.. leave e-mail .. (for Monty or Carolyn)The difference between theory and experience generally lies in practice, and this is certainly true of Attitudinal Healing. Try to do one of the following personal practice exercises each day (but not more than once per waking hour). Most are five-minute exercises, but you may extend them to 15 minutes if you are comforatble with them. Try not to judge yourself for failing, or for doing them imperfectly, or for being distracted while doing them. Nevertheless, be willing to make an effort, and give them enough priority in your day to make the practice effective. In fact, it is your own "little willingness" that sparks the changes we come to know as "healing".
Practice Exercises:
"We Can Learn to Love Ourselves and Others by Forgiving, Rather than Judging"
As a tool, the mind uses "good judgment" to help make decisions in our everyday world. But when we apply the same tool to our relationships with others, or to our perception of ourselves, the result can be quite unproductive. Judgment frequently becomes the means by which we cut ourselves off from our natural connections with others, and with Life. The result is that we find ourselves feeling disconnected, set apart, and yes, even judged. For five minutes at the beginning of your day, sit quietly. Consider the ways you feel "judged". Silently, but clearly, acknowledge this, saying something like "Regarding this person (name them), or situation (name it), I feel judged.", or "I judge myself for (name the behavior or quality)." Then place your hands over your heart, and offer this thought, repeated slowly and silently for several minutes: "Only my own judgments bind me, and only my own forgiveness sets me free."
Throughout the day, as you encounter the temptation to judge another or yourself, say quickly to yourself, "Only my own judgments bind me, and only my own forgiveness sets me free."
When we judge others, we bind them to the past as we see it, and by our own decision. In doing so, we set about to reinforce in our mind, the erroneous belief that we, too, are bound to the past. In the process, we completely overlook the present moment, and our connection to it. For five minutes at the end of your day, sit quietly in a quiet place. Gently review your day, and take note of any situations in which you let your judgment of another rule your perception of them. Acknowledge this clearly, saying: "In this situation regarding (name the person), I let my judgment overshadow my connection with him/her." Then imagine that a loving being approaches you both, and offers to you both a peaceful gaze or touch. Ask this loving being how to see things differently, and wait gently and patiently for a loving thought to arrive. Finish by saying silently to yourself, five times: "I cannot see clearly through clouds of judgment, but I am willing to see with the eyes of Love."
We cannot judge truly based on limited evidence. And the narrow perspectives with which we judge ourselves and others are based on our own limited interpretation of what the world is, or should be. Therefore, when we judge based on our own views, we are bound to judge wrongly. Still, there is another way. For five minutes at the beginning of your day, sit quietly in a quiet place. For the first minute, remember how it feels to judge and be judged. Then release it, by your wish to see things differently. Repeat slowly and thoughtfully, "Above all else, I want to see differently, that I may truly be free."
At least one more time today, perhaps when you feel the weight of judgment on yourself or another, sit quietly for one minute, reminding yourself: "Above all else, I want to see differently, that I may truly be free."
Whenever you feel guilt, you can be sure that judgment is at work, removing you from your natural connection with Life. But when you take time to connect with Life on Its terms, your connection with Life is reestablished, because connection is your natural state in Love. Take five minutes at the beginning of your day to connect with Life. Take a slow walk, or spend five minutes gazing out the window, or listen to an inspiring piece of music, or read a poem, or sing a song. Dedicate this five minutes to this single task, and connect with Life as deeply as you can during that time.
During the day, whenever you find yourself feeling guilty, recall what it felt like to be connected with Life, and make that connection again if you can.
The past is over, but our thoughts about it persist. The conventional view of "forgiveness" says, "I have been wronged, but I will pretend it did not matter, and remember to rise above the past." (Whew! Tiring, huh?) A new model of forgiveness says, "I give the past permission to be exactly as it was, and start my life anew right now." For five minutes at the beginning of your day, quietly reflect on past issues that cause you discomfort. Acknowledge each one silently in your mind, saying, "In this situation regarding (name it), I give the past permission to be exactly as it was." After a few minutes of review, place your hands over your heart, and sink gently into that quiet peaceful place where Love lives inside of you. Help yourself gently, by affirming again and again, "In Love's gentle Heart, I start my life anew right now."
Throughout the day, whenever you find yourself occupied with thoughts of the past, say silently, "I give the past permission to be exactly as it was, and start my life anew right now."
Another model of "forgiveness" suggests that "letting go" is important in releasing ourselves and others from the past. But what does "letting go" mean? Perhaps, it is a willingness to trust Life as it is right now, in this very moment. If we're used to "clinging" to the past, letting go can be an unfamiliar thing for us. For five minutes sometime during your day, sit quietly. Reflect on the ways you "cling", perhaps saying: "In regards to (name the person or situation), I cling to ideas from the past (and name the ideas). Then, with eyes closed and ears open, come fully into the present moment by listening to the SOUNDS around you. Sit perfectly stark still, and listen. If the mind distracts you with chatter, dismiss it gently but firmly, reminding yourself: "I am listening now..." Then listen again. Hear every tiny sound. As your time draws to a close, repeat five times, slowly: "Life is all around me, and I am a part of it; I am willing to trust Life now."
At least three times today (and once per hour if you can), take a moment to listen to the sounds around you, and say silently, "Life is all around me, and I am a part of it; I am willing to trust Life now."
Another model of forgiveness does not dwell on the past at all. Instead, it acknowledges the issue, then gives the mind something positive and loving to do, in the moment, now. We call this process "blessing," and it serves to turn the mind to "appreciation" which is the natural outcome of true forgiveness. For five minutes at the beginning of your day, sit quietly. Call to mind any issues from the past which cause discomfort for you. Then, remember any persons involved in this issue (yourself or others), and imagine that you can see them as they are now. Visualize them as clearly as you can. Picture a benevolent being standing beside you, if you feel you need help. Then bless them and yourself, by saying: "May you be free of suffering; may you dwell in the Heart of peace." Close by saying three times, slowly (and including yourself): "May all beings be free of suffering; may all beings dwell in the Heart of peace."
Throughout the day, offer silent blessing whenever you can: "May all beings be free of suffering; may all beings dwell in the Heart of peace."
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