Quick Little Update: My work sked's about to lighten up just a bit in the next couple of weeks, once I get past this latest round of travel and fill-in DJ work. Which means that OMBlog will resume a more regular sked finally. As some of you have pointed out, it seems that between June and August I always get way too busy with the club website work to sit down long enough to do any blogging of my own. Hey, bills have to be paid, and sometimes fun has to be sacrified. However. I've got a few comments to make about some recent events, just to make sure you kids know I'm not totally out of the loop on things:

Analogy Of The Day: Getting an OMBlog published is like pulling teeth. Which means yes, I had another tooth pulled week before last, and this one was a major one. Still, if you need a good dentist here in Central Texas, give Dr. Elizabeth Rayne a call at 512-443-5813. Reasonable rates for excellent quality work, and she also uses Septocane as the anesthesia of choice over Novocain or Morecain, which means that while it doesn't last but about 1/4th as long as the traditional IV pain killers, it doesn't' leave your jaw feeling like a dead chunk of boiled inner tube for 2-3 days after it wears off. Even if you don't go check out Dr. Rayne for your dental work, talk to your dentist about switching to this stuff. Trust me, with a dental history file 3.5 inches thick, I'm well versed in pain killers, and this stuff is worth giving a free plug for.

JonBenet Ramsey: Sorry kids, but this guy's confession is so far so full of holes that had it been the Bismark there would have more hole than ship. What we're going to find out when this all comes out in the open is that this guy is a) a child molesting psycho, who b) became obsessed with JonBenet *after* the kid was murdered, c) fled to Bangkok to escape molestation charges filed against him from his preying on schoolkids, d) started e-mailing JonBenet's mom with phony confessions in some sick, twisted game and/or attempt to self-psychobabble himself into "condoning" for his molestations, and e) was fed secret info by the Boulder cops so as to give him enough rope to finally hang himself with. Make no doubt about this - the guy's a sicko pervert childmolesting scumbag, and deserves to get what's coming to him. But not if he's used as a scapegoat to get the pressure off the Boulder cops for their inability to catch the real killer.

Harry, We Miss You, Ya Big Lovable Drunk!

YouTube on OMBlog? Yep, I've added an imbedded link to a YouTube clip. This one's from a Smothers Brothers episode from back around 1969, and features a very rare appearance on TV by none other than Harry Nillson. Had Harry not suffered from such severe stage fright, he could have done for music education what Bob Ross did for painting. This is a must-see clip, especially since it reminds us how much music has suffered since Harry died.

Pluto - Planet or No?: Ok, they're finally trying to decide this once and for all. To be honest, there's three ways to go about this:

1. Make Pluto and all Kuiper Belt Objects (KBOs) of the same size and shape automatically a planet, and planets under a specific class as all planets are divided into classes anyway. Gas Giants, Terrestrial Bodies, and now "Plutons". The key being that they have to be spherical due to their own gravitational pull.

2. Pluto is no longer a planet, and anything under a specific size has to be classified as an asteroid.

3. Pluto is granted special planetary status by the simple fact that it was discovered first, and that the exemption is made more for historical purposes than scientific "accuracy".

Personally, there's plusses and minus to either one of these. Having 12-14 planets instead of 9 would have to be explained in the schools, forcing all these dipshit teachers to teach more space science instead of liberal hippie crap, but at the same time every single science textbook would have to be updated to reflect the increase in the number of planets. Same thing happened when the Evil Soviet Empire collapsed, and every geography/social studies/history textbook had to be revised to reflect the fact that the USSR no longer existed. The same thing would have to happen if they voted Pluto out of the 9, but then again Holst's symphony would no longer be an unfinished work. The third option might wind up being the best one, with the rationale behind the decision being something similar to that given when kids ask why Hawaii is part of the US when it's clearly not attached to North America, much less the US, by any physical means - read: "It's a planet because we said it's so, so accept it and move on, you smart-assed punk, before you get a week's worth of detention again!"

Of course, the biggest minus to all this is that the IAU is running the show on this, and their track record on classification and object/landmark naming isn't exactly what you'd call the most logical, much less acceptable. I honestly predict that they'll find some way to clusterfrack this decision in the same way they handled the naming of certain landmarks on the Moon by refusing to grant them the names assigned them by the Apollo Astronauts and their support teams, who were far more qualified to assign those names by right of the explorer than a bunch of quasi-tenured wankers whose decision processes are highly influenced by the Frogs.

Anyway, I'm keeping an eye on this, so expect an OMrant regardless of how the decision goes...

Superman Returns: Yep, finally took time to see this one on the big screen. I may get time to write a really analytical review when time permits, but in a nutshell I've got a few points to make about the film:

• Brandon Routh successfully channeled Christopher Reeve. Hell, he didn't even have to use a special Ouija Board to do it! Chris would have been proud as hell of Brandon. Here's hoping he doesn't fall victim to the "Superman Curse", because he sincerely has earned that exemption.
   

• Kate Bosworth had about as much business playing Lois Lane as Rosie O'Donnell had playing Betty Rubble. Sorry Kate fans, but she was about as inspiring as Lois as Dan Quayl was as the VEEP.
   

• While I've always been a major fan of Zoltan Perisic's Zoptic effects in the Richard Donner films, the CGI in this film literally blew the original look away. Especially by trying to use modern technology to look as similar to the original version as possible. For a brief moment I really did, once again, believe a man could fly.
   

• Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. He channelled Gene Hackman adequately, but to be honest there was a *LOT* more he could have done with this role. Infinite Crisis changes notwithstanding, Luthor's not the "evil real estate genius" anymore. Granted, Spacey did play Lex a bit more realistically, but he could have taken the character a lot further and gotten away with it with ease.
   

• Frank Langella did a good job as Perry White. He's now forgiven for his banal portrayal of Dracula all those years ago...
   

• The Big Revelation. Do *not* expect this to be carried over into the comics. At least, not in the next few years.
   

• Eva Marie-Saint as Ma Kent was a nice touch, but her presence more than anything else was to let everyone know that Superman III and Superman IV never happened. Seeing as how I'm seeing the cousin of Mark "Nuclear Man" Pillow these days, I'll probably have to ask him how he feels about having been retconned out of existence.
   

• The Ending. This was possibly the biggest let-down I've experienced since Alien III. Unlike that third Alien film, the let-down occurs at the end of the film. Let's just say that after all that happens, and especially in light of the Big Revelation, for Superman to still keep the secret of his identity a secret was just plain retarded. However, if reports coming out of Hollyweird are correct, word has it that Bryan Singer was so frackin' wasted both emotionally, physically and illegal chemistry-wise by the end of principal photography, that the ending was half-assed thrown together.
   

• The Intro Left On The Cutting Room Floor. Lots of bitching about this one, which was showed us more of where Clark was for those five years, and what few stills have leaked out show some really great CGI of what's left of Krypton. But Singer left it out, claiming it ruined the flow of the movie. That same sort of thinking is what ruined Star Trek X: Nemesis, where intro scenes and other expository ones were left out to cut the running time down, and wound up totally fracking the film up beyond repair. Singer's gone between vowing the footage will never be seen, to it'll be on the DVD someday, to it'll only be seen on IMAX 3-D.  Expect it to be on the DVD release regardless of Singer's wishes just to shut the Super-fans up, much in the same way George Lucas was forced to add in the "Yoda lands on Dagobah" scene to the DVD release of Revenge of the Sith. One of these days filmmakers will learn that audiences actually want about 97% of the footage they trim out, especially if it makes the plot more comprehensible.

Anyway, enough on that film for now. Someone remind me in a few weeks and I'll see if I've got time to go into details about what did and did not work on this film.

This Is Fracking Brilliant, Kids. Go. Watch Now.

Item: ByteMite, Carrascolinda, and 10:GOTO(Hell) passed this one on to me. It's possibly one of the funniest Flash animations I've seen in a while. Check out the link here, and then remember that the spirits of Friz Freeling, Chuck Jones and Bob McKimson are as eternal as their creations. Especially when they inspire classics like this one.

Hmm. Got enough time for a few Wikilinks, just to give you something to suck on besides your SO.

Most people only know the Mars Suite enough to hum the tune. Which is probably why most people are unaware that Holst only wrote music for seven of the nine planets. And yeah, he wrote the symphony knowing Pluto had just been discovered, but never bothered to add it in. An "official" update was commissioned in 2000, but most purists ignore it like Bryan Singer ignored the last two Superman flicks.

I drink Dr. Pepper and I'm proud. Only these days, what with the blood sugar and all that, I'm usually only drinking it at 10, 2 and 4 as the bottle prescribes...

I plugged this stuff earlier. Now, go see what Wikipedia has on it. Not much, but it's a start, and you can pass the link on to your dentist.

Quick Update: No, I'm not dead. The fact of the matter is that for the past few weeks I've been not only really, really busy, I've been doing a lot of business traveling that's kept me even more really, really busy. However, some light is seen ahead at the end of the tunnel that's not totally coming from an approaching Amtrak, so I should be able to resume some semblance of regular OMBlogging. However, as I'm taking a brief break *and* helping my best friend Brian Z. get through a rough time - his wife was in a bad wreck this afternoon, and while expected to pull through is still in pretty fracked up shape - *AND* still nursing a fracked up ankle - more on that later - I figure I'd better post a brief update here to let everyone know what's up. I've time for a few items of note, and then a few Wikilinks just to keep you tatertittilated for a while until I get things going again:

One Quick Item: No, I've not seen the last four episodes of Doctor Who due to time constraints, but this weekend I plan to watch them back to back. From what I've seen of the previews, it appears the entire season *has* been a setup to get Rose off the series. Which is a total bummer, because Billie Tyler's probably the one actress in about 30 years that has made me stop and go "gee, I'd actually go down on that gal!" Even if she *is* a Limey...

One Quick Item: If you haven't seen this one yet, you need to click on the image and load this clip:

No. Really. Click On The Image. You Have To See This One, Kids.

This is from a camera mounted on the aft end of one of the Shuttle's Solid Rocket Boosters, and is quite possibly the most spectacular image of the Shuttle in flight ever taken. The punch line to this one is that not only is there a mirror image of this footage taken from a camera mounted on the other SRB as well, but there's a clip showing both mirrors *and* two additional views from the cameras mounted near the noses of each SRB, all composited and synchronized into one of the wildest ascent clips ever seen. If that Saturn V Interstage separation clip defined the Saturn V and Apollo in general, and the S-IVB separation footage as viewed from the Saturn IB S-I stage became one of the most recognized clips in NASA history, then this series of clips will become the same for the Shuttle Program long after the fleet is retired in 2010.

