Zine Clichés

From Queer Zine Explosion #6, November 1992

There is nothing new under the sun, but some things are more tired than others. Here's list of things we've seen more than once, more than twice, at least three times, and the charm has worn off. Don't feel guilty if (like us) you've done these things, but please, please don't do them again.

Whiny editorials about how late the zine is. We really don't care.

The dictionary definition of your zine's name. We have plenty of reference books.

Herb Caen spoof column headers. A San Francisco tradition.

Re-captioned Family Circus strips. Isn't a dog named Barfy subversive enough?

Tables of contents. What next, a zine with an index?

"An ugly-font-free publication." Eat Lithos, suckers.

Rehashing the Toronto zine feud. Yawn...

"Zines are over." Yeah, and so is punk rock, so cut your hair.

The Heterosexual Quesionaire. It's enough to turn you straight.

Nephew of Zine Clichées

From Queer Zine Explosion #7, February 1993.

Recipes. We own cookbooks.

Advice columns with no letters. Girls, leave the job to Eppie and Popo.

Gay vs. Queer charts. If you need a list to tell the difference

Celebutante/gliteratti snapshot pages. Out-of-focus flash photos of your clique does not constitute interesting news.

Stupid zine editor names. "Sting" and "Bono" are bad enough, you closet cases.

I hope I never see that picture of Bill and Al as gym queens again. It's been on the cover of the Advocate, after all.

Overpriced zines. Hmmm... four pieces of paper. Should be able to charge at least a buck a page.