didn't have his sword out. "My goddess, where have you been? What did this miscreant do to you?" Skuld tried to edge around him. "It's OK, we were just studying history." "Studying... history?" Shinobu giggled. "No, it's true." Skuld insisted. "But there's one thing. Shutaro, why don't you wear two swords like Ushiwaka Maru did?" "That's from a latter tradition Skuld." Ataru offered. "You see, rich merchants would purchase a licence to wear a single sword for self-defense. It didn't work too well. Anybody wearing a single sword was clearly no good with it." "You dare to make such an accusation? By the honour of the Mendo clan, you die now dog!" Shutaro swung his sword down at Ataru's head, but Ataru rolled back behind his usual sword trap and threw sword and wielder into the schoolyard wall. "Shutaro!" Shinobu ran to his side. "Come on, we'll be late for class." Skuld grabbed Ataru's hand and she dragged him along with Noble Scarlet following. "Keep that up and he'll really kill you some day." "Aw, he's more likely to cut himself." Shutaro glared at Ataru when he entered the classroom, apparently physically unhurt, but Ataru kept his tongue and no further violence erupted. "It's good to see you three back in class." Sensei Onsen-Mark noted while taking the roll. "How was your vacation?" He asked rhetorically. "Kokushi."(2) Scarlet offered to his annoyance. Skuld had a harder than usual time staying awake during Onsen-Mark's history lecture. "The national population during medieval times was limited by the food supply and so was about equal to the national production of foodstuffs, the primary one being rice and what do we call the approximate per-person annual consumption of rice during this time?" The snickers of the class woke Skuld up. Most of the students were looking towards Scarlet's seat. The angel held her hand up. Onsen-Mark walked over to her seat. "Yes Scarlet, what is the answer?" "Koku!"(3) Scarlet proudly announced. Onsen-Mark grimaced. "I trust none of you will forget this anytime soon." As the class walked towards the biology lab, Shinobu asked. "Skuld can you come with me after school?" "Sure." Skuld replied. "I'm sorry about that incident this morning." "Actually, I'm more peeved about your cutting out on me yesterday and leaving me alone against that frog." Shinobu leaned over to whisper in Skuld's ear. "Never comment on the size of a man's sword. It can only lead to trouble." After the last class of the day, Skuld instructed her angel. "Can you keep an eye on Ataru for a while please?" Scarlet nodded. "If you let him run off with any more bimbos I'll have you plucked." "Kokushi!"(4) Scarlet flew off after Ataru. "What was that about history?" Shinobu asked as Skuld followed along. "Kurama took Ataru back in time to see her father. Apparently she's about a thousand years old." "Ataru's always had a thing for older women." "Poor Sensei Sakura." Skuld filled Shinobu in the adventure in the past. "So even Kurama's given up on Ataru. You're the only one left with any faith in him Skuld." "It's my job." "But why did she say she'd return and what's that about destiny?" "I don't know." That little comment worried Skuld too. "Here we are." Shinobu opened the door to a dress shop. "What?" "Skuld, could you help me pick out a dress for the opera?" "Oh, sure." Shinobu took a blue dress off the rack, sighed and put it back. "What's the matter?" Skuld asked. "I like the blue dress, but I can only afford this red one." "Go ahead and try it on." "What?" "You can pay me back after you get to be Mrs Shinobu Mendo." "You're not still mad that I've dumped Ataru for good?" "No, like I said. It's my job, not yours. Maybe somebody good for him will show up." "What do you think?" Shinobu turned around in the dress. "You look lovely. Here, try these earrings on." "Shoe earrings?" "You're Cinderella aren't you?" As they approached the counter Shinobu asked. "Why the panties?" "I need a few pairs." "Hey, we wear the same size." That's not all we share. Skuld was grateful that Ataru wasn't along to comment. "Bank of Asgard?" The clerk asked. "Just run the card through the scanner." Skuld urged. "My credit is very good." Skuld considered Kurama's parting words as she soaked in the tub that evening. "Excuse me." Cherry was standing right next to the tub. "Hyiiiiiii!" Skuld hammered him out the window, breaking it. "Kokushi?"(5) Scarlet flew into the bathroom and looked at the figure flying off in the distance. "What's wrong?" Ataru ran in and stared at Skuld standing there. "Hyiiiiiii!" Skuld hammered him out the broken window. Scarlet ducked out of the way. "The gods frown at abuse of holy persons." Cherry reached for the bean rolls on the living room table, but Ataru snatched the bowl away. "What makes you think you're a holy person?" Skuld, now dressed, asked. "Hey Cherry, where you been lately?" Ataru asked. "And why aren't you back there now?" "I've been on a pilgrimage to India. There is an interesting new sect of Buddhism there. What do you know of the goddess Belldandy, Skuld?" Skuld slammed her palms down on the table and glared down at the self-described holy man. "What do you want with my sister?" "I thought you might be involved with