Anyway, you need to see these clips. Check them out here over on NASA's official STS-121 Website:

STS-121 Solid Rocket Boosters Videos

• Right forward SRB camera (Suck-Assed Windows Media clip)

• Right aft SRB camera (More Suck-Assed Windows Media clip)

• Left aft SRB camera (13.7 Mb Less Suck-Assed Quicktime movie)

• Left forward SRB camera (13.6 Mb Less Suck-Assed Quicktime movie)

• Separation composite view (10 Mb Less Suck-Assed Quicktime movie)

Of course, if you *really* want to capture these streams, I strongly suggest checking out SDP Downloader 2.0, from the Streaming Download Project. The latest version can be downloaded here, and it works quite well at capturing streams that content control freaks don't want you to have copies of on your home systems.

Barrett co-founded Pink Floyd in 1965 with Waters, Mason and Wright, and penned most of the band's early songs. Their 1967 album "The Piper at the Gates of Dawn" was a commercial and critical hit. This initial success resulted in some interesting twists in the band's acceptance by their fans. |Barrett's lyrics, |mixed with the band's style of jazz-infused rock, and enhanced by infamous, drug-laced, multimedia "happenings", wound up making Pink Floyd the definitive band of the 60's London psychedelic scene much in the same way The Who defined the previous Mod era from whence psychedelia sprang forth.

Considering how close he was to the whole Acid Trip scene, Syd's eventual collapse came as no real surprise to anyone. He had suffered for most of his life from some mental instability, which became debilitating exacerbated by his (ab)use of LSD. As his trips became more frequent, his behavior grew increasingly erratic; sometimes not showing up for concerts at all, sometimes showing up only to detune his guitar for 10 minutes, mumble his lyrics incoherently, or just stand catatonically on stage while the rest of the band played on.

Despite his brief career, quite a number of musicians cited Syd as a primary influence in their musical efforts. Most notable was David Bowie - who covered See Emily Play - who has cited Syd as a primary influence in his creative process throughout his career.

Syd's influence upon the other members of Pink Floyd continued long after his departure. While Dark Side Of The Moon and The Wall also dealt with mental health issues, Syd's affect on the band was best recognized by the album Wish You Were Here. which was composed as a tribute to their troubled bandmate in both style and lyrics - especially in the song Shine On You Crazy Diamond with these specific lyrics:

Remember when you were young? You shone like the sun.

The band spokeswoman said a small, private funeral would be held. No other memorials have been announced as of blogtime.

Ok, that's it for this brief unhiatus. Here's a few Wikilinks to suck on, eh?

Go read what I left out. Syd, rest in peace for once with our thanks for a lot of fun trips.

 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #2

Battle against the Nervians

Came across this one while looking up info on NERVA, the Nuclear Engine for Rocket Vehicle Application project. I'd typed Nervia by mistake, and got this one. It was a battle in which Julius Caesar beat the shit out of a Gaul tribe called the Nevians so badly that all the neighboring tribes up and surrendered to Caesar, thus giving him control of most of Belgium.

 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #3

Nerva

Marcus Cocceius Nerva, the first Roman emperor to select his successor among the most deserving men and adopting him, a practice that led to a line of Emperors that is known as the "Five Good Emperors".

 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #4

Godzilla

I've got a bunch of classic Godzilla flicks now in my collection. The pisser is that I don't have time to watch them. Anyway, go see what Wikipedia has to say about the Big G.

 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #5

Kinky Friedman

This guy might become Texas' next governor. Why? Because a) Rick Perry's a closet poofter, b) the Democratic candidate's a nobody nobody's got a clue as to who or what he's about, and c) Carole Keaton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn is an anal-retentive, pedantic, swaggering geriatric bimbo cunt from the depths of Hell that nobody in their right mind wants to be Governor.

One Quick Item: I'm still tied up big time, but I *had* to make time to post this one entry, and it's a doozy:

This One Really Has Bells *AND* Whistles, Kids!

What this is, kids, is a movie compiled from both images and data from the Huygens probe landing on Titan back in January of last year. This is clearly the most entertaining video NASA and/or ESA has released in possibly the history of both agencies, and is really worth the download. It actually has bells *and* whistles, and shows you exactly what Huygens saw on its descent through Titan's soupy atmosphere on the way to the ground. At the same time, you get additional data and aural cues as to what's going on, and how conditions are changing during the descent. Pay attention to the last few seconds before touchdown, because they're worth playing back!

The link for this movie is here. Another one with a more "airline cockpit view" can be found here. Both are worth the download, even if they are encoded in the dreaded (cr)Apple Quickslime. The whole story behind the imaging can be found on ESA's Cassini-Huygens website.

NASA and ESA did good with this one. Which probably means the NASA PAO was left out of the loop this time..

Ok, back to work. Here's a Wikilink to stick in your pocket and play with:

The little probe and the last of the Battlestar Galactica missions. Frack Congress, the hippies and the welfare cheats, we *NEED* more missions to the planets like this. A *LOT* more. One every goddamn month.

Quick Update: OMBlog will be taking a short hiatus for the next few days, as bill collecting *and* some website work has to take priority. Until then, I'll throw in a few Wikilinks to tide you over:

I'm currently in the middle of my annual re-read of Baxter's Voyage, which needs to be made into a movie, dammit.

 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #2

Guns of the South

Harry Turtledove's alternative fiction "What If?" novel that has the Confederacy winning the War Betwixt the States with the help of a group of 21st Century Afrikaner Resistance Neo-Nazis and about 150,000 AK-47's. Despite the sound of the plot, it's probably the only really objective, unbiased analysis of just what that war was really all about, and how slavery wasn't the actual cause or really the motivation from the beginning, but it was the weapon the Yankees used to win.

 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #3

Spam

The Hormel tinned meat product. So much ado is made about unsolicited e-mailbox flooding by the digital form that the material original is usually ignored these days.

 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #4

Cinco De Mayo

Since I may not be back by May 5th, let me give a shout out to all my Hispanic friends out there. Although we may be divided over the whole illegals and the "day without an immigrant" fiasco, let us not forget to give our brothers down South of the Rio Grande their props for having kicked the living dogshit out of the Frogs back in 1862 and won their independence. And back then, the Frogs were still slightly formidable, as not all of Napoleon's influence had worn off by then.

 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #1

Supertramp

Remember when these guys had a career? That Long Way Home they took obviously took a wrong turn somewhere...

For The Lazy Bimbo Receptionist In Your Life. I Hope Your Ears Are Burning, Misty...

Item: From the "Gifts For The Lazy Bimbo Receptionist In Your Life" department. This is a USB Nail Polisher, and it's designed to be powered off your USB port. Which means that while your receptionist is sitting on her butt trying to look attractive, she can give herself a manicure the high-tech way. Damn thing comes with about as many attachments as a USB vibrator - which, no doubt, you've probably already bought for her last Chrisnukkah - and can run off of a pair of AA cells if the system at her desk is too old to have a USB port. Oh, believe me, there's quite a few of them out there. Unless, of course, you're in charge of a state agency, which means you've probably given the bimbo a fracking server with 2TB of storage just so she can process a memo faster than anyone else, while the people do the real work have to use those old 300MHz PII boxes because you wasted your budget on your front desk trophy.

But I cynically digress - and one of these days I'll tell that story from my Texas AG's Office days - if you really need one of these for that paper filer of yours, you can get one from Audio Cubes for about ~$60.00 USD.

As If A Stock Roomba Doesn't Screw With Your Cat Enough As It Is...

Item: From the "Jetsons On Acid" department. Not much to say about this one, other than it's replacement skins for a Roomba. You can find these over at iRobot - wonder when they're gonna get sued for that name! - for about $20.00 USD. Note that if none of the rather trippy designs they have to offer do anything for you, you can always upload your own image and they'll make a custom skin for you at an additional cost. A word to the wise: these guys are a bit on the prudish side, so no picks of your Ex having been Photochopped into blowing a dog so that she's forever licking the carpet in proxy....

This Wiki's made for OMBlogging, and that's just what I'll do:

And they claim these things are better than CF cards, kids...

He Who Plays In Ice Cream Stalls, Rolls His Ice Cream In Little Balls...?

Item: From the "How to play with your food for fun and profit" department. Ichablob sends in this gadget. It's the Play & Freeze Ice Cream Maker. How it works is like this. You take what's essentially is a plastic ball with another ball in it. You pack the outside shell with rock salt and ice, and then fill the inside ball with those ice cream ingredients you buy at the store next to those ice cream makers that are essentially converted rock tumblers you stick in the freezer and hope they don't burn out. Then you roll the ball around for ten minutes or so and if all goes well you'll have freshly frozen ice cream inside.

Truthfully, this is marketed towards the kids the same way those old Sno-Cone ice shavers were back in the 60's. The fact that it only makes about a pint of ice cream at a time might be appealing to some moms who're afraid their kids will make gallons of the stuff and spoil their appetites. Hey, moms, here's a clue: Once your kids figure out that it's cheaper to bug you to buy pre-made ice cream from your grocers' freezer, they'll quit bugging you to buy the mix. Especially after the first time they try it and it comes out runny *and* either too weak or too strong.

Hey, I may sound cynical, but I bought one of those "slushee" cups that supposedly allowed you to stir Cokes and Dr. Peppers inside a frozen metal canister and turned the soda in to slush. Those worked about as well as Laetril did on cancer, which is why when I hear something is "as simple as rolling a ball", I have my doubts. Still, if you think you need one of these, then you can get one from Ice Cream Revolution. MSRP is about $30.00 USD, but don't be surprised if Wal-Mart has these in the summer junk section just in time for Chrisnukkah.

Man, You Could Have Some Graffiti Fun With This Gadget.

Item: From Goombah21 and MarqueeMarque comes this one. The Xyron Design Runner is an interesting concept in taking the good old rubber stamp and putting a high-tech spin in it. Instead of the reverse-relief rubber surface you press in an ink pad before pressing it to the paper, the Design Runner is a mouse-sized portable printer that prints adjustable designs directly onto the surface of your choice. Best of all, unlike those rubber stamps you can print in any combination of three colors, although those colors at this time are limited to red, green and black(*). It's battery operated, so there's no cords to run through the fresh ink and smear the print before it dries. You can also get font, icon, clipart and wingding packages for it as well.

To be honest, back when I worked for Summagraphics, we'd toyed around with this same concept on paper, but that was ten years ago when the electronics hadn't shrunk enough to get the printer down to mouse-size. At the same time, we'd looked at something that was more like that digital paint roller I OMBlogged about last week or so, in that instead of stamping icons and such you'd run it from one side to the other to print labels and mini-banners. Anyone who's ever used a hand-held scanner knows what a clusterfrack that sort of maneuver can be, which is probably why we never got that gadget off the paper and into prototype.

