IOU Adventures Theme Song or, The Evil Ballad Of Illuminati University by John M. Ford This file is available on the Web at "http://www.io.com/~woodward/d7/". ----------------------------------------------------------------------- <<< University Well, since I had to go looking about in the Historical Archives, to find out what the acronym TOILET *did* stand for, I might as well resurrect the "theme song"...>>>> 421: The Theme Song Date: 05:54 11/16/90 By: John M. Ford [49] (With a little help from Austin Loomis and Jonathan Woodward.) THE ILLUMINATI UNIVERSITY THEME SONG (To the tune of the Tiny Toon Adventures theme.) We deal in illusion, hypnosis and confusion And this institution has its eye on all below! A liberal college of weird forbidden knowledge Our classes cover everything Man Wasn't Meant To Know! Behold the ancient buildings where our scholars work and dwell They move when no one's looking and they all connect to Hell! Through these eldritch portals we don't get many mortals And everything considered, guess it's just as well! Here man and cetacean serve up an education In Space and Time Dilation, and Paradoxes too! Experimentation with genes and radiation Makes every graduation a triumph for the few! The Archdean is an angel and the Art Curator's mad And here you need a parachute to get through Drop and Add! If you find you're dying', well don't you start a-cryin' We'll bring you back from the dead and we're sure you're glad! There's placement and pretest in Science Weird and Weirdest Our annual Samhainfest and Necronomicomp! Take Ethics for Tyrants or Laboratory Violence Call Military Science, the Ogre's on the stomp! Illuminated attitudes pervade our faculty From Evil Stevie's Library to Arcane R & D! We're deep and we're dotty at dear Illuminati The Higher Mystic Institute for one and all! (I - O - U - oo - oo) ...Admissions down the hall!