this. I want nothing. Buddha will reveal all in time. I shall simply watch. I'd watch her too Ataru, if I was you." "Well, I know what I'd like to watch." Ataru got to his feet. "And what is that?" Cherry looked up at him. "You flying out of here." Ataru grabbed the tiny priest by his collar. "Hey, hey!" Cherry complained. "Bye!" Ataru dropkicked the deranged monk out the front door. "Such is fate." Cherry noted along his ballistic arc. Scarlet clapped twice and bowed her head. "Life is just fun and games for you, isn't it?" Skuld asked her angel. "Well, just remember who he was threatening!" Skuld popped out her wrist video phone. Urd's annoyed face appeared. "Hey, they're running a Beavis and Butthead marathon!" "Be on the lookout for a three-foot tall Buddhist priest." Skuld warned. "He's after Belldandy." "Uh, OK, if he shows up here I'll keep him entertained. Now put my show back on." School had just let out Thursday afternoon when Skuld suddenly sensed danger in the schoolyard, but turned too late. "Guramaa-sama!"(6) Ataru ran in front of Skuld and took the ray blast full on the chest. He fell down to his knees in front of Princess Kurama. The princess was holding a raybeam rifle. "Koku!" Scarlet pulled out her flaming sword and chased after some Tengu who had arrived with their princess. "Ataru!" Skuld rushed up to him. "Are you OK?" "Not this again!" Ataru opened up his, er her own shirt to look at her new breasts. "Kurama!" Skuld complained. "I thought you said you were through with Ataru. Why are you still flipping his gender?" Skuld turned back towards Ataru. "Button your shirt back up. We're in public!" "Sorry about that." Kurama took careful aim at Ataru and blasted him back to his usual gender, then turned to bring the raygun to bear on Skuld. "What are you doing?" Skuld knocked the gender blaster from Kurama's grasp with her extending hammer. "But, don't you want to be changed?" Kurama stooped down to pick up the blaster and looked up at the goddess. "Why should I want my gender changed?" Skuld demanded. "Oh, so you prefer it like this?" Kurama slung the rifle on her back, took Skuld into her arms and kissed the smaller girl on the lips. "Waaaah!" Skuld pushed away from Kurama. "So that's why you tried to keep me away from Kurama!" Ataru pointed an accusing finger at Skuld. "You wanted her for yourself!" He turned and pushed his way through the crowd of students. "Ataru wait!" Skuld rushed after him. Scarlet abandoned her chase, banished her sword and followed Skuld, leaving the Tengu to collapse on the ground, breathing heavily. Kurama was left alone in the crowd. "Megane, what do we do about this?" Chibi asked. "Later." Megane turned away. Saturday at noon, after classes, Sakura took Skuld out to lunch. "We'll have two large Beefbowl specials." Sakura ordered. "And what do you want Skuld?" "A small vegetable bowl will do, thanks." While they waited for their order, Skuld turned to her teacher. "You wanted to talk to me about something?" "Yes, it's about Ataru. I think it's about time." "Huh?, he's only improved a little bit." "Exactly, it's time to dump him." Skuld sat in stunned silence for several seconds after hearing this. "But, Sensei Sakura, we don't have any sort of personal relationship. It's purely professional." "Then be very sure of that." As they ate, the speed at which Sakura put food away reminded Skuld of somebody, even if she did it with far more grace than he ever had. Skuld flinched at the memory. "Is there something the matter?" Sakura looked up. "No Sensei, I was just thinking about somebody I once used to know." Skuld picked at her meal. Later Saturday afternoon, Skuld arrived at Shinobu's house. "I'm so glad you've come Skuld." Shinobu's mother met the goddess at the door. "She's in such a tizzy." "What's the matter Shinobu?" Shinobu turned away from the bathroom mirror. "I just can't do it Skuld! The society press will be there and I've never even known anybody who's been in the paper." "Relax Shinobu. You've got the natural grace of a princess. And you don't have to do anything. Just follow Shutaro around quietly and I doubt anybody will pay you the slightest attention. Now, what can we do with your hair?" Skuld found Ataru and Scarlet working on their homework when she returned to his room. She supposed that the angel's steady encouragement somehow filled a need of his, something he'd lacked. Skuld was shocked when she leaned over the angel's shoulder. "That's godscript!" "Yeah, she always does her homework and tests like that." Ataru pointed his pencil at the angel's tiny notebook. "Haven't you noticed?" "But, why doesn't Sensei Onsen-mark complain? He can't even read this!" "He gets Sensei Sakura to grade Scarlet's papers. I think he's doing it just to have an excuse to see her. Not that he has any chance with her because..." Scarlet raised one eyebrow at Ataru. "Sensei Sakura can read this?" Scarlet wondered. Late that evening, Skuld felt a sudden unease and stood up from her futon. As she walked out of Ataru's room, Scarlet took flight and followed her. "You feel it too?" The goddess in pajamas asked her angel in white gossamer. "Koku!" Scarlet nodded. "I'm just tense. Maybe a glass of milk will