Anyway, if you need one of these, you can get them direct from Xyron for about $159.00 USD, although I understand Office Depot will start carrying them for about $20.00 USD cheaper. Note that the ink refills will run you about $40.00 USD a pop, which means that someone at Xyron definitely read HP's white paper on wallet rape via consumables.

(*) Yeah, yeah, I know there's the argument that black isn't technically a color as it's created by the absence of color. Go figure...

Baa Baa Black Sheep, Have You Any Spam?

Item: ByteMite sends in this one, and considering the subject, it doesn't surprise me that he's into pictures of sheep. The only problem is that some of these obviously aren't naked. Apparently over in the Netherlands - that's somewhere between Englandland, France and Sweden, with a little Ukraine thrown in to gum up the works - conditions get cold enough that the sheep need blankets on them to keep them warm after they've been sheared. Ok, I can buy that. But even in Europe, the dreaded demon of Product Placement rears its ugly head in triumph. Some companies are now offering these blankets either gratis or very, very cheap to farmers in exchange for putting them on their livestock while they graze in the fields. The idea is that anyone taking a nice drive out in the country to see how the rural folk live will wind up getting adverts and sales propaganda while they commune with nature.

Heh, if Nike can do this with the hood jackets for the drug thugs, I guess using sheep as moving billboards isn't too far-fetched. But then again, just imagine if Davy Crockett had carved in that tree not only that he'd killed that bear on that spot, but also listed what brand of knife he used, where he bought it, and the web address for their online store...

Yeah, But Will It Dice Julienne Fries In Seconds?

Item: From the "Ron Popiel, Come Back, All Is Forgiven!" department. Check out this Cordless OneTouch Can Opener by Daka Designs. You simply place it on the can, turn it on, let it go, and it walks around that can and opens it up in seconds flat. According to the designer, it was originally designed for senior citizens who were too old/feeble/crippled/whatever to apply the hand pressure even some of the electric can openers still require. If the specs are to be trusted, this can opener will open over a hundred cans on a set of batteries, and works on any size can that uses the standard can shape.

Of course, this should come as no surprise - Daka has an infomercial online demonstrating their product. Neither the spammercial nor their really HTML 1.0 website have any pricing information, but I fully expect when your local station finishes their normal broadcasting for the evening, you'll be able to get one for about $49.99 USD. And if you order right then, they'll probably throw in a set of self-slicing Ginsu Knifes as a free gift, too....
 

Ok, *Maybe* A "No Homers Allowed" Sign...

Item: From Roodee comes this submission for the "Stupid Treehugging Hippie Tricks" department. Woodworker Tom Chudleigh originally set out to build boats, but somehow ended up making really sophisticated treehouses shaped like spheres. Called Free Spheres, these can be suspended via wires not only from your standard big climbing trees, but from any other stationary object, even two buildings. Starting at $45,000, the basic sphere is about 10' in diameter, and is sturdy enough to withstand the usual weathering you'd find in the woods that always made that treehouse you build at a kid unsafe after two years. Right now the Free Sphere is just a sphere, floor and window as seen above, but Chudleigh's plans for improvement include a separate bathroom sphere, as well as plumbing, electricity and other necessities for the basic sphere.

Nope, I doubt anyone'll hang a "No Girls Allowed" sign on something this cool.

Hmm. Wikilink time. This one's a little on the wild side, kids:

You know, the only difference between Pam and Maren Jensen was that Pam could at least halfway act...

Item: From the "Recycling w/o getting the Hippies involved" department. Javvi sends this one in, and it's actually a rather neat idea.

So, Do Those In First Class Get First Dibs On New Releases?

No, it's not one of Soleri's Arcology dreams, but it's close. It's a library built on old, discarded commercial aircraft fuselages. According to the designer, engineering firm Lot-Ex on their website, the concept works like this:

Over 200 Boeing 727 and 737 fuselages are stacked in a north-south slant in relation to sun exposure for energy efficiency. Two shifts in the direction of the main axis of the fuselages generate two large open spaces within the stack.

The building utilizes the space inside the fuselages to contain and organize functions that require enclosed spaces - such as book collections, meeting rooms and administration offices, - while the 2 large open spaces house a large atrium with all the reading areas on one side and two auditoriums on the other.

The library program is centered around the large glazed atrium, which develops vertically through the entire cross section of the building. The lower part of the atrium, located on the second level and accessible directly from the new plaza thru escalators and elevators, functions as a lobby and information center. At each upper level, the reading areas bridge between the two opposite interior facades generated by the cross sections of the fuselages that look onto the atrium.

A transparent LCD system is integrated in the atrium glazing and projects the library activities onto the new plaza expanding its presence on the outside with moving images and text.

The fuselage is the only part of a decommissioned airplane that cannot be effectively recycled. The cost of its demolition exceeds the profit of aluminum resale. A huge amount of fuselages lays in the deserts of the western states. Boeing 727 and 737 are historically the most sold commercial planes and therefore the most common in these graveyards. They are sold at very low prices completely stripped and in great structural conditions.

The fuselage becomes the basic module of this building. It is insulated and furnished according to the program. The internal subdivision generated by the existing floor joists is used to respond to functional needs: the upper section is used for inhabitation while the lower one houses independent and interconnected mechanical systems: HVAC, electrical, cabling, and a conveyor belts network for the mechanical distribution of the books.

And to be honest, this is probably the one large-scale recycling concept I've ever seen that frackin' makes sense. The fuselage is really the most sturdily-built portion of any aircraft - after all, it has to hold the wings, tail, landing gear, whatever fuel's not in the wings, avionics, luggage/cargo, and your fat asses - and tearing one apart has got to be about as expensive as building one in the first place. This design takes advantage of that structure and actually *uses* it. Remember, most recycling methods require whatever's being recycled to be degradable in some way. All this one does is require some internal rearrangement of the compartments so as to give some extra comfort - read: table space, removing every other isle for more legroom and one seat per isle side so you don't have some fat bitch breaking your PDA in your pocket when she slams the armrest down without looking at what she's doing - and you've got the most comfortable library ever conceived.

And the best thing of all? From what I've been able to gather, this idea isn't something some Greenpeaced tree-hugging hippie radical dope-smoking unwashed pervert concocted while tripping on bathtub acid. Real, live, educated, intelligent ENGINEERS came up with it. Go figure.

Yeah, yeah, I know. Some of those 727 seats that Boeing installed in the old days weren't too damned comfortable. But they beat the frack out of what you find in today's libraries. You know, those old wooden chairs that were bought and paid for when your grandparents were trying to check out Ulysses after it had been censored...
 

Item: Jherrod sends in this one for the "Tilting at windmills 2k" department.

If You Can't Beat'Em, Sell Advertising On'Em!

Now, I'll be honest with you kids. Setting up Windmill Farms isn't such a bad idea for setting up an alternative energy source. At least, until we kill all the hippies and make nuclear power cheap and affordable once again. However, as we all know one of the biggest complaints about setting up massive windmill farms is that the traditional prop design just takes up way too much space. And besides, it can actually be a hazard to those idiots stupid enough to walk under one while one of the blades reaches its nadir.

Of course, there's been this rather interesting alternative design that's been around about as long as the traditional prop jobs, and is actually quite a bit more efficient and reliable. Where the prop jobs require they be mounted so that they swivel to keep in the direction of the wind, using an Axially-Mounted Turbine - that is, one that's mounted so it spins on the pole and not around it, if you get my drift - means that you can mount the blades higher up out of reach of children, farm animals and inbreds, and still get power no matter which way the wind blows.

Sounds great, huh? But then again, there's a lot of people out there - read: oil, gas and coal firms - whose propaganda machines have always put a negative spin - no pun intended - on windmill power. Hell, they even poo-poo the good, old fashioned windmills that pump water from deep wells out on the farms! And the major argument they use besides claims of higher initial costs and excessive real estate? They're ugly.

Well, according to XCO2, they've solved the ugly problem by embedding LEDs in each of its three S-shaped blades. As with those goofy clocks and desktop fans that are all the rage these days, the LEDs fire in sequence as the blades rotate, painting images that appears to hang in the air. The LEDs are powered - duh - by the power generated by the turbine itself, and the full color motion images are clearly visible day and night thanks to the use of some really powerful LEDs.

In case you're wondering, each Quietrevolution generates around 6KW of electricity, and only takes up about 15' of vertical space on that pole. As for costs and other technical specs, you can grab this PDF and read them for yourself. Personally, I could see every home having one of these so you can send nasty messages to your neighbors when they play their stereos too loud in the middle of the night, or to really have some fun showing team spirit when the local pro ball club starts screwing up as usual.

An Image From The Patent Submission. Imagine This Thing Squeezing Too Tight!

Item: From the "Let's make fun of OM for gits and shiggles" department comes this one from - you guessed it - ByteMite. Ever felt that bathtub you bought with your house was a little too deep, shallow, wide or narrow? Well, Sony has a new high-tech gimmick coming to rape your wallet of whatever it has left after the last gadget they conned you into buying. Called the Bathman by its inventor, Sony engineer Tetsujiro Kondo, this tub has interior walls made of a strong flexible polymer backed by elastic cushioning panels. These panels are supported by electrically controlled pressure rams, which in turn give the bath's interior walls their overall shape.

According to the patent, a bath-mounted controller would then be used to adjust the rams, which if you stayed awake in geometry or physical science class will adjust the height and width of the bath's walls. Now, if you *did* stay awake when basic displacement was explained, you're probably wondering what will happen if you adjust the bath space while the damn things full.  Kondo suggests in the patent app that the controller would use a "water level sensor to only allow the tub to adjust to shapes that can safely contain the water within it". Yeah, that makes sense, although I could see a cheaper means by simply incorporate one of those overflow relief drains that have been standard on sinks since indoor plumbing became fashionable.

Anyway, you can read the patent application in all it's glory here. I wonder if the toilet that widens to fit your own fat arse will soon follow, Bytie...

Hmm, I've got more to OMBlog, but nature's screaming right now. Anyway, here's a Wikilink:

Guess since it's going to be underneath your beer in the near future, you'd probably better know just what the process is all about, eh?

Let's get caught up on the geek gadget backlog today, shall we?

Gold-Inlay Redwood, Move Over For Big Bamboo.

Item: From the "Big bAMBU" department. Sick of plastic-cased keyboards? Evergreen Japan has a polished bamboo keyboard and matching mouse. Bamboo is surprisingly durable, and over in the Asian countries where this shit grows like mimosas do in Texas, they actually make hardwood flooring out of bamboo. Which means you can hit someone over the head with this thing and it'll probably be just as unbreakable as those original IBM 84-Key jobs were back when IBM actually gave a frack about the PC industry.

