5th day of Zenon, 20936
Greetings from your future benevolent dictator, Zog of Grustland. This correspondence is to advise you that I will be arriving on your planet along with my very large galactic army to take command of your planet within the week.
Do not fear, I have the highest expectations for a peaceful transition from your current collection of uncooperative governments to a single dictatorship that will unify your world and give me some place to cultivate my pet Znufengerbs. Your current rulers will become assistants on my Znufengerb ranch and will be available to advise me during the transition, when they aren't feeding the calves or cleaning out stalls of course.
I have studied your history extensively and feel that I am the best candidate for the position of ultimate ruler of your world. I look forward to helping you cultivate a peaceful plant free of strife and with a Znufengerb in every home to bring you joy.
Sincerely, Zog the High Commander