help." As Skuld walked down the stairs she felt that somebody was running towards her. Somebody extremely angry. "Shinobu!" Skuld opened the front door to the Moroboshi house just before the other girl could knock. Scarlet quietly gasped. "Why does she hate you so?" Shinobu shook her fist at Skuld. Skuld stared at Shinobu's new blue dress, now in soggy tatters, her hair was a tangled mess and one of her shoe earrings was missing. How could she have followed me here? How could she have known about Shinobu? Skuld glimpsed into Shinobu's mind, but the image there was of the face of an unfamiliar human girl with large jet black eyes and straight auburn hair tied back with a red ribbon, delicately laughing. "I don't know who you're thinking of." Skuld stood in shock. "Fine, just be that way then!" Shinobu clinched her fists, but turned and ran back in the direction of her own house. Sunday, Shinobu refused to take Skuld's calls. There was only a tiny article on the opera in the back section of the paper and no mention of Shutaro or Shinobu. "What's so interesting in the paper today?" Ataru asked, as Skuld handed the society section back to his father. "Nothing." Skuld considered asking Ataru, but she knew he'd rush over to Shinobu's and make everything worse. Monday morning, neither Shutaro nor Shinobu met them at the schoolgate. Both were waiting in the classroom. Shutaro seemed greatly embarrassed while Shinobu steamed with quiet anger. At lunchtime, Scarlet fluttered over to take her usual perch on Ataru's shoulder while he ate. He seemed to be saving his lunchbox until lunchtime lately, just so he could have her there. Scarlet looked up and stared. "Kuroko!"(7) Skuld looked at Scarlet. What could trigger such a metaphor from her angel? Skuld turned to look at the door. Two Kuroko, in their black costumes and flat masks were unrolling a red carpet through the doorway. Shinobu's knuckles whitened on the edge of her desk and Shutaro's face paled as the Kuroko turned a corner and finished unrolling the carpet between them. The girl from Shinobu's memories walked gracefully through the door in an elegant kimono with a wide obi. She looked to be about sixteen. "What do you want here?" Shinobu asked the girl. "I am not here to see you, but rather Shutaro dear." The girl turned to Shutaro. "And what is he to you?" Shinobu asked again. "Why, we are fiancees." The girl took Shutaro's hand. "What!, He's engaged?!?" Every girl in the class screamed together. "Stop this foolishness Ryoko!" Shutaro dropped her hand. Ryoko turned back towards Shinobu. "And now, will you give up and release your spell over him, goddess?" "I am not the goddess!" Shinobu stood up. "But of course." Ryoko covered her face with an antique fan. "Such things do not exist." "She's the goddess!" Shinobu pointed at Skuld. Ryoko turned around to study Skuld. Skuld couldn't read this girl's thoughts. She wasn't a total blank like the Oni. Skuld could sense Ryoko's mind, but her thoughts were hidden behind some sort of mask. It wasn't the mental discipline that Sakura used. It was more like Ryoko didn't even reveal her thoughts to herself. "This is a goddess?" Ryoko asked. "Sister, I have indulged your whims in a great many things," Shutaro stood up, "but you will not harm the goddess!" "So, she's only his sister!" The girls of the class sighed in relief. "Hey, she's my goddess!" Ataru got up and Scarlet took flight, to buzz around the Kuroko. "So my brother is not the only one ensnared?" Ryoko looked shyly over her fan. "And who are you?" "Ataru is my current client." Skuld remained seated. She could sense that the situation was almost explosive. "And what is this?" Ryoko folded up her fan and pointed with it at the angel who was now circling her. "This is my angel, Noble Scarlet." Ataru held up his arm and Scarlet seated herself on it and folded her wings. "Your angel?" Skuld turned to Ataru. "Oh, so many new things in the world today and I am kept locked up in a tower on the Mendo estate." Ryoko sighed. "That is not true!" Shutaro glared at his sister. "Uh, I could come visit you sometime." Ataru offered. "That would be so kind of you sir." Ryoko bowed ever so slightly to him. "Never!" Shutaro advanced a step. "Ataru, this is your last warning! Keep your filthy, lower-class hands off my sister!" "Ah, but brother, I know your weakness." Ryoko clapped her hands twice and the Kuroko pulled a black sack over Shutaro's head and then dumped him in the cleaning closet. "Aiiiiigh!" Shutaro screamed from inside the closet. "It's dark! It's cramped!" "Shu-chan!" Shinobu rushed to the closet. "So, should I expect you around eight tonight?" Ryoko asked Ataru. "Sure, I'm free." "Never! Never!" Shutaro screamed from inside the closet. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Notes: (1) Kokuun: Dark clouds. (2) Kokushi: National history. (3) Koku: A measure of rice or value. (4) Kokushi: Abuse (5) Kokushi: Buddhist priest. (6) Guramaa: Sexy woman. (7) Kuroko: Officially invisible stage hands of Japanese theater. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Henry J. Cobb hcobb@slip.net http://www.io.com/~hcobb Next: "Traps and Stages" or "What grenade through yonder window breaks?"