And here's the real surprise: they're not *that* expensive. The keyboard will run you ~$70.00 USD, while the mouse goes for ~$35.00 USD. They're not sold in the US just yet, but you can order them from Evergreen Japan. Be advised their site is in Japanese, so let Google translate it for you, geek-san.

The Only Good Use For One Of These Tins Outside Of The Camping Kit

Item: From the "Even MORE Stupid Mouse Tricks" department. Duck Nukem, Jherrod and Tegan^3 all send in this one. It's a completely functional mouse housed inside - duh - an Altoids tin. The DIY mouse was cobbled together with parts from a Logitech optical mouse, and while it works perfectly it's probably about as ergonomic as a wet bar of soap. In any case, while the designer, drewish, doesn't provide the instructions, he does have a Flckr page with a few good photos showing how it all was assembled. Or at least, the general idea. Your mousage may vary

I've Seen The Rubber Version Of This, And It Works Quite Well.

Item: From the "Floppy ain't Sloppy" department. Eleksen has introduced a new line of of fabric-based interface devices aimed at users of the new "Origami" PC alternatives Micro$oft is pushing who hate the fact that the damn things don't have anything resembling a keyboard. As they'll come in both Bluetooth and USB flavors, they also have an appeal for those who need them for the even smaller PDAs.

As far as features go, the model you see folded above you boasts the following:

For those interested, Eleksen apparently doesn't sell directly to the public, but most of the PDA resellers are promising to have them in stock shortly. MSRP is about $120.00 USD.

FYI, this is the same company that designed the Kenpo iPod jacket, and also plans to release a line of backpacks, suitcases and other textile and fabric-based items that have controls for audio players built right in.

Yeah, But Can You Garrote Someone With One?

Item: What is it with Brando.Com and all these stupid mice tricks? This time, they've got a retractable corded optical mouse with a USB hub inline. Granted, I could see a possible use for this mess if I had limited desk space and needed to keep the cords to a minimum *and* needed a couple of extra USB ports in the back. but that's about it. But if you *do* need one, you can get one direct from Brando. And no, it doesn't come with either a laser pointer or a thermometer.

Finally! Something Useful In Today's OMBlog!

Item: On the other hand, Brando actually has something I want. It's a USB 2.0 to SATA / IDE Cable, and what it does is something I've been known to do on occasion with my desktop systems. It allows you to hang a bare IDE drive off a system without having to crack open the case and pray you've got an IDE port free. It works with both ATA and the newer SATA drives, and you can actually run both off of one cable at the same time. It also comes with a power supply as the IDE bus doesn't have a power channel in the design.

Anyway, you can get one from Brando.Com for only about ~$35.00 USD, although one of my contacts at Frey's claims they've got these on order and they should be in the stores in a couple of months. If you want a really good, in-depth review of this gadget, check out what Bona Fide Reviews has to say.
 

Item: Finally, here's one from G00ber for the "Useless Serial Bus Device" department. Meet the Hanaro Plus, billed by the manufacturer as the "world's first integrated ubiquitous device". As the photo says, it performs about nine different functions through one USB port, which *if* it had a really high-res camera attached I could see being worth buying. Yeah, my standards are a bit higher, so you kids might find this one a bit more useful than I would. In any case, these can be had from KJ Global for ~$135.00 USD. Of course, you'd think the damn thing would have a desk lamp built into it for that price...

That's enough tech junk for today. Guess it's time for a Wikilink before the price at the pumps go up again:

This is eventually going to replace IDE, so we'd better get a grip on what those little dinky cables are all about, eh?

Item: From the "Yet another reason (cr)Apple sucks" department. A San Jose, CA Court of Appeal is set to hear Apple's suit against an as-yet unnamed "John Doe" for product leaks in 2004. At stake is the answer an unsettled legal question that has First Amendment implications: Should online journalists receive the same rights as traditional reporters?

Apple claims they should not. Its lawyers say in court documents that Web scribes are not legitimate members of the press - hah! - when they reveal details about forthcoming products that the company would prefer to keep confidential. And while public and professional sentiment was universally against this interpretation, apparently Apple's legal goons were glib enough to convince Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge James P. Kleinberg to ruled in March of 2005 that Apple's attempt to subpoena the electronic records of an Apple news site could proceed under law. Kleinberg's excuse for this went as follows:

"Unlike the whistleblower who discloses a health, safety or welfare hazard affecting all, or the government employee who reveals mismanagement or worse by our public officials, (the Macintosh news sites) are doing nothing more than feeding the public's insatiable desire for information."

Which, of course, was damn near verbatim the argument that Apple submitted before the judge. Needless to say, the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) is on top of this one like white on rice, and according to Kurt Opsahl, an EFF staff attorney who is arguing the case, "The California Court of Appeals has a long history of protecting freedom of the press...We're hopeful they'll continue to do so."

News.Com has an in-depth piece on this one. Better read it now before (cr)Apple demands it be pulled too...

Item: Speaking of (cr)Apple, MacAttack, Bytemite, and G00b3r all send this link in. Wall Street Journal's tech columnist Walter Mossberg has released the WSJ's latest Annual Buying Guide for new computers, and this year's focus is how to choose a system this year that will still be powerful enough to run Micro$oft's Vista when it's finally released early next year. One of the revelations he makes is that just because a box has a Vista Capable sticker on it doesn't mean it'll actually run the damn thing when it's available:

"If you have a computer with the weaker specs, Vista will still give you enhanced security and built-in desktop search. But you won't get the dramatic new graphical look and feel that makes Vista look more like the Mac OS. Your computer will look like an evolved version of Windows XP, and it will probably run only the wimpiest edition of Vista, called Home Basic."

In the end, Mossberg give some sound advice and some really unsound advice: wait till next year to get a PC with Vista pre-installed, or buy one of the new Intel Macs. I'll leave it to you which of those is the really (cr)Appy advice. Anyway, for those of us who *have* to make that investment now due to budget restrictions - read: either you spend the $$$ now, or you lose it, say the comptroller goons - Mossberg also lists all the basic specs you system will need to meet in order to run either Vista Home Basic or the full-blown version. For those who don't want to read the WSJ because it's generally boring as fracking your pet rock, here's what you'll need inside that fancy case you bought from Alienware:

• Memory: Microsoft suggests 512 megabytes of memory, or RAM, for stripped-down Vista, and it will probably recommend one gigabyte of memory for full Vista. But based on experience with the company's guidelines, I strongly suggest doubling those amounts. Even on a cheap machine, I'd get one gigabyte of memory, and if you want to run Vista with all its features, I suggest two gigabytes.
   

• Video: Stripped-down Vista can run on any graphics hardware that can support what's called SVGA, or a resolution of 800 by 600. The hardware should also support a Microsoft technology called DirectX 9. This includes many integrated graphics systems, which do away with a separate video card in favor of graphics chips bolted to the mother board.
   

• Full Vista will be best with a separate, or "discrete," graphics card that has at least 128 megabytes of dedicated video memory. These cards also need support for DirectX 9. In addition, however, they must also support Microsoft software called "WDDM" and "Pixel Shader 2." If your eyes are rolling right now, don't fret. Microsoft officials say nearly all discrete graphics cards on the market today meet these specs, as will the latest integrated graphics systems, such as Intel chip sets labeled 945 or higher.
   

• Processor: For stripped-down Vista, a processor running at 800 megahertz or faster should be sufficient, according to Microsoft. For full Vista, the speed rises to one gigahertz. I'd edge higher if your budget allows, but you don't need the fastest processor.
   

• Hard disk: Disk storage is already copious enough for Vista, and buying large amounts is cheap. For stripped-down Vista, I'd go for at least 60 gigabytes of hard-disk space. For full Vista, I'd boost that to 160 gigabytes, to accommodate lots of music and video.

For Some Reason This Does *NOT* Impress Me.

Of course, if your box doesn't meet these specs, or if Vista can't prove your copy is a legit one, the new GUI - code named Aero - won't show you all the bells and whistles. All those fancy schmancy gimmicks that are supposed to make Vista look like the frackwit-centric Mac OS - translucent windows, candy-coated buttons, annoying animations - won't work unless your hardware is up to specs, or you actually shelled out the bucks for the damn thing *and* registered it. One thing that has been reported, however, that *might* help sell Intel Macs, tho: it appears that the mechanism that forces Vista to constantly check to see if it's legit is miraculously disabled when Vista is run on an Intel Mac. Anyone wanna bet that this will be patched before Vista ships next year?

Yep, as you can see, I got rather political today with OMBlog. And since some of you might have a bad taste in your mouth - especially you Mac Geeks like my buddy DJ David, here's a Wikilink for you to suck on:

This actually came up as a random Wikilink, kids. And while it's a short Wiki entry, what was really surprising is that the Texas beer industry is now as merger-confused as the oil industry is. Since I gave up on beer while still in Junior High, I was really surprised to find that Pabst, Pearl, Strohs and Lone Star are all the same company, and probably the same piss-colored swill that rednecks think is Heaven-sent...

Item: From the "R2-D2: The First Generation" department: As if a beer cooler with a computer-controlled drink mixer wasn't enough, here comes the Roll Bar. The damn may look like a cross between one of those PVC trash cans with wheels and a dishwasher, but once you get past the rather plastic exterior you find it's a mobile outdoor refrigerator. Battery powered, it provides ~five hours of cooling to keep its contents ice cold and right next to you while you're enjoying the great outdoors. It also has racks for wine bottles and glassware, and the top serves as a serving area and even a chopping board for lemons and limes for those drinks that require such. It also holds up to 57 12oz cans, which should suffice for most parties unless you've got an even number of people drinking, at which time a fight should be expected over who gets the extra beer.

Product specs? You bet:

• A truly "mobile" refrigerator
• 50 liter cooling capacity
• Holds 57 12-ounce cans
• Active cooling for up to 5 hours once it's unplugged from a 110-volt, or 12-volt power source
• Large, smooth wheels
• Extremely quiet Peltier cooling system
• High-tech Iso Titan™ insulation foam
• High insulation power
• Dent resistant
• Top surface useful as a tabletop
• Adjustable inner shelves
• Illuminated cooling cabinet
• Includes bottle caddy to hang on side
• Comes with AC and DC adapters

Interested? It's available from Firststreet Online. MSRP is ~$400.00 USD, which is about what a cheap, no-frills fridge runs these days from Sears, but then again the one from that catalog doesn't come with wheels.

"It Slices, It Dices, It Makes Julienne Eyes In Seconds!"

Update: Remember that Do-It-Yourself Lasik kit? Well, JoeBlob sends in a picture of the complete kit. He also points out that the manufacturer, Lasik At Home, is also admitting that the device isn't FDA approved. Not that this comes as no surprise, because shooting yourself in the eye with a laser is *not* something -anyone- should be doing by themselves, much less at home.

