It's like this. I have a big pile of towels devoted to washing my Miata. Some for cleaner application, some for cleaner removal & polishing, some for drying. I've got a system. Each towel has a role to play, each rag is a critical component in the process.
The towels are dirty. I need to wash them, but I haven't. It just takes one load. I never use much Tide, just enough to clean them. It's not that I don't have plenty of Tide. We get Tide in enormous boxes from Sam's. Tremendous boxes, the same kind used by professional businesses. So it's not an issue of conserving Tide. I just don't want residual detergent on my towels. I plan carefully.
When I wash the towels, the red paint on the towels floats off. Not all of it, but enough to leave a pink mist on the washer. The tub ends up coated with pink. The pink comes off with a paper towel, sometimes moistened with Clorox Cleanup. It comes off just fine, and I even do another load afterwards of unimportant laundry just in case. I do laundry afterwards that doesn't really count, laundry that I just do because I can't commit to throwing it away. So it has to be washed, but it's OK if it gets a little pink. Which it doesn't, because I do a pretty good job of wiping the paint off the tub.
It's just that all that takes a lot of commitment, and I haven't had the spirit lately. I haven't been motivated, even though the car is dirty.
This morning I got gas at the Diamond Shamrock. The new Diamond Shamrock on Jollyville has a new car wash system. This would not be the Diamond Shamrock that has the actual Jollyville Circle Tree on its premesis, though the road and the tree share the name of the town that's now gone, but that used to be there, or nearby. Not exactly where the road is, and not even where the tree is. Diamond Shamrock had the tree moved to its current location. The trunk grew in a circle, or an oval.
Because my car is dirty, and because my towels are still dirty, and because I haven't had the spirit lately to wash the towels, I decided to try the new car wash. I worry about the finish on my car. I worry that if I don't take personal care the finish will be scratched. Most automated car washes use long strips of cloth that flap against the car to remove the dirt. The flaps can trap particles, tiny fragments of roads I've driven on, and as they sweep over the car the particles can scratch the paint. This is something I've heard, wisdom I've skimmed off the Internet, and not something I've personally witnessed. But I am familiar with the flaps, and I worry.
The new car wash at the Diamond Shamrock is not based on flaps. From the outside, you can't tell, but inside there are no flaps at all, just pipes. The system is called the LaserWash 4000. "The Future Is Now" is what it says on the slip of paper that has the code number on it. If you pay inside, you get a code, otherwise you feed bills directly into the LaserWash console. I punched in my code. The LaserWash started to hum. Fountains of water switched on as soon as my code was verified. I drove forward as instructed by the machine itself.
The initial fountains of water must be intended as a preliminary step, a preparation for the actual laser-guided wash. The initial fountains spray water upwards, which is probably the same direction most of the dirt was travelling as it headed for my car in the first place. The fountains wash off the surface dirt. They also force water between the soft top and the side windows. My shoulder got wet.
I drove forward. There's a framework on the floor of the LaserWash shed, a harness for the front left tire. I drove into the harness and was told to stop the car. The car had stalled anyway because I couldn't hear the engine and had allowed it to rev down too far. The strain of rolling into the harness had caused it to stall. I found that convenient, almost as if the LaserWash had been designed to stall the car at the exact moment it was secured. The LaserWash was now fully active.
A sign informed me that the wash step had begun. The main pipe began to spray a light foamy mist onto the car. The pipe is guided by a laser, hence the name. A laser conveyed the shape of my car to the machinery that moves the pipe, the essential geometry. Soon I couldn't see the LaserWash because the foam obscured the windshield. It did not reach the interior, unlike the water from the pre-wash spray.
The pipe returned to its initial position. The sign now indicated that my car was soaking. The foam slid off the windows slowly, enough that I could read the sign. Soon the soak time elapsed and the rinse began. The rinse phase is violent, more intense than the pre-wash spray. The water hurtles from the pipe, the car vibrates from the impact. The pipe retraced the vague outline of my car that it had learned from the laser system. More water slipped through the seals at the top of the side windows. My shoulder got more wet. Water also got in behind me, but I didn't notice until later.
The wax phase began. I hadn't wanted any wax, but apparently the LaserWash is not configured to perform a wash without sealing its handiwork in wax. The wax is not optional. The pipe began its circuit again, spraying wax. The wax spray is gentle, a profound contrast to the rinse spray. Water beaded up on the windshield. I never wax my windshield when I wash the car by hand, but the LaserWash doesn't have the dexterity of a person. It lacks opposable thumbs.
The wax phase finished. I heard a louder rumble than I'd heard before. The top of the car shook. The blowers had come on, and the sign instructed me to drive forward. There are blowers at the exit from the LaserWash shed, and there must be blowers in the middle. The ones at the exit are designed to blow the remaining water off the car, to seal the wax. The blowers are an essential part of the LaserWash system. I decided to drive very slowly under the blowers, to savor the action. I wanted the car to be as dry as possible. I paused as the hood began to dry. I slipped forward another two feet. The noise on the soft top increased. I became worried that the top would not withstand any more, that the blowers would damage the top. I moved forward more. I tried to pause so that the back of the car would dry, but I had rolled too far. Reversing into the LaserWash did not seem smart. It's a one-way shed.
I discovered the water in the back when I got to work. It was not a lot of water, just drops. More water than I would like to have inside the car, but not an unreasonable amount. The LaserWash had only an outline, a block diagram. It has no way to detect the softness of the top, to probe its vulnerability. Given that, the amount of water in the car was perfectly reasonable. I wiped it away with paper towels. My shoulder is dry now.
I would recommend against the LaserWash for Miata owners.