The Latest Technology, Courtesy Of The Spanish Inquisition...

Item: Yeah, it appears this is turning into a Goofy And Stupid Gadget Tricks day here on OMBlog. ByteMite submits this one, and it wouldn't surprise me if he's bought one. It's an Extender Plus, and it promises to provide a solution to a problem that every male has worried about at least once in their lives.

Yep, it's penis stretcher. And if I understand the methodology, it's similar to that technique they use to fix one leg that's smaller than the other, but without the cutting in two and letting the body splice it together as if it were healing a broken bone. You simply insert your member through the padded ring, stick the head through the loop, tighten the loop - but not too tight, because you don't want to cut the damn thing off! - and then extend the rods so that it stretches your wank a bit on the taught side. *IF* this thing works as advertised, then over a period of time your body will eventually grow more internal cartilage structure to reduce the stress caused by the stretching, and your manhood will become more endowed, and you'll be more appealing to women who, according to all sources, believe that size matters über alles.

Yeah, I can just see Rhiannon, Jordan, Kaylee and the rest of the Sugar's Austin gals laughing at anyone who uses one of these, because they're more pathetic than anyone who actually thinks they *need* one. But if you *do* really, truly believe that you need a longer wanger to dangle, then you might check out the eBay listing where they're selling this for ~$180.00 USD. Be warned, tho - the seller has some really annoying forced audio app loaded that has some quack speaking to you about the value of being hung.

Once again, the old adage applies: "A fool and his money are soon parted. And eBay makes it even easier!"

Item: Speaking of your final resting place, here's one for those of you seeking something unique in coffin design. This big pill-shaped box is the Uono Cocoon Coffin. According to Uoni's founder, Andreas Spiegel, this sleek oval casket was launched with a rather different business plan than most coffin manufacturers employ - he wants people to buy his Cocoons long before they get to the funeral home!

And honestly, he does sort of have a point. The way the funeral industry has worked for, well, ever since people started burying their dead, is that mourning families will buy just about any casket on the spot just so they can drop grampa in the hole and get on with reading the will, While this makes for an extremely stable marked, it makes for a really creatively sterile one as well. In fact, about the only variation you might find is in the style of the handles and the color of the inside padding.

The Cocoon comes in any one of fourteen standard colors, but if you're really picky about what you want God/Yahweh/Roddenberry to find your body stored in, you can use their Haute Couture service to come up with a custom color scheme to best suit you during your dirt nap. However, to be totally honest, the purpose of a coffin - to protect your remains until the Resurrection and/or cloning becomes cheap *and* legal - is to be durable. Since the Cocoon is biodegradable, so as to be attractive to all those treehugging hippies, it's made from jute fibers and coated with a water-based varnish. Which means that when ground water seeps in, it will dissolve over time.

In any case, if the pine box isn't your style, hop over to Uono's Website and check out the details in more detail. MSRP for these coffins are ~$3500.00 USD, but expect the custom jobs to go even higher.

And After A Few Weeks Of Wiping Your Feet On Them,
They'll Even Smell Like The Real Things, Too!

Item: Ok, enough death. From IwerksFan comes this submission for the "Homesick Yankee" department. One of the things about those big cities is that they all have really neat manhole covers in really fancy patterns and with their names on them. These things, despite their weight, can get ripped off as keepsakes much in the same way that someone'll hork a street sign that happens to have the same name as themselves. However, while stealing a street sign won't usually cause any harm save to the taxpayers, removing a manhole cover can - and probably will - result in someone falling down the hole.

For those damnyankees and even welcome Yankees who are homesick, there's these reminders of home. These are throw rugs modelled after manhole covers from large metropolitan cities. Made from 100% recycled truck tires and nylon flocked, they're touted as being extremely durable and suitable for both indoor and outdoor use. At two feet in diameter, they'll also stand out a sore thumb, just like a real manhole cover would in the street.

These throw rugs are available from Perpetual Kid for $23.99 USD each. Currently available are manhole covers from New York, Boston, Chicago, Los Angeles and even London for all you Limeys who crossed over the big pond.

And You Thought The Polish Navy Spoon Was A Dumb Joke...

Item: From the "MIT Students have too much time on their hands" department. We've seen electric knives and forks, but now the spoon's been given a technological makeover. Some kids at MIT have created an intelligent spoon. This spoon has inbuilt sensors that can judge acidity, temperature, salinity and viscosity, and can be connected to your PC to allow the data to be processed with special software, which then tells you to what to do next. Things like adding more salt, stir the pot for another two minutes, or even taste the mess to see if you were smart to trust the recipe or not.

When you really get down to brass tacks, this isn't so much an intelligent spoon as it is just a spoon studded with sensors. To make it work, you really need a computer to hook it up to, which means to really be functional in the kitchen it would need to be a self-contained unit - a "spooncorder", for you Trekkies.

Of course, what's really surprising that since this is an MIT design project, the damn thing does *not* have an alcohol sensor. You'd think with their reputation for designing their own high-tech stills they'd have included such sensors to assist in the brewing of dormroom hootch.

Wiki, Wiki, on the Web. What random link do you now ebb?

Someone loaned me a copy of the recent BBC remastering of the original Quatermass and the Pit, first aired in 1958. It still holds up surprisingly well damn near 50 years later, and if any one of the Quatermass films just frackin' begs to be redone today, it's this one, period!

And yeah, I'm watching this just as soon as I upload this OMBlog...

Obit: The news services are just now confirming what those of us on sci.space.history found out earlier today. Famed US Navy test pilot Scott Crossfield was killed in a private aircraft crash yesterday in northern Georgia. He was 84. Crossfield's single-engine Cessna disappeared yesterday morning while on a flight from Prattville, AL to Manassas, VA. Air traffic controllers reportedly lost radar and radio contact with the plane at 11:15am, and severe thunderstorms were present in area at the time. Word was leaked to several aviation and space history buffs on the usenet newsgroups Wednesday afternoon, although the news services didn't pick up the story until early Thursday morning. According to the Georgia Civil Air Patrol, the wreckage of Crossfield's plan was found this afternoon in a mountainous area near Ranger, Ga., about 50 miles northwest of Atlanta, according to the Civil Air Patrol.

Scott Crossfield; After His First X-15 Flight (L), And During A Lecture In 2004 (R)

Those who've seen The Right Stuff know that Crossfield was best known as the man who first reached Mach 2, twice the speed of sound, on November 20th, 1953, in a Douglas D-558-II Skyrocket, He was a member of that select, legendary group of test pilots stationed at Muroc/Edwards Air Force Base in the 50's and 60's.

Born Albert Scott Crossfield on October 2nd, 1921, in Berkeley, CA, Crossfield joined the Navy during World War II, training as a fighter pilot and flight instructor. Following the war, Crossfield worked at the University of Washington's Kirsten Wind Tunnel while earning degrees in aeronautical engineering. He joined the National Advisory Committee for Aeronautics' (NACA) High-Speed Flight Station - now NASA's Dryden Flight Research Facility - at Edwards as an aeronautical research pilot in 1950.

Over the next five years, Crossfield flew nearly all of the experimental aircraft tested at Edwards, including the X-1, XF-92, X-4, X-5, D-558-I and the D-558-II Skyrocket, which as mentioned before he flew to Mach 2. He flew a total of 99 flights in the X-1 and D-558-II, giving him at the time more experience with rocket-powered aircraft than any other pilot in the world.

Crossfield left Edwards and the military to join North American Aviation in 1955, where he became the company's chief engineering test pilot. He played a major role in the design and development of the X-15. He later was hired as prime pilot for the X-15, and ran the plane through its initial qualification tests. On June 8th, 1959, Crossfield completed the X-15's first flight, executing an unpowered glide from 37,550 feet, after being dropped from a B-52 carrier aircraft. On September 17th of that same year, he completed the X-15's first powered flight.

His experiences with the X-15 had some rather explosive results of note. Shortly after the drop on his X-15 third flight, one of the engines exploded. The damage prevented Crossfield from jettisoning the rest of propellants prior to making an emergency landing, In a classic example of piloting skill - the "Right Stuff" - he brought the X-15 down somewhat safely on the rock-hard desert salt flats at Edwards. Somewhat safely, I stress, as the load from the full fuel tanks caused the aircraft's fuselage to collapse just behind the cockpit. Crossfield was uninjured, and the X-15 Model I was repaired and returned to service thanks to his handling of the landing.

.
The X-15 Belly-Buster Landing. Both Crossfield And This Plane Flew Again.

In a more famous "anomaly", On June 8th, 1960, Crossfield was seated in the cockpit of the third X-15 for a static test of its XLR-99 engine when a malfunctioning valve caused a catastrophic explosion. Thanks to the fact that the cockpit was pressurized with nitrogen and not flammable pure O2 - as was the trend that Project Mercury was setting in those days - he was uninjured. Both he and this X-15 flew again, and on November 15th, 1960, Crossfield flew the X-15 on it's first powered flight with the XLR-99 engine. Two flights later, on December 6th, 1960, he concluded the X-15's qualification program in his final X-15 flight. In all, he completed thirty flights in the X-15 - 16 while mated to the B-52, one unpowered glide and 13 powered flights.

Crossfield remained at North American as systems director of test and quality assurance in the company's Space and Information Systems Division, where he oversaw quality, reliability engineering and systems test activities for such programs as the Apollo Command and Service modules, and the Saturn II booster. In 1966, he became the division's technical director for research engineering and test. In 1967, he left NAA and joined Eastern Airlines, serving as a division vice president for research and development and, subsequently, as a staff vice president working with U.S. military and civilian agencies on air traffic control technologies.

After leaving Eastern In 1974, Crossfield spent two years with Hawker-Siddeley - designers of the Harrier Jump Jet - as a senior vice president. In 1977, he joined the U.S. House of Representatives Committee on Science and Technology where he served, until his retirement in 1993, as a technical adviser on all aspects of civil aviation research and development and became one of the nation's leading advocates for a reinvigorated research airplane program.

In later years, Crossfield was inducted into the National Aviation Hall of Fame in 1983, the International Space Hall of Fame in 1988, the Aerospace Walk of Honor in 1990 and the Virginia Aviation Hall of Fame in 1998. He also received the Lawrence Sperry Award, Octave Chanute Award, Iven C. Kincheloe Award, Harmon International Trophy, and the Collier Trophy.

One later honor of note, Crossfield's reputation found him asked to serve as a special consultant a December 17th, 2003, re-enactment of the Wright brothers' flight on the 100th anniversary of their feat near Kitty Hawk, NC. He trained four pilots for the flight attempt in a replica of the Wright Flyer, but poor weather prevented the takeoff.

Scott Crossfield was survived by his wife of sixty years, Alice Crossfield; six children; and two grandchildren. His service to his country will forever be remembered and appreciated. He will clearly be missed.

Sorry, just enough time today for the obit and a Wikilink:

There's so much talk about the X-15 that this beauty tends to get the short-shift, even though it was the first plane to reach Mach 2. This one's for you, Scotty...

Item: From the "Force Will Be With You, Especially In Court" department: Word has it that Ghyslain "Star Wars Kid" Raza and his parents have settled their lawsuit against those school bullies who released the infamous video of Ghyslain doing lightsaber tricks with some sort of lawn tool onto the internet a couple of years ago. The suit demanded ~$350,000 in Canadian currency - about $305,000 USD, depending on the time of day - citing that the experience and the subsequent harassment left Raza unable to attend school. 

The three students accused of circulating the video -  Michaël Caron, Jérôme Laflamme and Jean-Michel Rheault - admitted their roles in the video's dissemination under questioning. Laflamme and Rheault described how a tape that Raza had made of himself and left on a shelf in the school TV studio was discovered by Laflamme in April 2003, and was shown to Rheault, who subsequently made a copy of it and converted it to DiVX and MPG formats. In Laflamme's own words:

"I thought it'd be an interesting prank...I wanted Ghyslain to know what I knew of him, what I had seen,..All I did was take the cassette, digitize it on the studio computer to pull a joke on Ghyslain. After that, I had nothing to do with it."

Caron, who said that he didn't even know the two other pranksters, said in examination that as the digitized caps of the tape were being e-mailed among students, he created a Web site and made copies available for download. According to the court filings, the video - which first appeared on the Internet on the evening of April 14, 2003 - had been downloaded over one million times in the first month it was available for download, and that the video was "so widely circulated that one Internet site solely dedicated to the two-minute clip recorded 76 million visits by October 2004."

The terms of the settlement were not made public, but as with the video that started all this, rest assured it'll leak shortly.

Let's Face It - The IFTF Guys Grew Up On Either "Ark II" Or "Damnation Alley"

Item: For the "The Future Of Detroit Will Always Be In Big Cars" department comes this item from Icon201: While todays raping of our wallets by Big Oil and the dogsuckers of OPEC and Venezuela - soon to be targets of nuclear death, I hope - the trend in the automotive industry is about to go back to small tinfoil boxes with no appeal other than gas mileage. However, over at the Institute for the Future they're apparently still thinking big.

What you see in the picture above is the Pad, which is a concept vehicle of a future decade where gas is cheap again, and drivers want something far more functional and appealing than a Winnebago. Wiring with General Motors, the IFTF has developed this particular concept car as what some have described as an "urban loft with mobility." GM and the IFTF instead prefer to refer to the Pad in more seductive terms. Essentially, the Pad is "a modern alternative for those priced out of Southern California’s escalating housing market.”

Or, in other words, it's a glorified mobile home. But this one has all the trimmings *and* it doesn't look like either a take-out box with wheels, or something that Buckminster Fuller designed to hold a cigar, either.

The Pad's sticker claims it features the following:

• Onboard fuel and water supplies that can last weeks or even months thanks to onboard resource management technology

• Hookups and receivers for Direct TV, OnStar, XM Radio - sorry, no Howard Stern here! - and Satellite Wi-Fi

• A terabyte of "onboard memory" - whether that's RAM or HD storage wasn't made clear

• Six square meters of photovoltaic cells that collect and store the sun’s natural energy

• An electromagnetic suspension for leveling & stabilization

• A personal spa created in conjunction with Kohler

• A food prep/kitchen area developed with appliances by Thermador

• A SkyDeck on top of the vehicle for getting skin cancer supplements

To be honest, I'd actually buy one of these if I had the money. It's goofy enough to be lovable, and it damn sure would beat the hell out of all these foreign streamlined boxes that all look alike that clog up the roads these days. Not that I'd equip it as a mobile home per se, but it sure as frack would work out well as a mobile photo studio a damn sight better than, say, setting one up in a U-Haul truck.

Don't expect this to roll out of Detroit onto the showrooms anytime before your great-grandbrats are born, tho. Remember, it's really rare that the auto manufacturers put anything that looks cool on the roads because the marketing scum think that all we want to buy are simple boxes. That's why we don't have fins on cars anymore, and fancy grillwork is now reserved for the mouths of drug thug rappers. Either way, if you want to find out more about this concept - and the fact that it took awards at the 2006 California Design Challenge - then click here for more info and photos, too.

Last Time You Saw This Many Robots In A Row, Remco Made Them.

Item: As longtime OMBloggers know, I've blogged in the past about some Lost In Space fans with too much cash and spare time on their hands making their own life-sized B-9 Robot replicas, and how they've gotten quite accurate thanks to the original prop being made available for measuring and mold design. Now they've taken it to a new level in the fact that they're essentially mass-producing the damn things.

No, really. If you pop over to lostinspacerobot.com, you can get one for yourself. B9 Creations has finally succeeded in getting a license to produce replicas for hire based on the actual B9 prop, complete with enough bells and whistles to make you actually think there's some intelligence inside that bubble! In fact, you can even get a special one that features made-to-order messages from none other than Dick Tufeld, the Robot's actual voice!

Anyway, there's a whole frackload of features available with this thing, so if you're interested - and you've got about $25.000 USD to blow - then hop over to their website, check out those bells and whistles, and get on the reserved list. Note that the Dick Tufeld made-to-order messages cost about $100.00 USD per message, which means Dick still thinks he can price himself like Charlie Van Dyke.

Will *I* buy one, you ask? Only if it goes about 75mph, and gets about 40MPG...

Stupidest Mouse Trick. Ever.

Item: JoeBlob, Andi, Ted_L, and ByteMite all send this one in for the "Stupidest Mouse Trick Ever" department: What you see is a Skype Phone merged with a mouse. While the idea might appeal to someone with limited desk space and doesn't need cords all over the place, if you've got to use your mouse while you're on the phone you're pretty much fracked.

The company that should Mea Culprit this one? Sony, of all people. Must have been the survivors from their Betamax division who concocted this one, kids. Either way, if you've got the cash to waste on yet another Skype gimmick phone, then they're available from AudioCubes for ~$100.00 USD.

One Looks Like A Dell Server, The Other Looks Like A Safe.
When's The Alienware Version Coming Out?

Item: From the "Never Can Have Too Much Storage" department: Buffalo has announced two new products in their TeraStation line of network storage devices. The one on the right - you *are* looking at the picture, right? - is the TeraStation Home Server. The one on the left is the TeraStation Pro.

The difference between the two is, of course, the target market. The TeraStation Home Server comes in 1.6TB and 2.0TB capacities, and includes four USB 2.0 ports, a USB print server and file server. This model is, obviously, aimed at the home user who needs lots of storage for all those downloaded movies and MP3s. It includes special media server software that was developed by Mediabolic, which handles media management over multiple PCs. Ergo, it's not a media center, but it works well with one.

The TeraStation Pro comes in 2.0TB sizes only, features Active Directory member support, two USB 2.0 ports, four serial ATA hard drives, lockable front panel and even an LCD monitor that will display operational mode, disk usage, network information and any problems. Which means it's aimed more at the business user who needs a frackload of storage with serious security and stability.

The Home Server will be available later this year, with an MSRP of ~$1800.00 USD for the 1.6TB version, while the Pro is available now for about the same price. And if anyone from Buffalo is reading this, I'd be glad to take one of these off your hands for the free plug I've given you here. I just wish that wish would have been granted before I gangloaded my server with those 250GB Western Digital drives I got from Woot last night, because getting 2TB that way takes a *LOT* of case space...
 

I Actually Like This One, Kids...

Item: From the "Try To Piss In *This* Socket!" department: Let's face it, kids. If you haven't stuck a fork in a light socket when you were in diapers at least once, then either your little brother or sister did, with or without your help. Eubiq of Singapore - yeah, that's in China - has come up with what they call a Power Transmission Track.

Essentially, it's an extension of those track lights you see in more modern homes and in art galleries where they need to pin spot the light on the exhibits without cords going all over the place. The track itself is a kind of a long slider on which the plug can fit in at any point. The device comes with special attachments which fits on to the slider and metallic parts are kept to a minimum. You not only can stick a light in the track, you can also stick in as many AC plugs as you need. And since you can put those plugs anywhere on the track, you can essentially never have to worry about whether the cord's long enough to reach the socket.

Eubiq also claims says that it can even be used in the kitchen where water is prone to splash around, and since there are not "sockets" its not possible to get shocked. Of course, if you *really* wanted to push it, you could always try inserting a knife into the track, but making a shorting contact is quite difficult considering the track's design.

In any case, I was told this afternoon by a friend at Home Depot that they plan on carrying this line of products later this year. No MSRP yet, but I suspect they'll be about the same as you'd pay for those track lights.

Tagging One's Turf May Get More Creative...

Item: Jacques and 10: GOTO(Hell); send in this technological innovation: If you really want to get down to it, there really hasn't been a major innovation in painting words on walls since, perhaps, the spray paint can. And there hasn't been anything since the stencil for mass-reproducing a message on a flat surface. Well, Stuart Wood and Florian Ortkrass hope to change that with their PixelRoller.

This contraption can best be described as a dot-matrix printer on a paint roller. According to its creators, all you do is roll the head over the area to be painted, and the roller applies the paint where it's been programmed to.

You can find more info on this here. While this may be a work in progress, if they ever get this gizmo perfected the tagger thugs in the ghettos are going to just love stealing one of these.

Bling Bling For Your Ring Ring

Item: From the "Neiman-Marcus Catalog Meets 42nd Street" department: Speaking of those who have money to blow, here's a cell phone for you. London-based Midas Touch has a case kit that will turn your el-cheapo Nokia slider phone into the type of bling-bling that any drug thug would be proud to make a crack deal or even a booty call on. It's 24k gold electroplate, and as you can guess it ain't cheap. This one'll set you back about $1200.00 USD, but if you just *have* to make a fashion statement in gold and don't want to spring for one of those gold tooth grills, this might be the one for you.

Note that they also will electroplate anything that's electroplatable. That means hood ornaments, obviously. Dodge Ram Charger Ram Head in gold, anyone?

Ouch. Wonder If This Will Be In A Driver's Ed Film Someday?

Item: From the "The Blues Brothers Did The Car Crash Stunt Better" department: Remember a few weeks back when Gizmondo's Stefan Erikkson took one of those Ferrari Enzo’s for a spin and augured it into a light pole at well over 150mph and ripped the damn thing clean in half? Well, the latest turn of events now has Eriksson officially arrested, booked and held without bail on suspicion of grand theft auto.

Nope, not the game, but the real deal.

The story goes like this: When the wreck occurred, the CHiPs found that Eriksson’s blood alcohol registered sky high above the legal limit. However, he managed to evade getting even a ticket by first claiming that his passenger - a guy named "Dietrich" - was the one driving and had fled into the woods after the wreck. "Dietrich" was never found, and Erikkson left the scene.

The shit began hitting Erikkson's fan about a month later when Eriksson’s wife was stopped in Beverly Hills on suspicion of driving without a license in a $600,000 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren. The car had been reported stolen to London’s Scotland Yard, which raised all sorts of red flags on the DMV record, and the car was impounded by police. This threw up more red flags on Eriksson that showed him under a warrant in Englandland for failing to make payments on three sports cars. It also turned out that these cars - including the now half-off Enzo - had been imported to the US and apparently weren't declared properly through customs.

Anyway, last week Erikkson was arrested for GTA, and it also appears that additional charges are expected pending DNA tests, and DUI and fraud charges are pretty much guaranteed. He's also being held without bail because of his now-questionable visa status. Arraignment on this case is expected to begin this week.

Man, why can't this sort of disaster happen to someone who really deserves it, like Steve Jobs?
 

Didn't We See One Of These Floating In "2001"?

That's A Segment Of A Human Spinal Column. In Titanium. Woo.

Item: Technoglitter sends in this one for the "3D Copiers For The Masses" department: ARCAM has developed a new rapid manufacturing and prototyping system that makes 100 percent solid metal parts that's notable in the fact that it will work perfectly with titanium.

Yep, that's right. Titanium. Same stuff that made OXCART and the SR-71 such a bitch to build almost 50 years ago.

Dubbed the ARCAM EBM S400, the device uses a patented CAD-to-Metal process based on Electron-Beam Melting (EBM), which produces parts from metallic powder that's liquified  via an electron beam following a CAD-generated tool path. The powder is liquefied in fine paths, forming the required shape as each fine layer rapidly solidifies. EBM manufacturing is between 3-5x faster than other additive fabrication methods, including the more common Laser Sintering (SLS) method. The difference is that with EBM, the electron beam fully melts the metal particles in a high vacuum which produces a void-free part that is completely solid and free of imperfections caused by oxidation that the SLS method can't avoid.

Anyway, if you can afford one of these, Stratasys is the US reseller you need to talk to. Of course, if you have to ask the price, you probably can't afford one to begin with.

Ok, the ladies are here, and I've got to book. Meanwhile, here's your Wikilink for the day:

There's actually some of you out there who haven't a clue what one of these is, even after some failed software tycoon splits one in two like a chump...

Young's On The Right, Crippen's On The Left.

Item: Today marks another anniversary, kids. 25 years ago this very day, the Space Shuttle Columbia took off on its maiden voyage. I've had a lot to say about the Shuttle program over the years, especially the past three and some change, but for all the unfulfilled promises the Shuttle wound up becoming thanks to Congressional frackups, there's no denying that the basic design for the most part works. Like an airplane, when everything functions properly, the Shuttle goes up and comes down. And the two guys in the photo above had a lot to do with the first flight's success. John Young and Bob Crippen were the best crew that could have been picked for such a flight, and when you're done toasting Yuri Gagarin tonight, hoist a few for these two Naval Aviators for me, would you?

You Know, Nixies Still Have An Appeal That LEDs Just Can't Match...

Item: From the "Retro Electronics R00lz, D00d!" department: A tip of the OM Devo Energy Dome goes out to Ryan Brooks for this excellent, cool and definitely retro Nixie Tube 24-Hour Clock! This is the type of gizmo you were expected to build from scratch to go along with your DIY Ham rig in the 60's and 70's, and sadly these days Nixies aren't that much in use due to the fact that, unlike LEDs or LCDs, Nixies *W*I*L*L* burn your fingers.

Ryan's justification for this clock comes from his own words as follows:

"So, I wanted a Nixie clock and I really wanted to design the hardware and program it myself. Most of the kits out there are based around a PIC or some other new, easy to use microcontroller. I thought it would be much more interesting to make a clock powered by an old school computer. The result is a 6502-powered Nixie clock."

Anyway, if you're interested in building one of these for yourselves, you can get the full scoop  here. Note that neither I nor Ryan are responsible for any fingers you burn during or after construction.

And now, without further adieu, here's your Wikilink for the day:

You kids enjoy Yuri's Night, eh? He may have been a commie, but he deserved that second flight he never got...

Ok, I'm finally caught up a bit with the bill paying work - which means I'll finally have the Gauge shots up in the next day or so - and I'm taking a break. That means some OMBlogging for a change, natch. That, and getting used to my new bifocals

Yep, it's true. OM has to wear bifocals now. The "O" in "OM" now stands for "Old"...

Item: Of course, the day after I get these damned things, ByteMite sends me this item:

What you see is a pair of prototype glasses from PixelOptics that replace bifocals, changing from distant vision to close-up with the flick of a switch. The technology works using an extremely thin layer of liquid crystal sandwiched between two pieces of glass. Nasser Peyghambarian, a professor of optical sciences at Arizona State University, helped develop the "dynamic" glasses, and commented on the project thusly:

"Bifocals effectively work the same way they have since they were invented by Benjamin Franklin. But as any of more than 40 million people in America who need bifocals know, they're a pain."

No shit, Sherlock. My own bifocals have proven to be a pain to adapt to, which is why I'm pissed these schmucks didn't develop these things five years ago so they'd be usable now. Anyway, PixelOptics says it plans to begin shipping glasses using this technology within two years. The first commercially-available smart lenses will be able to switch between near and far vision, but the company is also developing an autofocusing version. No doubt they'll also incorporate autoshading features, including a 3-D option.

Bulletin: Did anyone see those Seagate Hard Drives that Frey's had on special last week? The 300GB ones? Well, hopefully you didn't buy any of them, because according to an associate over in the Storage R&D department of that Big Computer Company With The Little Name That Hired Too Many Mid-Level Management Dorks From IBM, Seagate had a major problem with contamination in one of their fab plants, and a large batch of the 300GB EIDE drives are prone to head failure within a year. Rather than scrap them, Seagate has apparently dumped them on the home upgrade market for dirt cheap, knowing that people won't bitch about it too loudly when the drive fails within the next 10-12 months.

A similar frackup on Seagate's part back in '97 cost them a major contract with that same computer company when they couldn't find the source of the contamination - it wound up being outgassing from some cleaning solution the janitors were scrubbing the clean room floors with! - and ended up forcing Seagate to close their Ireland fab plant the day after they lost the contract. This, and other quality issues, are why I don't use Seagate drives even if they're given to me.

Item: Deluge and FosseFan send this one for the "Recycling Technology For Fun And Profit" department: Q: Where to Old Lear Jets go when they die of natural causes and not auguring?

Me, I'd Want An SR-71 Version...

A: They get recycled into limousines.

Nope, I'm not making this up. A Chicago-based company is converting old, retired Lear Jets into custom, exotic limousines. Exotic Coach of Chicago is now taking reservations for what they call a "Learmousine", or more logically marketed as a "LimoJet". The window sticker on this baby reads the following specs:

• Accommodates 16–18 Passengers
• Color: Candy Apple Red
• Interior: Black and Red
• 30" Chrome Wheels, Sposored by DUB™.
• Spacious Seating
• 1 42" Plasma Screen
• 4 Large Flat Screen TVs
• DVD player
• Laser, Strobe Lights, Disco Ball
• 4,500 Watt Stereo with CD Player
• Theater Surround Sound
• Realistic Jet Engine Cranking System and More

Anyway, if that stretched Hummer has gotten boring to all you rapper drug thugs, these will be available later this summer. Just don't be dumb enough to pull a drive-by in it, because it won't fly away...

Item: Stefan sends me this one from the US Patent Office. Seems someone's filed this patent - #6,055,910 - for what is essentially a fart-powered missile launcher. At least, that's what the abstract tells you when you read between the lines:

A toy gas-fired missile and launcher assembly whose missile is composed of a soft head and a tail extending therefrom formed by a piston. The piston is telescoped into the barrel of a launcher having a closed end on which is mounted an electrically-activated ignitor, the air space between the end of the piston and the closed end of the barrel defining a combustion chamber. Joined to the barrel and communicating with the chamber therein is a gas intake tube having a normally-closed inlet valve. To operate the assembly, the operator places the inlet tube with its valve open adjacent his anal region from which a colonic gas is discharged. The piston is then withdrawn to a degree producing a negative pressure to inhale the gas into the combustion chamber to intermix with the air therein to create a combustible mixture. The ignitor is then activated to explode the mixture in the chamber and fire the missile into space.

"Say Terrence, I've Got A New Way To Fart Around!"

Anyway, here's what the damn thing is supposed to look like. Note that there's nothing in the patent about what the contraption to get your fart from your rear end to the cannon looks like, which means they'll probably come up with a patent for that in due time.

Really, South Park needs to do an episode on this gadget...

Mood Floors, Man. Far Out.

Item: From the "Who Spiked The Pasta With LSD?" department: Apparently the mood ring isn't dead in Italy, because now they're adapting the psychedelic technology to flooring. b.Lab Italia has introduced what they call a Living Floor, which they describe as "interactive floor tiles that react to your steps, letting you leave disappearing footprints all over the room". These are essentially your standard PVC floor tiles, with a non-slip clear covering on top, and an interactive fluid layer sandwiched between the two. This middle layer behaves somewhat like beach sand, moving and changing its appearance as you walk on it, although not necessarily in color combinations that you'd expect to step in to begin with.

Anyway, the tiles are available in a variety of colors, sizes and metallic finishes, and while places like Color Tile aren't planning on stocking them anytime soon - their own lame patters appear to be good enough for them at this time - you can get them direct from b.Lab Italia. Reported MSRP is about $12-$30 bucks a tile USD, depending on the size and color you want. They also make table tops with the same features that are quite a bit pricier. Who said psychedelia was cheap?

Nieman Marcus, Eat Yer Heart Out!

Item: 10: GOTO(Hell); sent this back when CeBIT was going on. Testa Motari makes PC cases that are obviously *not* aimed for the gaming geeks. The one you see in the image above is solid 18k Gold and real Brazilian Rosewood, with a gold-plated, laser-etched keyboard and a touchpad that's actually gold-plated as well. Ditto for the mouse.

Testa Motari also makes some really artsy-fartsy desktop cases with similar styling, and also offers special custom cases made to customer's specifications with regards to the types of wood and precious metals used in construction. As for pricing, it's pretty much as you expect - if you have to ask, you probably can't afford it. Still, it beats the hell out of some Alienware excrement with an EBE on the lid...

Item: Here's a quick one that several of you Mac Geeks passed on recently, and it's possibly the only thing I've seen to justify having bought an iPod. It's a snapshot of Wikipedia that's been reconfigured to work on an iPod. Called Encyclopodia, it can be installed on iPod generations one to four, as well as on iPod Minis and Photo iPods. It's available from the Encyclopodia website as a donationware download, so if you want to put that piece of crap iPlod to good use, grab a copy of this and then go buy a real no-DRM-bullshit MP3 player.

This Isn't A Hoax, A Dream, Or An Imaginary Story, Kids...

Item: From the "Hell Really Froze Over" department: Yep, it's official. After someone hacked XP onto an Intel Mac, Apple was finally forced to concede defeat and "support" those who want to at least dual-boot a pair of enemy OS on one of their systems. Last week, Apple released Boot Camp which is essentially a boot manager that allows those Intel-based Macs to run Windows XP on their systems. And while it's obviously a defeat for those claiming that the Mac OS was superior to XP and "nobody in their right mind would ever load XP on superior hardware!", Apple isn't being too fracking humble about having to cut their own throats, either. From the main page for Boot Camp:

Apple has no desire or plan to sell or support Windows, but many customers have expressed their interest to run Windows on Apple’s superior hardware now that we use Intel processors,” said Philip Schiller, Apple’s senior vice president of Worldwide Product Marketing. “We think Boot Camp makes the Mac even more appealing to Windows users considering making the switch.

But wait! There's *more* rhetoric to laugh at:

Windows running on a Mac is like Windows running on a PC. That means it'll be subject to the same attacks that plague the Windows world. So be sure to keep it updated with the latest Microsoft Windows security fixes. Macs use an ultra-modern industry standard technology called EFI to handle booting. Sadly, Windows XP, and even the upcoming Vista, are stuck in the 1980s with old-fashioned BIOS. But with Boot Camp, the Mac can operate smoothly in both centuries.

Boy, does that put a new prime example for the term "pathetic" or what? But then again, they can't argue that they've at least capitulated and got the dual-boot setup to work in the one major area where Apple has sucked since they canned the Apple ][ - gaming. Several gaming sites have done the Boot Camp install, then installed graphics-intensive games like Half-Life 2, Oblivion and F.E.A.R. and found that MacBooks running Apple's official XP drivers provide a rather "robust, stable gaming platform capable of playing software from either side of the OS wars."

Either way, those of you who bought those Mactel boxes who want a *real* OS for your overpriced toy can now install one. That is, until Steve Jobs gets another corncob up his ass about his precious little OS getting the shaft again, and pulls the plug on Boot Camp the same way he did on the Power Computing Mac clones.

Item: From the "Cold War Surplus For Fun And Profit" department. Russian camera maker Zenit has produced what has to be one of the ultimate camera accessories ever made. It's the Foto Sniper, which consists of a Zenit 122 SLR 35mm camera and monstrous Tair 300mm 4.5 telephoto lens, all mounted on a sniper rifle stock. Designed to help steady shots taken at great range without the use of an unwieldy tripod, Zenit claims the unit can take some of the clearest telephotos at shutter speeds less than 1/30 - something normally impossible with even some of Canon's faster TF lenses.

You can purchase the Foto Sniper from Lomography for ~350.00 USD. Note that this is a film camera, and not a digital rig, and that Zenit is not selling the lens or the gun stock separate. So those of you with those Digital Rebels like me are probably better off going over to the local Gun Nut Shop and seeing if you can find someone who'll gunsmith a stock for you. Note if you do that, I suggest you paint the barrel orange so the local Gestapo doesn't shoot you by "mistake"...

Item: It had to happen. Someone's crossed a Swiss Army Knife with an MP3 Player.

You Can Cut Someone's Throat With This *AND* Play His Funeral Dirge Too!

This gadget is called the Swiss Beat, and features an aluminum case, 3-Line LCD display, 1 GB of Storage, an FM radio - what, is AM really dead? - a 2" Swiss Army blade, the mandantory mini scissors, and a nail file with nail cleaner. The MP3 player is also detachable from the body and works as a USB drive as well.

While no corkscrew or Phillips head screwdriver, this might prove to be quite the versatile gadget, especially if you're a Boy Scout who doesn't care for 100% roughing it in the woods without the occasional tunes to drown out the bear growling at you. The price tag for this multi-tool is around $175.00, and can be found at ThinkGeek, although I hear Cabela's will probably be stocking these as well come Chrisnukkah.

Item: From the "Cinerama The Next Generation" department: Juram5 and Drat both sent this one a while back, and I'm finally blogging it here. This is a 24-monitor setup dedicated to playing Quake III. This setup runs on a Linux cluster at Virginia Tech's HCI lab, at a rather respectable resolution of 10240x3072. The guy behind all this had the following to say about this particular project:

It's amazing how much more fun games are when you can play them on really large, high-resolution screens. Our lab also has a 24 monitor display wall, and as you can see from the pictures below, I got Quake 3 running on it. The system is driven by 12 linux servers (2 monitors per server) using Distributed Multihead X (DMX) and Chromium. Chromium distributes the OpenGL rendering from the head node to all of the servers. The game runs fairly fast, though some lighting effects had to be turned off and Chromium is having some trouble with the mouse. Even so, playing the game is an awesome experience. Feel free to email me (plastk@vt.edu) with what you think.

Apparently he's also done similar experiments with nine projection TVs playing Warcraft 2. You can see more of these projects, as well as some videos of the displays in action, at plastk.net.

Ok, I'm off to a staff meeting at Sugar's Uptown Cabaret - no, really, a *staff* meeting. As in business talk. We won't even be inside the club when it happens, either. In any case, here's a Wikilink for you kids to throw back and forth until tomorrow, which is when I expect to play blog catch-up yet again:

While I'm doing this OMBlog, there's a two-part episode of the Fess Parker series playing in the background. I'd forgotten how good this series was, which just goes to show you they don't make'em like that anymore...

Still Yet Another El Quicko Update: I'm still sort of alive right now, and once again back in sunny, quasi-coastal Houstopolis dealing with a dance contest at Sugar's Houston, as well as taking advantage of some of the town's shopping malls. Which means yeah, the weight loss was a *lot* more than predicted - not only am I about ~220lbs, I also wear a size 44x30 in the pants now. Gone are the size 50's - and no, I'm not donating them to the homeless for tents - and I'm wearing something more fitting. Which has a lot of people freaked out because now they think I'm dying for real. Who knows? They could be right.

But I digress. Either way, I'm about to crash after taking pictures of the Itty Bitty [Chest] Contest at Sugar's Houston, which almost turned into a total colossal clusterfrack thanks to one bimbo refusing to allow pictures to be taken of her performance. Luckily she didn't win, and the gal who did was really enthusiastic about having her pictures taken. I should have those pictures up online in a day or two, but the Gauge shots still take priority, and I've got about 500 more of the 1500 to go through. Yep, my life's a bitch, and then it married me.

Anyway, before I crash, I've got to unwind a bit. So I'm going to give you kids not one, but THREE Wikilinks:

If anyone's to blame for so-called "Country Rock" or "Southern Rock", it wasn't Lynyrd Skynyrd, kids...
 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #2

Brian Boitano

I had to explain to a dancer this evening who'd just finally seen South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut for the first time just *who* Brian was, and why what he would do would really fracking matter in the first place. Personally, I'd be more interested in what Peggy Flemming would do...
 

OMBlog's "Random" Wikilink Of The Day #3

Houston's Infamous Beltway 8

The highway Houston will never finish actually saved me some time getting here, as a nice wreck jammed up I-45 South along with a bunch of dipshits on their way to the Gulf Coast. Best $5.00 I've spent in Houstopolis in years, and probably the only time I've ever used a toll road and didn't complain once. Not that they still are an abomination and a concept spawned by Satan and his disciples, but sometimes the Devil's tools can be used for good just to spite him...

You kids take care, and I'll probably post a more regular OMBlog starting Tuesday.

Yet Another El Quicko Update: I'm still alive, having survived the emergency DJ work at Sugar's San Antonio, and the rest of the week at Sugar's Houston to take photos of the feature performances by adult film star Gauge. Thanks to Daylight Fucking Savings Time, the trip back from Houstopolis took an extra "hour", seeing as how I left -before- 2am. So, to all those little kids who were supposedly spared having to "walk to school in the pitch black pre-dawn hours" in the farm belts in the upper Yankee regions, I hope you all step on nails on your way to those classes you skip anyway. Rusty ones, even.

But I sort of digress. As I wait for fatigue to finally take over and cause me to fall asleep on the keyboard, let me say three quick things about last week that need to be mentioned:

1. The ladies of Sugar's San Antonio deserve a big kiss on the ass for taking *VERY* good care of me, knowing full well I was damn near dead on my feet the whole time I was DJing. With one psychotic exception - and they fired that cunt when she came in on Tuesday! - every single one of them gave me no grief whatsoever. Haven't had that happen in a *long* time, which is why I don't DJ all that often. The stress can almost be as bad as phone tech support!
    

2. Gauge put on one hell of a show at Sugar's Houston, and really knew how to wake up a normally lethargic crowd. I hate to say this, Houstonians, but when a porn star shows up and gets nekkid on stage, she expects everyone to go wild and scream, not sit there, nurse your cheap beer, and go "duh." Either way, she was great to work with, and totally blew the stereotype that the Big Name Porn Stars are all stuck-up bitches and/or obnoxious cunts and/or total dipshits. Here's hoping the other Sugar's and/or Perfect 10 clubs will have her performing in Austin or SA really, really soon!
   
   Oh, and I took over 1800 photos of 7 of her 9 performances. Which means under the shitty stage lighting conditions I have to work with, even at 3200 ASA I'm probably only going to get about 300-400 pictures that are worth using. But that's a lot, kids. National Geographic's photographers didn't get that good a ratio back even when they were using film.
    

3. Finally, I *did* get some really good pictures of those new exhibits at Space Center Disney, Yep, I speak of those for ASTP and the Skylab 1G Trainer that I appear to have been responsible for. I'll be updating my ASTP page shortly to show how the Docking Module Trainer finally gets the happy ending it deserves!
    

4. There is no 4.

Anyway, a few other things happened, but that's enough for now. In any case, I'll be busy editing and posting updates to the club websites for the next couple of days, so don't expect a full regular OMBlog entry until Tuesday at the earliest. Before I crash, tho, here's your Wikilink for the day:

If you really want my opinion on this, Daylight Savings Time is the ultimate in bad April Fool's Day jokes, one that won't go away until damn near Halloween...

Don't See A Navigation Bar
On The Left? Click Here!